CONSERVATISM IN GOVERNING

A PROMINENT CONSERVATIVE RECENTLY, PRESENTED SIX QUESTIONS TO AN AUDIENCE TO BE ASKED OF A CONSERVATIVE GOVERNMENT. THESE SIX ARE ANSWERED, IN THE PREAMBLE TO OUR CONSTITUTION. A CONSERVATIVE GOVERNMENT'S POLICIES SHOULD REFLECT THE CONSTITUTION'S FRAMEWORK.

1. DOES GOV'T. UNIFY AMERICANS? ANSWERED BY THE 1ST REASON TO ESTABLISH THE CONSTITUTION OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA TO "FORM A MORE PERFECT UNION." HOW? BY LAWS ENFORCED WHICH DECREE THAT ALL AMERICANS ARE EQUAL UNDER THE LAW.

2. DOES GOV'T. MAKE AMERICANS MORE PROSPEROUS? ANSWERED BY THE 2ND, 3RD AND 5TH REASONS TO "ESTABLISH JUSTICE," 'INSURE DOMESTIC TRANQUILLITY" AND "PROMOTE THE GENERAL WELFARE.". HOW? BY COURTS THAT SERVE JUSTICE TO CRIMINALS AND PROTECT CITIZENS FROM DANGEROUS PEOPLE. BY AN ECONOMIC POLICY THAT ENCOURAGES MONEY MAKING, SAVINGS, HARD WORK AND HONESTY. BY PERMITTING LAW-ABIDING DISSENT.
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3. DOES GOV'T. MAKE AMERICANS SAFER? ANSWERED BY THE 4TH REASON TO "PROVIDE FOR COMMON DEFENSE'. HOW? BY EFFECTIVE LAW ENFORCEMENT AND A STRONG MILITARY.

4. DOES GOVERNMENT PROMOTE SELF-RELIANCE? ANSWERED BY THE 5TH REASON TO "PROMOTE THE GENERAL WELFARE". HOW? BY FOSTERING INDIVIDUAL RESPONSIBILITY REGARDING HEALTH, EDUCATION, HOUSING AND FOOD.

5. IS GOV'T. RESPONSIBLE? ANSWERED BY THE 5TH REASON TO "PROMOTE THE GENERAL WELFARE". HOW? WASHINGTON SHOULD LEAD BY EXAMPLE. IT SHOULD NOT WASTE THE PUBLIC' MONIES OR EMBRACE A CULTURE OF PATRONAGE AND GREED. IT SHOULD POLICE ITSELF JUST AS THE PEOPLE IT REPRESENTS SHOULD PRACTICE SELF-DISCIPLINE.

6. WHAT IS GOVERNMENT'S BUSINESS? ANSWERED BY THE 6TH REASON TO "SECURE THE BLESSINGS OF LIBERTY". HOW? BY STAYING OUT OF CITIZENS' LIVES AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE AND PROVIDING ONLY THE NECESSARY SERVICES SUCH AS SAFETY AT HOME AND PROTECTION FROM OUTSIDE ENEMIES.

WHAT A CHALLENGE FOR A PRESIDENTIAL LEADER,. CONGRESSIONAL LEADERSHIP, TRADITIONAL JUDGES AND INDIVIDUAL CITIZENS? SO DEVILISHLY DIFFICULT ARE THE DETAILS THAT CONTROVERSY DIVIDES THIS COUNTRY INTO CONSERVATIVES AND LIBERALS.

UNAWARES

JUST WHEN I WASN’T THINKING, SOMETHING UNEXPECTED AND CHARMING ACCOSTED. DRIVING DOWN MY SMALL TOWN STREET TODAY, I PASSED TWO BICYCLES PEDALED BY 2 CHUBBIES. THE FIRST CONVEYANCE PULLED A TINY TWO-WHEELED, COVERED, YELLOW CONVEYANCE, NO HIGHER THAN TWO FEET ABOVE THE PAVEMENT, PROUDLY INITIALED "SAFETY 1ST." THIS RICKSHAW HOUSED A MINIATURE WHITE POODLE AND A SMALL, FEMALE CHILD. BICYCLE ONE PULLED THE DUO OF PRECIOUS CARGO. BICYCLE TWO FOLLOWED THE SMALL OCCUPANTS IN TANDEM. NEITHER MOTHER NOR DAD, CARRIED WITH THEM OR SWIGGED ON A BOTTLED WATER SO TYPICAL OF THE ELITE. EVIDENTLY CONFIDENT IN THEIR SAFETY, THE ADULTS PEDALED ON THE BERM OF THE ROAD. CAREFREE WERE THE ASPECTS OF ALL FOUR TRAVELERS IN THE 70 DEGREE SPRING AFTERNOON AIR. DELIGHTED WAS I THAT I ENCOUNTERED THEM. PERHAPS THE POODLE SMILED BACK AT ME. EAT YOUR HEART OUT BLUE ISLANDS OF AMERICA. THIS IS AN EXAMPLE OF LIVING THE LIFE WE RED FOLKS LOVE TO LIVE.

THE DEMOS SPEAK

WILL THE DEMOS SPEAK MONDAY, MAY 1ST? WHO WILL LISTEN? LIBERTY, EQUALITY AND FRATERNITY ARE A DANGEROUS COMBINATION, REMEMBER THE BUSY FRENCH GUILLOTINE? ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS AND THEIR SYMPATHIZERS PLAN A MAY DAY 'CELEBRATION' WHICH IS A EERIE REMINDER OF ANOTHER REVOLUTION BY THE DEMOS IN RUSSIA, ALSO COMMEMORATED MONDAY. MANIPULATORS WHO WANT THE MEXICAN DEMOS IN THEIR RANKS ARE THE LIBERAL POLITICIANS, THE LABOR UNIONS, THE GOVERNMENT UNIONS. HOLLYWOOD CELEBRITIES, THE EDUCATIONAL ELITE AND THE POPULAR PRESS JOIN IN THE EXPLOITATION. THE LESSON LEARNED FROM THE 1960'S REVOLUTION IN AMERICA WILL BE PUT TO USE BY THE DROP-OUTS MONDAY AS THEY CAPTURE THE LANGUAGE FOR THEIR CAUSE BY RE-DEFINING THE TERM "ILLEGAL ALIEN" AS "UNDOCUMENTED WORKER." WHAT A COUP!
HOW DID THIS PROBLEM WITH THE DEMOS FROM DOWN SOUTH ORIGINATE? IRONICALLY IT BEGAN WITH THE DEMOS IN THE UNITED STATES, PRACTICING THEIR PRACTICAL DEMOCRACY. FREE ENTERPRISE, ALIVE AND WELL, WAS OFF AND RUNNING WHEN BUSINESSES NEEDING WORKERS, HIRED THOSE WHO APPLIED FOR THE JOBS. WHOEVER WAS RELIABLE AND PERFORMED WELL SURVIVED IN THE WORKFORCE; WHOEVER WAS WILLING TO TOIL FOR THE WAGE THAT THE COMPANY COULD AFFORD TO PAY ALSO PREVAILED. YEARS PASSED.

THIS DEMOCRATIC SYSTEM OF SUPPLY AND DEMAND CONTINUED BECAUSE AMERICANS, MORE SPOILED AND PRIVILEGED THAN THEIR POORER COUNTERPARTS IN MEXICO, CHOSE ALTERNATIVE JOBS, SUPERVISED OR HIRED PEONS RATHER THAN REMAIN ENTRY LEVEL PEONS THEMSELVES. BESIDES, TYPICAL OF HUMAN NATURE IN A DIVERSE SOCIETY, AMERICANS WRONGLY BEHAVED AS IF SOME 'RACES', SOME PEOPLES ARE MORE EQUAL THAN OTHERS. YEARS PASSED.

UNTIL WE ARRIVE AT THE SITUATION TODAY. LIBERALS, I BELIEVE, PREACH, FOR POLITICAL PURPOSES THAT "ILLEGALS" ARE NO LONGER "ILLEGALS" OR "ALIEN" BECAUSE THEY DESERVE TO BE EQUAL TO THEM. CONSERVATIVES, I BELIEVE, CONTEND THAT ALL ALIENS ARE NOT EQUAL BECAUSE SOME LEGALS ARE MORE EQUAL THAN OTHERS WHO ARE ILLEGAL.

IT WILL BE UP TO THE DEMOS - AGAIN AND REMINISCENT OF THE THEIR FUNCTION THROUGHOUT HISTORY - TO WORK OUT A SOLUTION - OR A REVOLUTION.

WAR BETWEEN THE SAINTS

MY HUSBAND RESEMBLES ST. THOMAS, AQUINAS, THAT IS, UNFLAWED, BRIGHT, INTELLECTUAL AND A DEEP THINKER. HE'S STOLID, SOLID, PATIENT, OFTEN DUMB (QUIET), SOMETIMES STUBBORN (AS AN OX), BUT RELIABLE, DEVOTED TO HIS CALLING, AND, YES, A VERITABLE SAINT. I, ON THE OTHER HAND, RESEMBLE AN EARLY ST. AUGUSTINE, TOTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY FLAWED, WITH ORDINARY TALENTS AND A HABIT OF MULLING OVER EVERYTHING. I'M TOO OFTEN TALKATIVE, MOST TIMES SELFISH, BUT RELIABLE, DEVOTED TO MY CALLING AND, YES, IN SPITE OF PROTESTS, ASPIRE TO BE GOOD. I KNOW BOTH MEN - THOMAS AND AUGUSTINE - ARE REVERED IN THE CATHOLIC CHURCH, ST. THOMAS FOR HIS INHERENT BELIEF IN THE BASIC GOODNESS OF MAN, ST. AUGUSTINE FOR HIS CONTENTION THAT MAN IS INHERENTLY FLAWED. BUT UNDOUBTEDLY THE TWAIN HAVE MANIFESTED HOLINESS, LIVED EXEMPLARY LIVES AND DESERVED SAINTHOOD. OH, THAT THEY HAD BEEN BORN TO GREATNESS ON THE PATH OF MARRIAGE TO EACH OTHER. THEY WOULD HAVE ENCOUNTERED MANY BUSHES WITH THORNS OF CONFLICT. OPPOSITES LIKE MY HUSBAND AND I ATTRACT, BUT DISSIMILARITIES HAVE SOMETIMES REPULSED US.

WE’RE TRAPPED A CATCH 22 LIKE EXXON MOBIL OIL COMPANY. POLITICIANS AND THE PUBLIC CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT OIL, BUT THEY CAN'T STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT THE PROFITS FROM IT. WE TOO NEED EACH OTHER IN SPITE OF ‘SAINTLY’ CONTRASTS. AN INTRINSIC TENSION PROVIDES THE FORMULA OF EXXON'S SUCCESS; IT VALIDATES OUR MARITAL WAR.

UNFORCED MARCHES

I MARCH FROM COMFORT TO KITCHEN
KITCHEN TO SOFA, SOFA TO KITCHEN,
KITCHEN TO CHAIR, CHAIR TO OPEN WINDOW,
WINDOW TO PERFECT PERCH ON A CHEST.

I MARCH TO MY CAT REPASTS,
TO CAN OPENER OR MY SERVANT'S CALL,
TO KNIFE CHOPPING, A BEDTIME TREAT
TO A HEAVING CHEST AT REST.

I MARCH AT LAST TO LEGS SUPINE
ON A BED, MARCH NOT IN-BETWEEN
THEM, BUT TO THE SIDE OF HIS HEAD,
TO ENJOY EIGHT HOURS OF PEACE.

THE 1ST GENOCIDE

MUSLIMS WHO HAVE NOT LEARNED FROM HISTORY ARE GLADLY REPEATING IT. TODAY IS APRIL 25TH , HOLOCAUST REMEMBRANCE DAY. YESTERDAY, APRIL 24TH, REMINDED ME THAT IN 1915, THE FIRST, FATAL GESTURE SIGNALING THE SERIOUS PHASE OF THE ARMENIAN GENOCIDE BEGAN. WHAT STARTED WITH THE EXTERMINATION OF 250 COMMUNITY, CULTURAL LEADERS BECAME A WIDESPREAD GOVERNMENT SPONSORED PROGRAM TO ERADICATE AN INFIDEL POPULATION - THE CHRISTIAN ARMENIANS. IT WAS FED BY HATRED BETWEEN MUSLIMS AND CHRISTIANS, BUT IT EVENTUALLY SPREAD TO INCLUDE EVEN MURDERS OF MUSLIM SYMPATHIZERS. IT WAS CHARACTERIZED BY MASS EXECUTIONS, DROWNING, BURNINGS, RAPE, TORTURE AND PILLAGE WHICH CONTINUED UNABATED. ORGANIZED METHODS FOR ERADICATION INCLUDED CATTLE CARS FOR DEPORTATION, CONCENTRATION CAMPS, FORCED MARCHES AND KILLING SQUADS AS ENFORCERS. IRONICALLY, THE POPE AT THE TIME WAS BENEDICT XV, NAMESAKE OF OUR PRESENT PONTIFF, BENEDICT XVI. HE JOINED THE OUTCRY OF AN OUTRAGED WORLD TO PROTEST THIS GENOCIDE OF APPROXIMATELY 1 MILLION HUMAN BEINGS. SAD BUT IRONIC, 1915, WAS A 'TRIAL RUN', A 'FORESHADOWING,' AN AVATAR OF WHAT WAS TO COME FOR THE JEWS DURING WORLD WAR II. TRULY, ALL THE ACTIONS OF THE TURKS INSPIRED BY A FATWA AND ORDERED BY TWO PASHAS AND OTHER OFFICIALS, WERE AS DARK AS THE NIGHT OF THE JEWISH HOLOCAUST WHICH WAS ALSO BASED ON THE HATRED OF A RACE. UNFORTUNATELY, THE WILL OF ALLAH WHICH DROVE THE OTTOMANS TO THE ARMENIAN GENOCIDE, IS ALIVE AND WELL TODAY. MUSLIM TERRORISTS ON A JIHAD, CRUSADE TO RID THE WORLD OF US, CHRISTIAN CAPITALISTS, THE MODERN DAY INFIDEL, US THE FILTHY PIGS AND DOGS. SCARY!

BOBBLE HEAD 3

READ IT, HEAR IT, SHAKE MY HEAD. I'VE A BOBBLE HEAD.

WHY ARE LIBERAL DEMOCRATS AWOL ON THE WAR BETWEEN FREEDOM AND TERROR? PARTISAN POLITICS IS THEIR ONLY LOYALTY.

WHY IS DO LEFTIST LIBERALS NUANCE TREASON INTO AN ACCUSATION OF SCAPEGOATING BY REPUBLICANS WHEN MARY MCCARTHY LEAKS CIA CLASSIFIED INFORMATION TO A JOURNALIST DANA PRIEST, WHO IN TURN WINS A PULITZER PRIZE FOR HER REPORT?

WHY DOES PROGRESSIVE SENATOR KERRY USE HIS ACCUSATION THAT PRESIDENT BUSH LYING TO EVERYONE TO JUSTIFY CALLING THE MARY MCCARTHY CONFESSION OF GUILT A WITCH HUNT?

WHY DOES JOURNALIST SAM DONALDSON COMPARE MARY MCCARTHY TO A HEROIC CIVIL RIGHTS PROTESTOR WHO TOOK A SEAT AT A LUNCH COUNTER TO PROTEST SEGREGATION IN 1960. MCCARTHY BETRAYED GOVERNMENT SECRETS.

WHY OH WHY? WHERE OH WHERE HAS SANITY GONE?

NOT TO KEN LAY WHO WAS PAID MILLIONS OF DOLLARS AS CEO OF ENRON, BUT CLAIMED HE KNEW NOTHING OF WHAT WENT ON DURING HIS WATCH. HE OBVIOUSLY WAS MERELY A RICHLY REWARDED IDIOT AT THE HELM.

TO PUT A POSITIVE SPIN ON MY BOBBLE-HEAD'S BOBBLE , I CHOOSE TO NUANCE THE IDIOCIES OF LIBERALS AND INDIVIDUALS INTO TYPOGRAPHICAL ERRORS FOR 'IDIOSYNCRASIES.' I REALLY WANT TO BELIEVE THEY ARE MISGUIDED.

BOBBLE HEAD II

READ IT, HEAR IT, SHAKE MY HEAD. I'VE A BOBBLE HEAD.
A. THE MEANINGFUL IS WITHOUT MEANING OR VICE VERSA.
B. THE OBVIOUS IS NUANCED, DEBATED OR IGNORED.
C. STUPID COMMENTS DELINEATE THE OUT-OF-TOUCH ELITE.

ON SHAKESPEARE'S BIRTHDAY AND DEATH DAY, APRIL 23TH, I READ THAT 1564 WAS "THOUGHT" TO BE THE BIRTH DATE OF THE PLAYWRIGHT; YET ON THE SAME PAGE OF THE NEWSPAPER, I READ THAT WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE (1564-1616) PENNED THE PLAY, HENRY V.
B. I SHAKE MY HEAD.

ROLLER DERBY IS BACK IN OHIO, WITH WOMEN WHOSE ARMS ARE TENDER AFTER FRESH TATTOOS, WHO SPORT BODY PIERCINGS AND WHO LOOK FORWARD TO A "FIRST BLOOD" MATCH OF "KICK ASS" ENTERTAINMENT ON SKATES.
A. I SHAKE MY HEAD.

A JOURNALIST WHO WAS RELIEVED OF REPORTAGE AND ALLOWED TO WRITE COLUMNS AFTER 2 DECADES OF EMPLOYMENT WITH A NEWSPAPER BECAUSE OF HIS LIBERAL EDITORIALIZING, EXPRESSED "BITTERNESS AT BEING PUT OUT TO PASTURE."
C. I SHAKE MY HEAD

A FEMALE CIA EMPLOYEE ADMITS LEAKING CLASSIFIED INFORMATION BUT IS EXCUSED AS A SCAPEGOAT BY THE LIBERAL MEDIA WHO ALSO OVERLOOK THAT SHE MADE SIZEABLE CONTRIBUTIONS TO THE DEMOCRAT PARTY.
B. I SHAKE MY HEAD.

TEARS ROLLED DOWN THE CHEEKS OF A BOARD OF EDUCATION FINANCE COMMITTEE CHAIRMAN AS SHE CUT JOBS AND SERVICES BECAUSE TAXPAYERS WOULD NOT APPROVE A PROPERTY TAX HIKE FOR EDUCATIONAL REVENUE. STUDENT ATHLETES MUST NOW PAY $400 FEE PER SPORT. STUDENTS WHO LIVE LESS THAN A MILE FROM SCHOOL WILL NOT BE BUSSED.
B. I SHAKE MY HEAD

REPUBLICAN SENATOR MIKE DE WINE OPPOSES OPENING THE ARCTIC NATIONAL WILDLIFE REFUGE TO OIL DRILLING.
C. I SHAKE MY HEAD.

DEMOCRAT SENATOR SHERROD BROWN, A SELF-PROFESSED PROGRESSIVE (LIBERAL), CLAIMS HIS MAJOR ISSUES ARE THE LOSS OF U.S. JOBS TO GLOBALIZATION AND DEVELOPING ALTERNATIVE ENERGY SOURCES.
C. I SHAKE MY HEAD.

A DEMOCRATIC VISION WILL BE INTRODUCED AND CAMPAIGNED STARTING ON APRIL 29 CONSISTING OF: OPEN AND HONEST GOVERNMENT, SECURITY ENERGY INDEPENDENCE, ECONOMIC PROSPERITY AND EDUCATIONAL EXCELLENCE, EXPANDED HEALTH CARE AND RETIREMENT SECURITY
C. I SHAKE MY HEAD, BUT I'LL VOTE FOR A VISION LIKE THAT. AND I DO MEAN A VISION - A DREAM ENGENDERED FROM EUPHEMISTIC SUGAR PLUMS DANCING IN LIBERAL POLITICIANS IDIOTIC HEADS.

BOBBLE HEAD

READ IT, HEAR IT, SHAKE MY HEAD. I'VE A BOBBLE HEAD.
A. THE MEANINGFUL IS WITHOUT MEANING OR VICE VERSA.
B. THE OBVIOUS IS NUANCED, DEBATED OR IGNORED.
C. STUPID COMMENTS DELINEATE THE OUT-OF-TOUCH ELITE

JURORS MUST DECIDE IF MOUSSAOUI SHOULD GET THE DEATH PENALTY.
B. SHAKE MY HEAD
IRAN HAS REACHED AN AGREEMENT WITH RUSSIA TO ENRICH URANIUM.
B. SHAKE MY HEAD.
THE NEW ORLEANS ELECTION CAN'T BE FAIR BECAUSE BLACK VOTERS HAVE BEEN DISPLACED.
C. .SHAKE MY HEAD
PRO-DEMOCRACY DEMONSTRATIONS TURN VIOLENT IN NEPAL.
A. SHAKE MY HEAD.
MORE ELDERLY DIED STANDING IN LINE FOR SARS SHOTS THAN FROM THE SARS ILLNESS ITSELF.
A. SHAKE MY HEAD.
PRESIDENT BUSH SAYS ALTERNATIVE FUELS AND VEHICLES WITH NO POLLUTION ARE SMART IDEAS.
A. SHAKE MY HEAD.
ONE OF THE STRIPPERS AT THE LACROSSE PLAYERS' PARTY IS INVOLVED IN AN UNRELATED CRIMINAL CASE.
A. SHAKE MY HEAD.
A RETAIL FOOD MARKET AND MATTRESS MART ADVERTISE SALE PRICES EVERYDAY.
B. SHAKE MY HEAD.
NATALIE HOLLOWAY, HONOR STUDENT OR NO, WAS PARTYING IN HARM'S WAY IN ARUBA WITH HER PARENTS' KNOWLEDGE.
B. SHAKE MY HEAD
LIBERAL GEN. WESLEY CLARK SAID THAT AMERICANS WHO HAVE SENT SOLDIERS TO WAR KNOW "PRECIOUS LITTLE OF WHO THEY ARE, HOW THEY FEEL OR WHAT THEY DO."
C. SHAKE MY HEAD.
IN 2005, EACH AMERICAN CONSUMED 26 GALLONS OF BOTTLED WATER.
A. SHAKE MY HEAD - MY HEAD THAT ONLY TILTS TO ENJOY FREE WATER.

NO NUANCE II

THE FRENCH LEFTIST NEWSPAPER, LIBERATION, HAS BEEN ACCUSED OF BEING "TOO NUANCED, TOO MUSHY, TOO LIBERAL." NO DOUBT! BEGUN BY THE EXISTENTIALIST, JEAN PAUL SARTRE, IN 1973, IT CARRIED ON THE TRADITION OF ANGST AND ANGER OF THE STUDENT REVOLTS IN FRANCE IN 1968. THE SIXTIES REVOLUTION IN AMERICA SPOUTED A SIMILAR PHILOSOPHY OF COUNTER-CULTURALISM, SOCIAL UPHEAVAL AND DARK, DESTRUCTIVE THINKING. AFRAID OF THE FUTURE AND FIXATED IN THE PAST, LEFTIST LIBERALS - PAST AND PRESENT -EMBRACE FAVORITE CAUSES SUCH AS MARXISM, MAOISM, ANTI- ESTABLISHMENTARIANISM, SOCIAL ENGINEERING, COMMUNISM AND COMMUNES.

IN CONTRAST, UNAWARES IN THE 60'S AND 70'S, I NEVER ENGAGED IN MORAL, POLITICAL OR CULTURAL DISSENT. CONSCIENTIOUS, HARD-WORKING AND MAINSTREAM, I APPROVED OF MUCH MORE IN AMERICA THAN I OBJECTED TO. IN THE 80'S AN, OPTIMIST, RONALD REAGAN, WAS PRESIDENT. I HADN'T FOLLOW HIS LIFE OR CAREER, BUT MILLIONS DID. PRES. REAGAN WASN'T INTIMIDATED BY THE FUTURE OR ITS CHALLENGES; HE REJECTED LIVING IN THE PAST. HE EMBRACED CAPITALISM AND DEMOCRACY AND DREW HIS INSPIRATION FROM THE GOODNESS AND GREATNESS OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE. NO PERSONAL CREED, SOCIAL OR POLITICAL POLICY OF PRESIDENT REAGAN SMACKED OF NUANCE, MUSHINESS OR LIBERALISM. RATHER HE PREACHED ABOUT 'MORNING IN AMERICA,' WAKING UP TO POSSIBILITIES, NOT PROTESTS. HE NEVER ENVISIONED BLOWING UP THE "SHINING CITY ON A HILL," TO CREATE A BRAVER NEW WORLD. LEFTOVER SYMPATHIZERS OF THE DEBACLE AT THE BASTILLE, WOULD!

NO NUANCE

DERIVED FROM THE LATIN NUBES FOR CLOUD, A NUANCE IS A SLIGHT DIFFERENCE IN PERCEPTION. IT MAY APPLY TO THE APPRECIATION OF MUSIC, BUT NOT TO THE LIBERALS TAKE ON AMERICA'S PRESENT "WORLD CLASS" CONDITION. PROGRESSIVES LOOK BEYOND FACTS TO THE PENUMBRAS OF FICTION. JOHN KERRY SUPPORTS DETENTE AND DITHERING AS HIS NUANCED VERSION OF POWER AND PURPOSE IN A TIME OF WAR. A LOCAL, DEMOCRATIC MAYOR LOOKED BEYOND THE FACTS OF OUR BOOMING ECONOMY TO THE PLIGHT OF THE WORKING POOR WHO, HE CLAIMED, STRUGGLE IN THESE HARD TIMES. PROTESTERS FOR ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION HAVE PERCEIVED THE IMMIGRANTS THROUGH HUMANITARIAN EYES AS VICTIMS, REFUGEES. I HATE TO HEAR (NO NUANCE FROM ME) A LEFTIST POLITICIAN EXPRESS HIS OR HER NEGATIVE TAKE ON REALITY AS NUANCED. I THINK, "YOU BLOODY LIAR." EVERY TIME I'M REMINDED OF REALITY, I SAY, "AMAZING."

DEATHS IN THE U.S. DECLINED WITH THE LARGEST DROP IN 60 YEARS. LIFE EXPECTANCY CONTINUES TO INCREASE. THE DOW JONES INDUSTRIAL AVERAGE IS AT A 6 YEAR HIGH. VACATIONING AND RECREATIONAL GAMBLING ARE FLOURISHING WITH RECORD SPENDING. UNEMPLOYMENT STANDS AT RECORD LOWS. THERE ARE MORE CAR MODELS THAN LETTERS OF THE ALPHABET. MY 1ST AND VIRTUALLY LAST WHOPPER FROM BURGER KING COST WAY MORE IN THE EARLY 60'S THAN IT DOES TODAY, SALE PRICED AT $1.29. FOOD IS CHEAP AND PLENTIFUL. LIVING IS EASY. DEADLINES ARE USUALLY EXTENDED; GRACE PERIODS STANDARD OPERATING PROCEDURES. FREE INFORMATION CIRCLES THE GLOBE. SCHOOLING IS RELAXED; MORALITY TOO. WINNERS ARE AT LIBERTY TO CURSE OR RENOUNCE AWARDS LIKE AN ACADEMY AWARD OR THE NOBEL PRIZE. AMAZING!

THE "BLOODY LIARS" PAINT A PICTURE OF DOOM AND GLOOM IN AMERICA ONLY A NUANCE AWAY FROM RUSSIA, CHINA, IRAN, NORTH KOREA OR CUBA AS AN IMPERIALISTIC, GREEDY, ARROGANT AND BAD NATION.

I SAY WAKE UP, IT'S SPRING, PUDDLE LUSCIOUS AND MALARIA FREE. I SAY INHALE THE HYACINTHS, LILACS, WILD PLUM, APPLE BLOSSOMS AND HEADY PERFUME OF PROSPERITY. WHIFF THE NUANCES.

AILUROPHILE

I’M NO AILUROPHOBE. I'VE LIVED A CAT BOX LIFE. THROUGH THE THICKNESS OF PREGNANCIES, THROUGH THE THINNESS OF CAREERS, AFTER 41 YEARS OF CONSISTENT LITTER DUTY, I CALCULATE THAT I'VE BOWED TO MY MISSION A MINIMUM OF 15,000 TIMES. OF COURSE, THAT NUMBER ACCOUNTS FOR TENDING TO A SOLITARY CAT; OVER THE YEARS, I’VE SCOOPED FOR MANY A KITTY. I'VE PAID A PRICE FOR SERVITUDE. BESIDES MY DAILY TRIP TO A CLEANING STATION, I PAID MY TOLL WITH RESIGNATION TO CAT HAIR AS A PERMANENT COMPANION ON MY CLOTHES, BEDDING, FURNITURE, RUGS AND FOOD. YET I'VE ADMIRED NUMEROUS VARIATIONS OF ODORLESS AND NON-IRRITATING COATS. MY ONLY FEAR OF FUR HAS BEEN THAT OF IT FLYING IN CAT FIGHTS. I'VE BEEN REWARDED BY ACCESS TO DIFFERENCES IN FELINE FACES, FORMS AND FUNCTIONS. MY CATS HAVE WILLINGLY COMPROMISED THEIR FREEDOMS. WE HAVE FEARLESSLY RECIPROCATED FULL MEASURES OF DEVOTIONS AND AFFECTIONS

PERVERSION

PERVERSION, TO LEAD INTO MENTAL ERROR OR FALSE JUDGMENT, PERVADES OUR SOCIETY. WORLDWIDE, HUMANITY JUST CANNOT SHAKE IT; IT’S LIKE A BAD COLD THAT JUST HANGS ON. IT LEADS TO A MULTITUDE OF SINS. NOTE THE PERVERSIONS OF REWARD AND PUNISHMENT THAT HAVE LED TO SUICIDE BOMBINGS, MASS MURDERS AND DEVIANT CRIMES. NOTE THE LAWYERS WHO MISLEAD AND PERVERT FACTS TO BOLSTER THE SUCCESS OF THEIR CASE FOR JURORS IN THE 9/11 TERRORIST MOUSSAOUI'S TRIAL. NOTE THE MEDIA WHO ROUTINELY DESCRIBE CRIMES AS ALLEGED WHEN THEY ARE NOT. NOTE THE LEADERS OF IRAN AND NORTH KOREA WHO MANIPULATE WORLD POWERS AND LIE TO FURTHER THEIR EVIL AGENDAS. NOTE CERTAIN DEMOCRATS WHO ASSESS REPUBLICANS BY INTERNALIZED ERRORS IN JUDGMENT. THEIR PERVERTED NARRATIVE AND WILFUL IGNORANCE FACILITATE BLANKET ASSERTIONS THAT REPUBLICANS (CONSERVATIVES) ARE, AND I QUOTE AUTHOR JOE KLEIN, "RECKLESS, INCOMPETENT, COLD-HEARTED AND MINDLESSLY MILITARISTIC." SUCH CARELESS USE OF ADJECTIVES IS WORTHY ONLY OF A CHILD WHO FLUNKED HEAD START BECAUSE HIS OR HER INQUIRING MIND EMBRACED INACCURACIES AT THE EXPENSE OF DATA. BUT THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE; MOST CHILDREN WANT TO KNOW THE FACTS. NOT CERTAIN DEMOCRATS - THE PROGRESSIVES, THE LIBERALS, THE EXTREME LEFTISTS. THE PERVERTED PICTURE OF REPUBLICANS THEY PAINT, HANGS ASKEW ON A WALL IN AN UNLIT CORNER..

EASTER TALE

A TIME EXISTED WHEN A NEWSPAPER STOOD FOR SOMETHING. FOR EXAMPLE, THE CHICAGO TRIBUNE WAS REPUBLICAN; THE SUN-TIMES, DEMOCRAT. HOW HAS IT COME TO PASS THAT MY LOCAL COLUMBUS DISPATCH STANDS FOR NOTHING? IT CHOOSE TO OFFEND NO ONE. ITS EVERYDAY WATCHWORD (EXCEPT FOR ITS LEFTIST POLITICS) IS ‘DETACHED.’ TO PROVE IT, IT CHOSE TO PLACE ITS ULTIMATE CASE OF NOTHINGNESS ON THE FRONT PAGE OF EASTER SUNDAY'S NEWSPAPER. IS NO EDITOR ASHAMED? WELL, NO, BECAUSE THAT WOULD REQUIRE A JUDGMENT. I PROTESTED LAST YEAR TO THIS SAME PAPER ABOUT ITS AMORALITY ON RELIGIOUS OCCASIONS, SO THIS YEAR IT CONCEDED WITH A HAPPY EASTER LILY AS THE FRONT PAGE HEADING OF EASTER SUNDAY'S 'HOLIDAY' PAPER. BUT I ABANDONED HOPE WHEN IT PRINTED A PATHETIC STORY ABOUT A HOMELESS MAN TITLED "PATH TO REDEMPTION." THIS ARTICLE WAS BYLINED BY TWO 'GIRLY MEN.' THE TITLE, I PRESUME, WAS A DELIBERATE PLAY ON THE TRUE MESSAGE OF EASTER.

BUT THERE WAS NO ‘PATH’ BUT A LOSER'S PATH, NO ‘REDEMPTION’ FOR THE MAN PROFILED BECAUSE HE HAD NOT A CLUE TO SUCCESS IN LIFE - AND NEVER WOULD. EVERY STEP OF THIS HOMELESS-PERSON-WHO-LIVED-IN-A-TENT STORY TOLD HOW JIMMY FUMBLED HIS WAY. OVER THE YEARS, HE HAD BEEN ASSISTED BY BELIEVER'S IN CHRIST'S EARTHLY MESSAGE - TO FEED THE POOR, SHELTER THE HOMELESS, CARE FOR THE SICK AND CLOTHE THE NAKED, ETC. BUT THIS 'LOSER' JUST FUMBLED ON IN SPITE OF CHARITY AND ASSISTANCE FROM OTHERS. JIMMY SAID THAT IF HE WERE "OFF THE STREETS, INTO A DECENT ENVIRONMENT AND GOT SOME WORK" HE WOULD BE O.K." GIVE ME - NOT HIM- A BREAK. EACH OF HIS WISHES WERE AVAILABLE TO HIM TIME AND TIME AGAIN AND DUH! HE BLEW EACH OFF LIKE SMOKE, REPEATEDLY, UP TO THE AGE OF 40.

BUT TODD AND PETE - THE TWO FEMINIZED REPORTERS- AT LEAST GOT THE FRONT PAGE COVER PICTURE RIGHT. I SAW CLOSE UP AND PERSONAL THE FACE OF CHRIST, MIRRORED IN THE LOWEST OF THE LOW OF HIS HUMAN CREATIONS. DID THE TWO NON-JUDGMENTAL WRITERS INTEND THIS?

IF IT PLAYED FOR SYMPATHY, THIS TALE WORKED AS POORLY AS THE LAME METAPHOR OF THE LOST BIRD. THE AUTHORS CONCLUDE THEIR PIECE : "LIKE THE LOST FINCH, JIMMY NEEDS TO FIND HIS OWN WAY OUT. HE'S JUST NOT SURE HE'S READY TO FLY YET." HOW CAN HE? JIMMY'S 'NUTS.' FURTHERMORE, FROM THE AGE OF 14, HE PROBABLY NEVER GOT PROPER PARENTING. HE NEVER LEARNED RIGHT FROM WRONG. HE NEVER MADE A CORRECT CHOICE. HE CONSISTENTLY ACTED IRRESPONSIBLY. HE 'HAD IT ALL' INCLUDING A WIFE AND CHILDREN, AND THREW IT ALL AWAY. HIS SMOKING, DRIINKING AND PETTY CRIMES DIDN'T HELP. SOCIETY CAN'T FIX HIS LIFE. ONLY THE LOVING GOD I SAW PEEPING THROUGH THE PHOTO OF THIS POOR SOUL’S USELESSNESS, CAN GIVE JIMMY A FLIGHT HOME.

EASTER

EASTER IS
LOVE! IHS!
INRI! DIED
FOR SIN!
PAIN AND ANGUISH UNTO DETUMESCENT DEATH!
ALLELUIA! ALLELUIA! ALLELUIA! ALLELUIA!
HUMANITY
REVILED!
DIVINITY
REVEALED!
SADNESS
REPLACED!
ARISEN
FOR ME,
UNWORTHY!
ALLELUIA!

INTO HELL

"ALL HOPE ABANDON, YE WHO ENTER HERE." HELL, THAT IS, AS PERCEIVED BY DANTE IN HIS POETIC MASTERPIECE. THE DIVINE COMEDY. WHY THEN DID JESUS DESCEND INTO HELL AFTER HIS DEATH ON THE CROSS? GIVEN HIS EARTHLY MISSION, HOW COULD HE HAVE NOT? HIS 'VISIT' ESTABLISHED HOPE FOR THE REDEEMED AND OBLITERATED IT FOR THE DAMNED. BEFORE THE FULFILLMENT OF THE CRUCIFIXION, THE DECEASED WAITED IN THE UNDERWORLD, HADES, IN THE PLACE OF THOSE WHO HAD PASSED. WHEN JESUS ARRIVED, HE SENT THE RIGHTEOUS 'UP' TO THEIR HEAVENLY REWARD AND YES, THOSE HE KNEW TO BE EVIL, STAYED IN THEIR SELF-INFLICTED HELL. BUT STAY IS TOO RESTFUL A CONCEPT FOR THE DAMNED. WITHOUT HOPE, A SOUL WILL NEVER FIND ETERNAL REST.

MARTYDOM

SO YOU WANT TO BE A MARTYR, ZACARIAS? ACHIEVE THE PERFECT HAPPINESS? NO WAY JOSE! MAY I SUGGEST YOU PROCEED AS THE TRAITOR, JUDAS. GO HANG YOURSELF. NO WAY WILL AMERICA HANG WITH, PATRONIZE OR SUPPORT YOUR JIHAD AGAINST THE INFIDEL. YOUR AMOUR FOR THE CROSS OF MARTYRDOM BETRAYS AND DEFILES CHRISTIANITY'S LEGITIMACY AND WORTHY CAUSE. DEEP IS THE EVIL THAT THE DEVIL HAS INGRAINED IN YOU AND YOUR MISSION ON EARTH, (72 VIRGINS WILL NEVER BE PARCEL OUT TO YOU AS YOUR ULTIMATE REWARD) MR. MOUSSAOUI. HIGHER WILL THE CROSS BE RAISED AND THE ARMS OF ITS VICTIM OUTSTRETCHED TO COUNTERACT AND DEFEAT YOU, MR. MOUSSAOUI. GOD IS GOOD. GOD IS LIFE. GOD IS LOVE. GOD HAS NOT FORSAKEN US, THE REDEEMED, BECAUSE WE LOOK UPWARDS, NOT DOWN INTO YOUR VISION OF DESTRUCTION AND HELL.

CHRISM

FOR THOSE WHO HAVE NOT HEARD OF CHRISM, IT’S THE THURSDAY TO CONSIDER ITS EFFICACY - NOW OR NEVER. CHRISM, THE UNGUENT OF OIL AND BALM IS USED (AND HAS BEEN SINCE BIBLICAL TIMES) FOR SACRED, SACRAMENTAL ANOINTING. IT SYMBOLIZES HEALING, ENLIGHTENMENT AND STRENGTH. THESE THREE BENEFICES HAVE LITERALLY BEEN IN SHORT SUPPLY AS HUMANITY HAS MARCHED THROUGH THE CENTURIES. DITTO FOR TODAY. OUR SOCIETY'S VENEER SUFFERS FROM THE SCROFULOUS CONDITION OF WISHY-WASHY MORALITY. MOST PEOPLE COULD BENEFIT FROM AN OIL OF HEALING, ENLIGHTENMENT AND STRENGTH, INCLUDING THE FOLLOWERS OF THE GREEK ORTHODOX AND CATHOLIC CHURCHES WHO APPLY CHRISM. THIS NEED IS NOT NEW BECAUSE WOUNDS, IGNORANCE AND WEAKNESS IN HUMAN BEINGS, TEND TO RUN DEEP.

HITLER'S BIRTHDAY

APRIL 12TH MARKS ADOLPH HITLER'S BIRTHDAY AND THE DEATH OF FRANKLIN ROOSEVELT. APPROXIMATELY 50 YEARS AGO, SUICIDE FOR THE DICTATOR WAS DECREED BY HIS DEMENTED MIND; DEATH FOR THE PRESIDENT RESULTED FROM HIS ONGOING HEART DISEASE. ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY YEARS AGO, DEATH TO HUMANS FROM SLEEPING SICKNESS OR TO ANIMALS FROM NAGANA, WHICH IN ZULU MEANS "DEPRESSED AND LOW IN SPIRITS", ORIGINATED WITH THE TSETSE FLY OF SOUTHERN AFRICA. THE INSECT CARRIED TRYPANOSOMES WHICH BORED INTO THE BLOOD OF HUMANS AND ANIMALS WITH FATAL CONSEQUENCES. FORTUNATELY, EVOLUTION RENDERED MEN'S MINDS CURIOUS, AND SCIENTISTS HAVE PERENNIALLY OBSESSED ABOUT EXPLAINING DEATH FROM DISEASE IN SPITE OF THE HORROR, TERROR, UGLINESS, MESSINESS AND RISK. BUT THEN RISK IS INVOLVED IN EVERY GAME. HITLER RISKED THE FATHERLAND, GERMANY, AND LOST. ROOSEVELT WARRED TO WIN AGAINST HITLER AND WON. THE MICROBE HUNTERS HAZARDED THEIR LIVES AND FORTUNES TO FIRST EXPLAIN AND THEN CONQUER FATAL DISEASES LIKE NAGANA AND SLEEPING SICKNESS. IT IS POINTLESS TO COMPARE THE PICTURE OF THE HEALTH OF THE WORLD ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY YEARS AGO OR FIFTY YEARS AGO TO THAT OF TODAY. HAPPIER NOW ARE THE LIVES AND TIMES; MILLIONS MORE ARE THE HAPPY BIRTHDAYS THAT WILL BE SUNG.

GREEN CHILE ROLL-UPS

I SPIED A $1.15 CAN OF GREEN CHILE SAUCE ON A WAL-MART GROCERY SHELF. "MMM,." A MEMORY OF $.39 CANS OF THAT SWEET, YUMMY LIQUID PURCHASED FROM MY LOCAL BIG LOTS (BEFORE ITS DEMISE) FLOATED BACK TO ME. THOSE BARGAINS WERE GONE (NOT GOOD), BUT MY TASTE BUDS HAD NOT FORGOTTEN. SO I SPLURGED. A RECIPE ON THE CAN DESCRIBED THE PREPARATION OF ENCHILADAS. OF COURSE, I WOULD ALTER IT TO SUIT MY CHEAP SHOPPING STYE, BUT THE RESULT WOULD BE RICH IN FLAVOR AND WELL WORTH MY SMILE. BESIDES I KNOW THAT AN ENCHILADA IS JUST A TORTILLA ROLLED UP. THE CREAM CHEESE INGREDIENT COULD BE REPLACED BY DOLLAR TREE'S 4 OZ. WHEEL OF GRUYERE FOR $1.00. GREEN CHILES COULD BE SKIPPED. ALDI COULD PROVIDE 10 FLOUR TORTILLAS FOR $.69 (INSTEAD OF OLD EL PASO BRAND), 1 LB. OF SHREDDED CHEDDAR FOR $2.49 AND THE INCOMPARABLE (I KID YOU NOT) 3 LB. OF SKINLESS, BONELESS CHICKEN BREASTS (WITH WATER ADDED) FOR AN (I KNOW) OUTRAGEOUS $6.99. ALL THINGS CONSIDERED, CREATING ENCHILADAS FOR 2 WOULD BE A CHEAP FIX. MOST OF THE INGREDIENTS WOULD HARDLY BE DIMINISHED, SO THEY WOULD SURVIVE TO BE SERVED ON OTHER OCCASIONS.

AFTER I STIR FRY STRIPS OF JUST 1 CHICKEN BREAST AND I MELT JUST 2 WEDGES OF CHEESE (WITH A BIT OF MARGARINE AND MILK ADDED), I ROLL-UP THE CHICKEN-CHEESE INTO 2 TORTILLAS AND PLACE THEM IN A PYREX DISH. I COVER THEM WITH HALF OF THE CAN OF THE SWEET, GREEN SAUCE AND SPRINKLE THEM WITH THE YELLOW SHREDS. I POP THE MEAL, NOT INTO THE OVEN AS SUGGESTED, BUT INTO MY MICROWAVE TO HEAT. NOTE THAT I HAVE ONCE AGAIN NOT SLAVISHLY FOLLOWED A RECIPE. WHO SAYS COOKING GREAT STUFF CAN'T BE QUICK...EASY...ENERGY EFFICIENT...AND...CHEAP?

SPRING

WHEE! THE WINTER'S PAST,
WARM, BRIGHT SUN AT LAST.
WORDS FROM SOLOMON'S SONG
APT. "... FLOWERS APPEAR ON THE EARTH;
...TIME OF THE SINGING OF BIRDS IS COME."
TIME FOR MY ROLL IN THE GRASS.
TIME TO CONFIGURE MYSELF BELLY UP,
FLAIL MY LEGS, THEN BASK.
I DON'T ASK WHY I'M BLESSED
WITH A LIBERATED LIFESTYLE,
NOT PENT IN A MESHED PEN
LIKE MY BLACK, HAIRY NEIGHBOR
WHO BARKS INFERNALLY
FROM ANOTHER HUMAN'S PLACE.
IF I CHOOSE, I CAN WATCH
A BUSY, SPECKLED STARLING
BUILD A FORMAL NEST
IN A CAVITY OF A NEARBY TREE.
NO LIMITS TO WHAT I MAY SPY.
YET NOT A DAY GOES BY, I DON'T
WONDER ABOUT CRUELTY.

WITNESS

LATE SATURDAY AFTERNOON I WITNESSED A NEAR -PERFECT TABLEAU IN LINEAR PERSPECTIVE. WHAT FIRST ARRESTED MY EYES, LIT BY DIFFUSED SUNLIGHT THROUGH STAINED GLASS AND CENTER STAGE ON A GOLDEN OAK FLOOR, WAS A HUGE, GORGEOUS SPRAY OF CARDINAL-RED CARNATIONS INTERSPERSED WITH GREENERY. BEHIND IT AND SLIGHTLY UPSTAGE A FEW FEET WAS THE SCARLET BROCADE ALTAR CLOTH. NEXT, CENTERED BEHIND THE ALTAR STOOD THE PRIEST WEARING HIS MATCHING RED BROCADE CHASUBLE. BEHIND HIM, FOURTH IN LINE, WITH A CORRESPONDING FIERY COVER, RESTING ON ITS PLATFORM, WAS THE TABERNACLE, CONTAINING THE PYX. SLIGHTLY ABOVE IT, HANGING FLUSH UPON THE WALL, THE FINAL FIGURE IN THE CARMINE TABLEAU WAS THE CROSS HIDDEN BEHIND A WINE-COLORED CLOTH, THE OUTLINE OF WHICH FROM A DISTANCE SLIGHTLY RESEMBLED A HEART. BUT SOMETHING WAS MISSING FROM THIS SANGUINE PASSION SUNDAY PRESENTATION. IT WAS THE SOMETHING I IMAGINED, FLOATING HIGHER AND OBTRUSIVE ABOVE THE CROSS - THE SACRED HEART OF JESUS AFLAME. IT SEEMED AS APPLICABLE TO ME AS TO THE VIEWERS OF AN ICONIC, MEDIEVAL PAINTING. FLOWERS, ALTAR, PRIEST, TABERNACLE, CROSS AND A LOVING HEART - WHAT BETTER PERSPECTIVE IS THERE ON THE TELEOLOGY OF EASTER'S REDEMPTION

BACKWARDS

ANY CONFLICT FOUGHT ON U.S. SOIL THAT ACHIEVED A VICTORY WOULD APPEAL TO MY INVESTIGATIVE MIND, BUT THE SUBJECT REMINDS ME OF ANOTHER WAR THAT AMERICA HAS LOST - OR IS STILL LOSING - THAT IS, THE BATTLE OVER THE DEATH PENALTY. AGAIN TODAY I READ THAT A POLITICIAN RUNNING FOR OFFICE EXPRESSES HIS "PRO LIFE" STAND AGAINST THE DEATH PENALTY. I STILL STAND FAST IN MY BELIEF THAT IF ONE IS "PRO LIFE" ONE MUST, PERFORCE, SUPPORT CAPITAL PUNISHMENT. HOW CAN A PERSON BE "PRO LIFE" AND NOT ACKNOWLEDGE THAT EVIL PEOPLE WHO KILL INNOCENTS ARE "AGAINST LIFE?" THAT CAPITAL PUNISHMENT IS ORDERED? I DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW THE LATE, GREAT POPE JOHN PAUL II PUT THE CART OF HUMANITARIANISM BEFORE THE HORSE OF JUSTICE. THE VICTIM SHOUTS FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE THAT HIS OR HER LIFE HAS BEEN FORFEITED BY A MURDERER WHO DOES NOT RESPECT LIFE. ONLY BY PUNISHING THE GUILT, YES, THE ONE WHO HAS SINNED AGAINST LIFE, CAN THE SANCTITY OF LIFE BE VALIDATED AND CHAMPIONED. A "PRO LIFE" PRINCIPLE NATURALLY BEGINS AT CONCEPTION AND NATURALLY SUPPORTS LIFE, BUT THOSE WHO DESECRATE LIFE INITIATE THEIR OWN PUNISHMENT AND THOSE VICTIMS WHO HAVE HAD THEIR LIVES DESECRATED CRY OUT FOR JUSTICE. IF A VICTIM'S RIGHT TO LIFE COMES FIRST, THEN THE PUNISHMENT FOR TAKING THAT LIFE FOLLOWS. IF NOT, THE CART HAS BEEN PLA THE TITLE OF A NEW BOOK I SPIED ON THE LIBRARY'S SHELF READ, THE WAR THAT WON AMERICA. CED BEFORE THE HORSE. WHAT A HORSE-LAUGH FOR THE DEVIL.

WHERE'S WALDO

WHERE'S WALDO? NOT THE CARTOON WALDO WHO’S ALWAYS LOST IN A CROWD AND NOT PETER WALDO, THE FRENCH RELIGIOUS PHILOSOPHER WHO WAS DECLARED A HERETIC, BUT ANY REFORMER FOR TODAY'S IRRELIGIOUS AND FOUNDERING DEMOCRAT PARTY. THE DEMOCRATS, LIBERALS, LEFTISTS OR PROGRESSIVES - WHICHEVER TERM SUITS THEIR NEGATIVITY BEST - COULD SURELY USE A VISIONARY LIKE THE FUNDAMENTALIST PHILOSOPHER WALDO. NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR THEM TO SKI DOWN A SLALOM OF PESSIMISM IN AMERICA. NOW IS THE MOMENT TO PRESENT A HOPEFUL VIEW, BUT NO PERSON OR BODY OF THOUGHT EXISTS TO REPLACE THE WHINING OF THE PROGRESSIVES. TO FILL THE ‘YELLECTUAL’ VOID, TWO QUALIFIED WORLD WAR II LIGHTS, PENETRATING THE DARKNESS OF WAR, COME TO MIND. FRANKLIN D. ROOSEVELT, THOUGH PHYSICALLY HANDICAPPED, TALKED ABOUT A LINE THAT MOVED "FOREVER UPWARD." WINSTON CHURCHILL, CRITICIZED AND EVENTUALLY VOTED OUT OF POWER BY HIS BRITISH PUBLIC, PREACHED ABOUT "BROAD, SUNLIT UPLANDS." "UP MAN, UP WOMAN, UP BROTHER, UP SISTER, LOOK UP YOU DOWNTRODDEN," THE LIBERALS SHOULD BE CHANTING. "HERE ARE OUR SUGGESTIONS FOR ADVANCING AMERICA." THE FIRST PROBLEM, HOWEVER, IS THAT THEY LACK THE OPTIMISM OR IDEALISM THAT ALLOWS WINNERS TO LOOK UPWARD AND INTO A NARNIAN FUTURE.

EXAMINATION OF CONSCIENCE

WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY? A 12 YR. OLD HAVING SEX 28 TIMES IN ONE WEEK WITH A 30 SOMETHING TEACHER. WHAT'S RIGHT WITH THIS COUNTRY? AN EASTER EGG HUNT FOR 2 TO 12 YEAR OLDS DIVIDED INTO 5 AGE BRACKETS. THE FORMER, OF COURSE, IS A GUILT-LADEN SCENARIO AND THE LATTER A GUILTLESS ONE. HOW DO WE FIX WHAT HAS GONE SO WRONG WITH THE MORAL DICHOTOMY IN OUR SOCIETY WHICH BOTH SPURNS AND ENCOURAGES GUILTLY HEDONISM? MY SUGGESTION IS TO RE-INSTALL MORALITY INTO THE DEFINITION OF GUILT. BECAUSE OF AMERICA'S FIXATION WITH 'GRIEVANCE NARRATIVES' AND GUILT, SOMEONE MUST ALWAYS BE FOUND GUILTY, SOMEONE MUST ALWAYS PAY. RARELY, HOWEVER, DO THE GUILTY ADMIT THEY ARE GUILTY OR DO THE GUILTY PAY. GREAT BRITAIN IS FOREMOST AMONG THE GUILT-RIDDEN NATIONS, YET IT HAS VIRTUALLY ABANDONED CHURCH-GOING AND MORALITY. MY SOLUTION THEN, LIES DOWN THE OPPOSITE ROAD THAT ENGLAND HAS MARCHED. IN THE RUSSIAN NOVELIST FEODOR DOSTOEVSKI'S NOVEL "CRIME AND PUNISHMENT," GUILT ORIGINIATED FROM CONSCIENCE. CONSCIENCE SHAPES INDIVIDUALS' RESPONSIBILITIES. AMERICANS (AND BY EXTENSION OUR CULTURE) NEED A THOROUGH EXAMINATION OF CONSCIENCE.

ARMISTICE

APRIL 9TH, 1865 ENDED A GREAT WAR- THE AMERICAN CIVIL WAR. APRIL 5TH, 2006 ENDED MY GREAT STRUGGLE. MY SURRENDER REEKED OF THE EMBARRASSMENT OF A RELUCTANT AND UNSATISFACTORY CESSATION. A VERITABLE CAPITULATION TO OVERWHELMING ODDS. HAVING BEEN UNDER SEIGE FROM THE ACHE OF TENDONITIS ON MY KNEE FOR 6 MONTHS, HAVING ENDURED THE WITHERING FIRE FROM MY AVENGING DEMON, HAVING EXPERIENCED A PROVERBIAL 'DARK NIGHT OF MY SOUL,' I BOWED TO AN ARMISTICE WITH MY ENEMY. THOUGH I CURSED LIKE THE VICTIM IN EDGAR ALLAN POE'S POEM "THE RAVEN," AND PLEADED TO THE DEVIL OF MY PAIN TO "TAKE THY BEAK FROM OUT MY HEART, AND TAKE THY FORM FROM OFF MY DOOR!" I STILL HEARD MY RAVEN CROAK "NEVERMORE." THOUGH I TRIED TO SPIT BACK MY DEFIANT "NEVERMORE," I COULD ONLY MUMBLE A SUBMISSIVE, "WHATEVER, EVERMORE." MY WAR ENDED; NO RECONSTRUCTION HAS BEGUN.

EXORCISM

THERE IS NOTHING LIKE LISTENING TO THE REASONINGS OF AN ATHEIST TO CONVINCE THE LISTENER OF THE EXISTENCE OF GOD. I HEARD A NON-BELIEVER RECENTLY PROCLAIM THAT A NEW WORD, A "BRIGHT", IS NOW BEING USED TO IDENTIFY AN ATHEIST. HOW IRONIC SINCE ATHEISTS ARE SO TOTALLY IN THE DARK. GOD MUST EXIST BECAUSE OF THE SADNESS I FELT FOR THE LOSS OF SO INSIGNIFICANT A BEING AS THE DEAD MINK I ENCOUNTERED BESIDE THE HIGHWAY. GOD MUST EXIST BECAUSE OF THE HATRED I FEEL FOR MY EVIL AFFLICTION OF TENDONITIS OF THE KNEE WHICH OBVIOUSLY NEEDS AN EXORCISM. AS THE WRITER AND APOLOGIST C.S. LEWIS CONCLUDED, LONGING UNDERLIES THE MYSTERIES OF LIFE. I LONG TO ENCOUNTER THE CREATER OF THAT LOWLY, LOVELY MAMMAL; I ACHE TO WALK A SUNNY WALK WITHOUT PAIN. AN ATHEIST WOULD NEVER HAVE SUCH DESIRES FULFILLED.

BEST KEPT SECRET

WHAT IS AMERICA'S BEST KEPT SECRET AND BEST CONSUMER BARGAIN? A FREE LIBRARY CARD. FOR ZILCH, THE PUBLIC MAY 'TAP' INTO TAPES, CD'S, FILMS, AUDIO BOOKS, COMPUTERS, COPIERS, CHILDREN'S AND ADULT ACTIVITIES, BOOK SALES AND BOOK SIGNINGS. AMERICANS MAY SHOP THROUGH PRINT SOURCES - BOOKS, PERIODICALS AND NEWSPAPERS. THE OEUVRE OF THE BEST AND BRIGHTEST THAT THE WORLD HAS HAD TO OFFER IS AVAILABLE FOR THE PRESENTATION OF A COMPUTERIZED SQUARE OF PLASTIC AND THE PRESENCE OF A HUNGRY MIND. A REPLACEMENT - FOR A LOST CARD- COSTS ONLY $1.00. WOULD THAT MORE AMERICANS' MINDS WERE UNCONCERNED WITH OVERSIGHT ISSUES, WERE INSECURE ABOUT THE SUFFICIENCY OF THEIR INFORMATION AND WERE EAGER TO TAKE ON THE LITERARY CHALLENGES OF THE AGES. NO TRAVEL OR RECREATIONAL BUDGETS WOULD BE NECESSARY. NO BOREDOM FACTOR WOULD BE RELEVANT IN SOCIETY. NO MAN OR WOMAN WOULD BE LESS A PERSON HAVING BREATHED ANOTHER DAY'S WORTH OF HIS OR HER TRANSITORY AIR ON EARTH.

NO WORLDLY FOOL

TODAY MARKS THE ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF THE DEATH OF POPE JOHN PAUL II, A MAN WHO WAS NO WORLDLY FOOL. HIS WAS A LIFE, UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL WITH HIS GOD, HIS GOD'S MOTHER AND HIS GOD'S CHURCH. ALL THREE WERE TRANSMOGRIFIED THROUGH OUR LATE, GREAT PONTIFF. HOW THEN COULD SO MANY MORTAL FOOLS VILIFY OR MISINTERPRET SO TRANSPARENT A SAINT? THEY HAVE NOT BEEN GRACED WITH SECRET OF JOHN PAUL II WHICH HANGS SOMEWHERE IN THE BALANCE OF A CROSS AT GOLGOTHA OVER 2000 YEARS AGO. FOR THE ENLIGHTENED, REDEMPTION WILL BE COMMEMORATED ANEW THIS UPCOMING EASTER SUNDAY.

NO APRIL FOOL

A BOOK WILL BE PUBLISHED LATER THIS YEAR TITLED "THE THRILL OF THE CHASTE," BY MISS DAWN EDEN. ARE WE KIDDING? AN UNMARRIED WOMAN NAMED DAWN - AS IN A NEW DAY - AND SURNAMED EDEN - AS IN THE ORIGINIAL AND UNTOUCHED WORLD - DISCUSSING VIRGINITY? OR WILL SHE?
I WILL. AMERICANS SHOULD STAND UNITED FOR CHASTITY BEFORE MARRIAGE OR AS A RESPONSIBLE CHOICE IN THE SINGLE OR RELIGIOUS LIFE. ENOUGH POOH-POOHING THIS VIRTUE AS IF IT WERE IMPOSSIBLE OR DETRACTS FROM SELF-WORTH, PERSONAL FULFILLMENT OR PEACE OF MIND. THE CONTRARY HOLDS TRUE. IT NEED NOT DEFEAT ADOLESCENCTS. THE DEFEATIST ATTITUDE ITSELF, LIKE FEAR, WHICH FORMER PRESIDENT FRANKLIN ROOSEVELT REJECTED DURING THE DEPRESSION, IS THE ONLY THING TO BE FEARED. THE DISABILITY OF SEXUAL REPRESSION DOES NOT NECESSARILY CHARACTERIZE YOUTH. THE THRILL OF THE HUNT FOR A MATE WOULD NOT BE LOST IF CHASTITY WERE MAINTAINED. INSTEAD, PURITY OF FORM WOULD BE PRESERVED. COMMITMENT TO THIS PRINCIPLE WOULD NOT BE DIFFICULT WITH A MIND SET AGAINST ITS VIOLATION. INDIVIDUALS REJECT LIVER, BROCCOLI, SPEEDING, SMOKING OR A SOME THING SIMILARLY ODIOUS BECAUSE IT IS ABHORRED. IF THE FIRST STEP INVOLVES COMMITMENT TO THE IDEA, THE SECOND STEP IS TO AVOID PEOPLE AND PLACES THAT PROVIDE TEMPTATIONS. THE GOOD WALK FORWARD WILL NOT BE SPOILED (AS JOHN FEINSTEIN SAID ABOUT GOLF). THE REWARD FOR CHASTITY CAN ONLY BE ATTESTED TO BY THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN THERE, DONE THAT. BY THOSE HAPPY COUPLES WHO HAVE NEVER REGRETTED THEIR CHOICES, ARE PROUD OF THEM AND HAVE DERIVED LIFE-LONG SATISFACTION (SEXUAL AND SPIRITUAL) FROM THEM. NO APRIL FOOL'S JOKE- THIS CALL FOR VIRGINITY BEFORE MARRIAGE. COMMITTMENT IN MARRIAGE IS NO JOKE EITHER.