UNCOMMON CENTS 51

NEW YEAR'S EVE - TIME TO PARTY AND DRINK RESPONSIBLY. OR NOT IMBIBE AT ALL. IF NECTAR, HOWEVER, WAS GOOD ENOUGH FOR THE GODS, IT SURELY SHOULD BE COVETED BY MORTALS. MAN ALSO SHOULD SWEAR ALLEGANCE TO BUT NOT DEPENDENCE UPON HIS MAN-MADE GOD OF GOVERNMENT. ENTER A PERSONAL RETIREMENT STRATEGY THAT WILL MERIT YOU A PROUD BURIAL SPOT IN THE ELYSIAN FIELDS. SOCIAL SECURITY WAS NEVER MEANT TO BE YOUR SOLE SUPPORT IN SENIOR YEARS. BLESSED WITH A BRAIN SUPERIOR TO THE ANIMALS BUT INFERIOR TO THE GODS, YOU CAN EXCEED A FOOLISH MAN'S GRASP WHEN YOU SAVE AND INVEST FOR YOURSELF. HERE'S HOW. A LOW WAGE WORKER INVESTING 10% OF HIS PAYCHECK INTO A SIMPLE PORTFOLIO OF 70% STOCKS AND 30% BONDS (WITH MINIMAL ADMINISTRATIVE COSTS), AFTER 45 YEARS OF INPUT, WILL REAP AN ANNUAL BENEFIT OF APPROXIMATELY $17,000. PRACTICALLY SPEAKING, WHY CAN'T YOU LIVE ON $1240 A MONTH WITHOUT PLEADING POVERTY? AN AVERAGE WAGE WORKER COULD RELY ON $39,000 OR ABOUT $3200 A MONTH. TODAY'S HIGH WAGE WORKER ON $94,000 OR AN INCOME OF $7800 A MONTH. I'LL DRINK TO THAT.

CONTRAST THIS WITH THE GUARANTEED SOCIAL SECURITY BENEFITS OF THE THREE CATEGORIES OF WAGE EARNERS: APPROXIMATELY $780, $1260 AND $1900 RESPECTIVELY. CAN YOU TOAST $780 A MONTH? I DON'T THINK SO. OBVIOUSLY IT MOST IMPORTANT FOR A LOW WAGE EARNER TO BEGIN TO SAVE AND INVEST AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, BECAUSE 10% OF A BARE BONES PAYCHECK OF - SAY - $300. A WEEK ONLY ALLOWS FOR A $30 INVESTMENT. YET SETTING ASIDE $30.00 A WEEK FOR YOUR FUTURE INSTEAD OF GAMBLING IT AWAY ON LOTTERY TICKETS, POKER CHIPS OR SLOT MACHINES WOULD GET YOU A BLESSING FROM THE GODS.

HINT: SING A VERSE OF AULD LANG SYNE TO YOUR OLD, LONG AND PAID FOR RETIREMENT.

UNCOMMON CENTS 52

WHY NOT START THE YEAR BY TAKING GOOD ADVICE TO CONTRIBUTE TO YOUR IRA AT THE START OF THE 2007? THE EARLIER YOU MAKE YOUR ANNUAL CONTRIBUTION, THE MORE TIME YOUR IRA HAS FOR POTENTIAL COMPOUNDING AND POTENTIAL TAX-DEFERRED GROWTH. IT ALSO WILL MAKE A SIGNIFICANT DIFFERENCE OVER TIME. BEGIN TO MAKE YOUR ANNUAL CONTRIBUTION NOW AND MAX IT OUT TO $4000 BY THE END OF THE YEAR. DO NOT WAIT UNTIL THE DEADLINE OF APRIL TAX FILING TIME. IF YOUR BEGIN THIS HABIT NOW, SAY AT 35, WITH A CONSERVATIVE 7% RATE OF RETURN, AFTER 30 YEARS, YOU WILL BENEFIT FROM $45,000 MORE PER YEAR. AFTER 30 YEARS YOUR TOTAL RETURN WOULD BE $540,000 RATHER THAN $495,000. A SIMPLE CHOICE OF EARLY OVER LATE INVESTING EARNS YOU EXTRA CASH AT RETIREMENT.

WHY NOT START THE YEAR BY RESOLVING TO CONTRIBUTE THE MAXIMUM TO YOUR IRA BEGINNING WITH YOUR FIRST INSTALLMENT IN JANUARY?

HINT: IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO CHANGE BEHAVIOR.

UNCOMMON CENTS 51

YOUR NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION? ARE YOU IRRESOLUTE ABOUT HOW TO CONSERVE YOUR NATURAL RESOURCE, MONEY? FORGET ABOUT DISHING OUT YOUR MONEY TO PATRONIZE OVER-RATED AND OVER-PRICED STARS LIKE THE ROLLING STONES, BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN, MADONNA, KATE MOSS, PARIS HILTON OR BARBRA STREISAND AND INVEST IN THE U.S. STOCK MARKET. IT'S THE PERENNIAL UNDER-PRICED AND UNDER-RATED RISING STAR. THE 10 YEAR U.S. TREASURY BOND ONLY YIELDED 2% IN 2006, BUT THE U.S. STOCK MARKET MADE DOUBLE DIGIT ADVANCES. THE DJIA, DOW JONES INDUSTRIAL AVERAGE, ASCENDED 17% AND THE S & P 500, THE STANDARD AND POOR'S INDEX OF 500 STOCKS, ROSE 14%. TO DEMONSTRATE THESE PERCENTAGES, A DISCOUNT OF 14% FROM A $100.00 CONCERT TICKET AMOUNTS TO $14.00. A BONUS OF 17% FROM YOUR WEEKLY PAYCHECK OF $400, WOULD AMOUNT TO $68.00. AN INVESTMENT OF $3000 IN ANY U.S. MUTUAL FUND IN 2006 WOULD HAVE REAPED AT LEAST A 10% OR $300.00 AWARD.

OF COURSE, A PROFIT OF $300 FROM A YEAR OF INVESTING COULD PURCHASE A MOTORIZED 4-WHEELER FOR AN 8 OR A 6 YR OLD FOR CHRISTMAS. IT COULD PURCHASE 13 MEALS AT APPLEBEES'S OR 30 AT CHILI'S OR 38 AT OUTBACK STEAKHOUSE OR 19 AT RED LOBSTER. $300.00 COULD FEED 4 PERSONS DINNER AT MAGIC KINGDOM, 7 LUNCH AT EPCOT CENTER, ALMOST 3 PERSONS A MEAL AT ANIMAL KINGDOM LODGE OR 2 A FEAST WHILE ONE SNACKS ON THE LEFTOVERS AT DOWNTOWN DISNEY. YOU COULD FOLLOW MANY TYPICAL AMERICANS WHOSE EGOS WOULD JUSTIFY THESE CHOICES TO BRING ON THE PLATES!

BUT - FOR YOUR NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION, FORGET THE WEIGHT LOSS DREAM FOR THE UMPTEENTH TIME IN A ROW AND IMPLEMENT A PLAN TO GET FATTER ON STOCK MARKET GAINS. DON'T LET YOUR DISCRETIONARY INCOME EAT UP YOUR FUTURE. DISCRETIONARY INCOME IS JUST THAT, INCOME SPENT AT THE DISCRETION OF ITS INHERITOR.

HINT: WHAT KIND OF STEWARD WILL YOU BE WITH YOUR MONEY?

UNCOMMON CENTS 50

PROMISES, PROMISES, NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS. IF YOU COUNT ON THE PROMISE OF SOCIAL SECURITY TO MAKE YOUR RETIREMENT DREAMS COME TRUE, YOU WILL NEED TO MODIFY THE CONTENT AND CHARACTER OF YOUR DREAMS. THEY MIGHT EVEN BECOME NIGHTMARES. THE REWARDS OF A LONG TERM (45 YEARS) PERSONAL RETIREMENT ACCOUNT, HOWEVER, WILL BE GREATER THAN YOUR WILDEST DREAMS. WHETHER A LOW, AVERAGE OR HIGH WAGE EARNER, THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE ANNUAL SOCIAL SECURITY BENEFIT AND A PERSONAL ACCOUNT IS DRAMATIC. APPROXIMATELY 2 TIMES FOR A LOW WAGE, ALMOST 3 TIMES FOR AN AVERAGE AND NEAR 5 TIMES FOR A HIGH WAGE WORKER UPON RETIREMENT. WOW!

HOW WILL YOU FEED YOUR SELF ESTEEM IF YOU SPEND YOUR DISCRETIONARY INCOME INSTEAD OF INVESTING IT? IF YOU COUNT ON YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY DEDUCTIONS (AND/OR YOUR COMPANY PENSION) YOUR GOLDEN YEARS MAY INSTEAD BE LEADEN. FOR GOODNESS SAKE, YOU DON'T WANT TO LET YOUR POCKETBOOK FINANCE THE MEDIA EMPIRE OR THE ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY. REMEMBER, STEVIE WONDER -OVER-RATED AND OVER-PAID. REMEMBER, DISNEY THEME PARKS - OVER-RATED AND OVER-PAID. REMEMBER, FRANCHISED RESTAURANT CHAINS - OVER-RATED AND OVER-PAID. REMEMBER, YOUR POCKETBOOK OVER-PAYS FOR AND YOUR EGO OVER-RATES TRANSITORY EXPERIENCES THAT DRAIN YOUR RESOURCES AND DEPRIVE YOU FROM A GENUINE SATISFACTION GAINED FROM RALPH WALDO EMERSON'S CHAMPION VIRTUE, SELF-RELIANCE.

HINT: PROMISE YOURSELF A BRIGHT FUTURE.

UNCOMMON CENTS 49

THE PASSING OF ANOTHER OVER-RATED AND OVER-PAID ENTERTAINER REMINDS ME OF THE SCANDAL OF FINANCIAL IRRESPONSIBILITY. WHOSE MONEY FOR RECORDS, TAPES, CD'S, DVD'S AND CONCERTS SUPPORTED THE SOUL LEGEND, JAMES BROWN? ALSO, IN AN UNRELATED ISSUE, WHOSE ACCOUNTS RECEIVABLE WILL BE IRRESPONSIBLY ABUSED BY HOTEL AND CASINO, HARRAH'S, IN LAS VEGAS WHEN THE ENTERTAINMENT COMPANY'S DEBT IS NOW 8 TIMES ITS CASH FLOW?

THE CREDITORS OF COURSE. COMMON CITIZENS ARE ALSO LOSERS WHEN UNFORTUNATELY, THEY USUALLY SPEND BEYOND THEIR MEANS ON ENTERTAINMENT FOR INSTANT GRATIFICATION RATHER THAN SAVING AND INVESTING FOR FUTURE ENJOYMENTS.

THIS PAST YEAR, THE REAL AVERAGE WAGE FOR EMPLOYEES INCREASED BY 2.8%, ABOUT $1200.00 OF PURCHASING POWER PER HOUSEHOLD. WAS THIS BONUS PUT ASIDE? NO WAY. EXPENSES RISE TO MEET INCOME EVEN THOUGH THEY ARE UNNECESSARY AND ENTERTAINMENT DRIVEN. THIS CHRISTMAS, AMERICANS BOUGHT $600.00 PLAY STATION 3 COMPUTER GAMES FOR CHILDREN AS YOUNG AS 6 AND $150.00 KID-TOUGH DIGITAL CAMERAS FOR 3 YEAR OLDS. HOW MANY TIMES? TOO MANY TIMES. TOO FEW AMERICANS INVESTED EXTRA CASH RATHER THAN TRASHED IT FOR TRANSITORY PLEASURES. AND COMPUTER GAMES AND CAMERAS QUALIFY AS TRANSITORY PLEASURES.

THIS WAGE INCREASE PROBABLY ACCOUNTED FOR SOME HOUSEHOLDS ACQUIRING A NEW PET THIS CHRISTMAS. ADVICE FROM EXPERTS SHOULD BE IGNORED WHEN THEY SUGGEST BUYING 'PREMIUM' FOODS AND INSURANCE FOR HEALTH CARE COSTS AND SAVING FOR 'END-OF-LIFE EXPENSES. THE BETTER ADVICE WOULD BE TO PAY YOURSELVES FIRST BEFORE YOUR DOG OR CAT.

YOUR RETIREMENT NOT THEIRS IS ON A HORIZON FARTHER AND FURTHER AWAY THAN A BELOVED PET'S. PETS ARE KNOWN FOR ANIMAL INTEGRITY. WHY NOT PATTERN THEM BY SHOWING FINANCIAL SELF-SUFFICIENCY AND SPEND WITHIN THE BOUNDS OF COMMON SENSE?

HINT: MAN'S BEST FRIEND (AND WOMAN'S) IS HIS COMMON SENSE.

UNCOMMON CENTS 48

HEARING PENNY LANE SUNG BY THE BEATLES, I WONDER WHY THEY MADE SUCH A FORTUNE ON A SONG MARKED WITH LESS THAN A PENNY'S WORTH OF MUSICAL THOUGHT? BEING OVER-RATED AND OVER-PAID WAS A CONDITION WHICH EVENTUALLY OVERWHELMED THE BEATLES. UNFORTUNATELY IT DOES NOT COME NATURALLY TO THE COMMON CITIZEN BECAUSE DOING THE RIGHT THING BY PAYING YOUR OWN WAY TAKES TALENT AND TIME.

HOW HARD IS IT TO AVOID THE TASTES OF THE WORSHIPFUL MASSES? PRETTY EASY IF THE WORDS OF JOHN F. KENNEDY ARE KEPT FOREMOST IN YOUR MIND. OUR ASSASSINATED EX-PRESIDENT EXPRESSED THE SENTIMENT THAT ECONOMIC FREEDOM IS NOT AN END IN ITSELF. ITS GOAL IS TO LIBERATE INDIVIDUALS TO EXPAND AND PURSUE THEIR RIGHT TO HAPPINESS. PRESIDENT KENNEDY WOULD HAVE AGREED THAT THE FREE MARKETPLACE PROVIDES THE FRAMEWORK FOR SELF-SUFFICIENCY AND THE ACCUMULATION OF WEALTH - ONE HUNDRED PENNIES AT A TIME.

BEING A FAN OF THE BEATLES, THEREFORE, IS A USELESS ENDEAVOR IF YOU THINK THAT WISHING TO BE RICH AND/OR FAMOUS WILL MAKE IT SO. YOU MUST EXERCISE PERSONAL DECISIONS EACH DAY ABOUT YOUR EXPENDITURES. THIS WILL MAKE YOU A STAR IN YOUR OWN RIGHT. THE BEATLES WERE MUSICAL ENTREPRENEURS - THOUGH UNAPPRECIATED BY ME. RATHER THAN ENVY THEIR WEALTH, BUILT YOUR OWN NEST EGG BY SAVING YOUR PENNIES AND NOT PATRONIZING POPULAR PERFORMERS AT CONCERTS, ON MUSIC TOURS OR AT LIMITED ENGAGEMENTS. YOU MAKE THEM RICH AND FAMOUS AS YOU LOSE $100.00 THAT COULD BE YOUR MONTHLY DONATION INTO AN INVESTMENT FUND.

HINT: MAKE YOUR SAVINGS SOMETHING TO SING ABOUT.

UNCOMMON CENTS 48

WHEN HE INCARNATED FOR REDEMPTION
THE BABY NEVER HEARD OF SANTA CLAUS,
OF PREPOSTEROUSLY PRICED PRESENTS
OF PERSONALITIES THAT BREAK HEARTS.
JUST THE IDEA OF LOVE WAS BEGOTTEN,
JUST THE USELESS GIFTS ARE FORGIVEN,
THE CHILD'S DELIGHT A MEANING TAKEN,
WHEN THE KING OF HEAVEN CAME TO EARTH.

HINT: IT'S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS ON CHRISTMAS.

UNCOMMON CENTS 47

ON THE VIGIL OF CHRISTMAS
FOR FREEDOM FROM WANT
I GIVE THANKS - WANT OF
LOVE, WANT OF MONEY,
WANT OF GOOD, WANT OF A
GOOD MAN. JESUS, CHILD,
MAN, GOD, THANKS I GIVE
FOR MY CHRISTMAS GIFT
OF ETERNAL LOVE.

HINT: COUNT YOUR RICHES

UNCOMMON CENTS 46

HAPPINESS IS THE GOAL OF MORAL ACTION ACCORDING TO ARISTOTLE, BUT WHAT CONSTITUTES MORAL ACTION - OWNING A HOME OR RENTING AN APARTMENT WHERE NO EQUITY IS BUILT UP? WHAT ABOUT PAYING OFF A MORTGAGE EARLY BECAUSE YOU HAVE EXTRA MONEY? THE GOOD, IT SEEMS TO ME, RESIDES IN SAVING MONEY, EVIDENCE OF SELF-RELIANCE. CONSIDERED IN THE ATMOSPHERE OF MODERN UNDER SAVING, YOUR FINANCIAL RETURN IS GREATER IF YOU OWN YOUR HOME. IT IS ALSO GREATER IF YOU INVEST IN A RETIREMENT ACCOUNT LIKE A 401K (WITH EVEN A GREATER BENEFIT IF THE EMPLOYER MATCHES YOUR CONTRIBUTIONS) RATHER THAN PREPAY A MORTGAGE IN HOPES OF ELIMINATING IT EARLY. FURTHERMORE, IN LIEU OF A 401 K, YOU COULD CONTRIBUTE REGULARLY TO A STOCK INDEX FUND. SINCE YOUR ONLY MAJOR DEBT SHOULD BE YOUR RESIDENCE, ANY CHOICE YOU MAKE FOR INVESTMENT STILL RESTS ON THE SECURITY OF OWNING YOUR OWN HOME. THE REAL ESTATE INDUSTRY STIPULATES THAT YOUR MORTGAGE PAYMENT INCLUDING TAXES AND INSURANCE SHOULD NOT EXCEED 30% OF INCOME. ASSUMING NO EXTRANEOUS DEBT, BY DOING THE MATH A $60,000 A YR. INCOME ALLOWS FOR A MORTGAGE PAYMENT OF ABOUT $1666 A MONTH.

HINT: PRE-OWNED OR NEW HOME? LET YOUR BUDGET FOR SAVINGS BE YOUR GUIDE.

UNCOMMON CENTS 45

A RECENT STUDY'S ASSESSED THAT AT 65 A PERSON NEEDED $200,000 IN SAVINGS FOR FUTURE OUT OF POCKET HEALTH CARE COSTS. OTHER THAN SELLING ONE'S HOME, HOW MANY AMERICANS WILL HAVE SQUIRRELED AWAY $200,000? AS EITHER A CUSHION FOR UNPREDICTABLE HEALTH COSTS OR FOR LIVING EXPENSES AFTER RETIREMENT? AMERICA’S SAVINGS RATE IS IN THE RED FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE THE 1930'S DEPRESSION. WE ARE UNDERSAVING AND UNPREPARED FOR RETIREMENTS, WHICH AMERICANS OPT FOR AT EARLIER AGES THAN WERE ALLOWED IN THE PAST. WHAT PROVISIONS ARE AMERICANS MAKING FOR THEIR 'GOLDEN YEARS?' WE HAVE NO EXCUSE FOR FISCAL PROFLIGACY. WE LIVE IN A COUNTRY WITH A RULE OF LAW WHICH ALLOWS FOR THE RELEASE OF IDEAS AND ACTIONS TO IMPLEMENT THEM. AMERICANS WITH BELIEFS IN RELIGION, FAMILY, PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY AND THE NON-INTERVENTION OF GOVERNMENT IN THEIR PURSUITS OF HAPPINESS, TEND TO GIVE MORE TO OTHERS (CHARITY). I SUGGEST THAT AMERICANS OF EVERY PHILOSOPHICAL PERSUASION ALSO GIVE TO THEMSELVES.

UPON RETIREMENT, WITHOUT $200,000 IN SAVINGS, WHAT OTHER THAN SELLING A HOME WILL FREE UP CASH? AFTER CASH HAS BEEN FREED UP, DEPENDING UPON THE AMOUNT REMITTED AFTER THE MORTGAGE HAS BEEN PAID OFF, HOW MUCH FINANCIAL SECURITY REMAINS? WHAT DO YOU LIVE ON? A PENSION? SOCIAL SECURITY? IS RETIREMENT POSSIBLE ONLY IF YOUR STANDARD OF LIVING IS CURTAILED? WHO OR WHAT WILL PICK UP THE SLACK WHEN THE BILLS ARE DUE? THESE REALISTIC BUT FRIGHTENING QUESTIONS SHOULD BE ASKED NOW OF THE YOUNG, FREE TO WALK THEIR OWN PATH TO WEALTH OR DEPENDENCE. THE ALTERNATIVE TO ACCUMULATING WEALTH, DEPENDENCE, REQUIRES THAT SUPPORT COME FROM THE GOVERNMENT VIA CONTRIBUTIONS FROM YOUR FELLOW CITIZENS.

HINT: CHARITY BEGINS AT HOME.

UNCOMMON CENTS 44

IF I WERE A FACILE, WORD FREAK, MOVIE CRITIC, I COULD EMPLOY PHRASES LIKE " PURBLIND IMPERATIVES", "MONSTROUSLY BEMUSED", "FLAGRANTLY TALENTED," "LACERATING HOSTILITIES," "FORTHRIGHT YET SELF-EFFACING," "PANOPLY OF PUNISHMENT," AND END WITH "ELEGAIC" TO SUMMARIZE MY OPINIONS OF CURRENT FILMS. NO WORDS, HOWEVER, CAN SUBSTITUTE FOR THE VISUAL EXPERIENCE OF A MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL IMMERSION AT A MOVIE THEATER.

SOMETHING SIMILAR CAN BE SAID ABOUT INVESTMENTS. GLORIOUS AND ELEGANT TALK IS STILL CHEAP IF YOU DO NOT IMMERSE YOURSELF INTO THE EXPERIENCE OF SAVING MONEY AND INVESTING IT WISELY OVER THE LONG HAUL. IT IS IN YOUR OWN SELF-INTEREST TO ASSESS YOUR SPENDING HABITS AS A MEANS TO PROVIDE FOR YOUR RETIREMENT.

THAT $20.00 AN OUNCE PERFUME MAY BE AN AFFORDABLE LUXURY TO A YOUNG, SINGLE, EMPLOYED WOMAN, BUT THE HABIT OF LAVISH SPENDING ON ONE'S SELF WILL EVENTUALLY TURN AGAINST HER IF HER CAUSE IS SELF-INTEREST. A NIGHT OUT WITH FRIENDS FOR A YOUNG, SINGLE, EMPLOYED MALE MIGHT COST BLOW $20.00, BUT AGAIN THE HABIT OF SOCIAL INDULGENCE WILL EVENTUALLY TURN AGAINST HIS CAUSE OF SELF-SUFFICIENCY.

SAVE. FIRST, SAVE THE EQUIVALENT OF 2 OR 3 MONTHS EARNINGS. SECOND, ACCUMULATE ENOUGH RESERVES TO BEGIN INVESTING. CHOOSE A CAUTIOUS LONG-TERM STRATEGY. DEPOSITING $3000.00, USUALLY A MINIMUM REQUIREMENT, INTO A TOTAL U.S. STOCK INDEX FUND. THEN FORGET ABOUT IT. ANY DIVIDENDS THAT ACCRUE, RE-INVEST THEM EACH YEAR. BY REGULARLY MAKING DEPOSITS INTO YOUR FUND, YOU WILL BE ABLE TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF 'DOLLAR COST AVERAGING," WHICH LETS YOU PAY LESS PER SHARE OVER TIME AS YOUR SHARES ACCUMULATE.

DETAILS REGARDING FURTHER FINANCIAL MANEUVERS CAN BE AS OBSCURE AS THE DESCRIPTIONS OF A GIFTED, FILM WRITER. THE INITIAL STEPS ON THE ROAD TO WEALTH, HOWEVER, ARE CLEARLY MARKED.

HINT: READ THE BOOK RATHER THAN VIEW THE MOVIE; IT'S SO COST EFFECTIVE, YOU CAN TAKE THE DIFFERENCE SAVED TO THE BANK.

UNCOMMON CENTS 43

A RESPECTED FINANCIAL PLANNER SAID THAT "MORE THAN TWO THIRDS OF THE TIME, NO-BRAINER INDEX FUNDS BEAT FUNDS RUN BY STOCK PICKERS." WHAT MAGNIFIES THE SHOCK WAVE OF THIS STATEMENT IS THAT IT WAS MADE BY A CONTRIBUTOR TO THE AARP, THE AMERICAN ASSOCIATION OF RETIRED PERSONS, A LIBERAL MAGAZINE HELL BENT UPON THE GOVERNMENT CARING FOR YOU FROM CRADLE TO GRAVE. THIS INFORMATION ABOUT SIMPLE INVESTING SHOULD INSPIRE YOUNG AND OLD ALIKE. IT'S A 'NO-BRAINER' TO TAKE YOUR FIRST FINANCIAL STEP. IF YOU THINK SAVING IS TOO DIFFICULT CONFRONTED WITH MALLS, REMEMBER THAT SAVING IS EASY IF NOT CONFRONTED WITH SHOPPING AND MALLS. RESIST.

WHEN LOOKING AT SPANS OF A DECADE OR MORE FOR INVESTMENT, STOCKS TEND TO GAIN IN VALUE. THE S & P 500 INDEX ,COMPOSED OF A BROAD RANGE OF LARGE COMPANY STOCKS, FOR EXAMPLE, RETURNED AN AVERAGE OF ABOUT 10 PERCENT A YEAR OVER TIME. INDEX FUNDS REFLECT THIS MARKET ACTION. YOUR FIRST $3000. READY AND WAITING, SHOULD BE INVESTED IN AN INDEX FUND. VANGUARD, FIDELITY, CHARLES SCHWAB OR AARP FINANCIAL MUTUAL FUND OFFER THEM. THE WILSHIRE 5000 INDEX INCLUDES ALMOST ALL U.S. STOCKS TRADED ON MAJOR EXCHANGES. A LARGE CAPITALIZATION FUND IS THE STANDARD AND POOR'S 500 STOCK INDEX. THE RUSSELL 2000 INDEX SELECTS SMALLER COMPANIES. ANOTHER FUND REPRESENTS INDEXES OF DEVELOPING MARKETS OVERSEAS. A BOND INDEX IS BASED ON THE TOTAL BOND MARKET. OVER THE INTERNET IT IS POSSIBLE TO START SOMEWHERE WITH AN INDEX FUND. OVER TIME YOU MAY END UP WITH A PORTFOLIO INCLUDING DIFFERENT TYPES OF FUNDS, EACH REPRESENTING A DIFFERENT INDEX, WITH PERCENTAGES OF INVESTMENTS ALLOTTED TO EACH. BUT WITHOUT TAKING THE FIRST STEP, SAVING, YOU CANNOT TAKE THE SECOND STEP, INVESTING.

HINT: LUCK HAS LITTLE TO DO WITH SUCCESS. AS A PHILOSOPHER SAID, "WHO DOES NOT BEFRIEND HIMSELF BY DOING GOOD?" TO HAVE A FRIEND IS TO BE A GOOD ONE. PAY YOURSELF FIRST AND FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF AT THE SAME TIME.

UNCOMMON CENTS 42

YOU ARE ALIVE! YOU ARE FREE! YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO PURSUE YOUR HAPPINESS! SO WHY SACRIFICE AND SAVE FOR YOUR FUTURE? BECAUSE IT IS THE 'RIGHT' COURSE TO PURSUE? BECAUSE IT IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO? BECAUSE IT BUCKS THE POPULIST DOWNWARD TREND TO HEDONISTIC IRRESPONSIBILITY? BECAUSE YOUR ADMIRERS WILL BE FEW? SOMEHOW THIS RHETORICAL SELF-EXAMINATION RINGS TRUE THIS TIME OF YEAR. WALKING DOWN THE ROAD TO WEALTH, ADULTS FACE THE CHALLENGE OF BALANCING THREE PRIORITIES, 1. INNATE NEEDS, 2. INDIVIDUAL WANTS AND 3. FUTURE SAVINGS. BUT HOW MANY ADULTS NEGLECT TO PROVIDE FOR THEIR RETIREMENTS AND THEN EXPECTING THE GOVERNMENT, IN THE FORM OF APPROPRIATIONS FROM FELLOW CITIZENS - STRANGERS AND FRIENDS ALIKE - TO BE THE SOURCE OF THEIR EXTRICATION?

SO, PAY YOURSELF FIRST, PAY CASH AND AVOID DEBT AS YOU ASSESS YOUR CHOICES ABOUT YOUR BASIC NEEDS - HOUSING, FOOD, CLOTHING AND FUEL. AS YOU ASSESS HOW TO SATISFY YOUR WANTS. AS YOU ASSESS THE MEANS TO PUT ASIDE MONEY DAILY, WEEKLY, BY PAYCHECK OR PAYMENT, INTO AN IRA, A 401K, A SAVINGS ACCOUNT, A TREASURY BOND, A U.S. STOCK MUTUAL FUND, A BOND FUND OR AN INTERNATIONAL FUND. SACRIFICE WILL NOT BE EASY BUT SATISFACTION FROM PURSUING YOUR GOAL TO SAVE MONEY WILL EASE YOUR MIND.

DO I NEED ANOTHER PAIR OF SHOES OR DO I JUST WANT ANOTHER PAIR OF SHOES? IF I WANT TO FEED THE BIRDS I COULD TRADE THE $4 OR $8 IN SEED FOR AN EXTRA SET OF FOOTWEAR I DON’T NEED. DOES MY THERMOSTAT NEED TO BE HIGHER THAN 71 DEGREES OR DO I WANT MY THERMOSTAT HIGHER TO AVOID WEARING LONG SLEEVES, A SWEATER OR SLIPPERS? SAVING ENERGY, OBVIOUSLY THE RIGHT THING TO DO, SAVES MONEY. DO I NEED TO JOIN THE CROWDS, APPROXIMATELY 20 MILLION A WEEK, THAT AUTOMATICALLY ATTEND A MOVIE WITHOUT ANY STANDARDS FOR SELECTIVITY OR PRICE? IF I WANT TO BE ENTERTAINED I COULD TRADE THE $20, POPCORN AND 2 HRS. WILED AWAY AND LOST FOREVER AT A THEATER FOR A RENTED FLIC AND POP-SECRET'S $.30 BAG OF MICROWAVE POPCORN. COULD I DISMISS THE FRIVOLITY OF THE TANNING PARLOR, NAIL SALON OR DESIGNER PERFUME, INSTEAD PUTTING MY FREE TIME AND DISCRETIONARY CASH TO BETTER USE BAKING FOR A WORTHY CHARITY? EVEN YOURS TRULY?

HINT: TRY TO REMEMBER THE NEW ENGLAND MAXIM. 'USE IT UP, WEAR IT OUT; MAKE IT DO, OR DO WITHOUT,' ONCE A DAY WITH A SMILE IN YOUR HEART KNOWING IT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO.

UNCOMMON CENTS 41

CAN YOU PAY YOURSELF $8.21 A DAY SO THAT $3,000 ISN'T AN IMPOSSIBLE DREAM? I SAW A WOMAN CARRYING RED THUNDER, AN ENERGY DRINK IN 6 SMALL CANS, A PURCHASE THAT JUST WASTED $2.99. I SAW A NEIGHBOR CRUISING ON MY COUNTRY ROAD TO TOWN, 10 MILES DISTANT, THAT EXHAUSTED $2.00 A GALLON FOR THE 20 MILE ROUND TRIP. YOU COULD SNAP UP A 40% REDUCTION ON A BAKERY ITEM APPROACHING THE EXPIRATION DATE TO SAVE $2.20 ON A $5.50 CARROT CAKE. THEN THERE'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A NEW JIGSAW PUZZLE OFF THE RETAIL SHELF AND THE $1.00 PUZZLE LANGUISHING FOR WANT OF A BARGAIN-HUNTER'S ATTENTION AT THE RE-SALE STORE. DO YOU REALLY NEED THAT $15.00 COLLECTIBLE CHRISTMAS TREE ORNAMENT; DO YOU REALLY NEED THAT $15.00 COLLECTIBLE CHRISTMAS TREE ORNAMENT REDUCED 50%?
HINT: THINK BEFORE YOU ACT. $8.21 A DAY ADDS UP TO $3,000 A YEAR.

UNCOMMON CENTS 41

CAN YOU PAY YOURSELF PROUDLY, $8.00 A DAY?
AS AN ADDITION TO OR SUBSTITUTE FOR AN IRA?
AFTER SOCIAL SECURITY COMES OUT OF YOUR PAY?
AND 3 MONTHS CASH IS BANKED OUT OF THE WAY?

$8.00 A DAY EQUALS $3000 TO INVEST THIS YEAR.
SO - A FROTHY, FATTENING CAPPUCCINO SNEER,
REPLACE A 6-PACK OF BUD LITE WITH GENERIC BEER,
DELAY THAT HAIRCUT A WEEK WITHOUT FEAR,
TO ANY PAYMENT PLAN, SAY YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR.

HINT: K.I.S.S. SAY NO TO STARBUCKS; SAY YES TO BECOMING DADDY WARBUCKS.

UNCOMMON CENTS 40

"WHATEVER YOU HAVE, SPEND LESS," FOLLOWING THE ADVICE OF SAMUEL JOHNSON, 200 YEARS AGO. FURTHERMORE, DO NOT SPEND $17.99 ON AN ELECTRIC HEATED CHIP AND DIP TRAY WITH A 2 YEAR MANUFACTURER'S WARRANTY. CAN CIVILIZATION HAVE SOARED SO HIGH AS TO STOOP THIS LOW IN THE ART OF CONSUMER FRAUD? A NONSENSICAL PURCHASE IS NO EXCUSE TO DIP INTO YOUR POCKET AT CHRISTMAS TIME. YOU AND I KNOW THAT RETAIL TEMPTATIONS ARE ENDLESS; LIKEWISE MUST BE YOUR RESOLVE TO ABSTAIN FROM THEM. WHOEVER OPTS FOR THE $17.99 PURCHASE WILL NEVER FREE UP ENOUGH CASH TO MUNCH ON THE ‘BUY AND HOLD’ APPROACH TO INVESTING.

IN THE WORLD OF INVESTMENT, MARKET TIMING INVOLVES BUYING AT LOW PRICES AND SELLING ON THE HIGHS. BUT THE AVERAGE CITIZEN INVESTOR HARDLY HAS TIME FOR OR KNOWLEDGE OF THIS SOPHISTICATED STUFF. BETTER TO TAKE THE FIRST $3000 OF EXTRA (DISCRETIONARY) SAVINGS, BUY SHARES IN A U.S. STOCK MUTUAL FUND OR MORE CONSERVATIVELY A U.S. GOVERNMENT BOND, AND HOLD. AN 8% RETURN OVER TIME BEATS AN EMPTY SNACK BOWL EVEN THOUGH THE BOWL IS REMOVABLE STONEWARE. GIVE YOURSELF A PARTY BREAK.

UNCOMMON CENTS 39

K.I.S.S. "BRILLIANTLY SIMPLE," IT WILL "MAKE HER HAPPY," - A BIRD, A PLANE? NO, A H/W COLOR PRINTER AS ADVERTISED. PREFERABLY THE FIRST ANSWER TO "MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY" SHOULD BE THE PERSONAL GIFT OF A 401K, AN IRA OR PERHAPS A 529 COLLEGE SAVINGS PLAN, A GIFT TO WHICH YOU KEEP ON GIVING. BUT WHICH GIFT OPTIONS FILL THE CHRISTMAS STOCKING OF THE AVERAGE AMERICAN? DOES THE HEWLETT PRINTER SHOW HOW YOU ARE PAYING YOURSELF FIRST? DOES IT REFLECT A CASH PURCHASE? IS IT NEEDLESS, REPRESENTING AN UNNECESSARY DEBT? REMEMBER THE PRICE OF CARTRIDGES EXCEEDS THE VALUE OF LOW END PRINTERS. EVEN THE TOUTED 'FOREVER DIAMOND', AS A SECOND SPARKLING, PRECIOUS GEM PURCHASE, SHOULD BE RECONSIDERED AS A WISE CHOICE. AT CHRISTMAS, BORROWING MONEY STILL MEANS LOSING MONEY TO INTEREST RATES OR ADMINISTRATION FEES. GIFT-GIVING SHOULD FLOW GOODNESS SECURED FROM A SURPLUS AFTER YOUR PERSONAL FINANCIAL NEEDS HAVE BEEN MET. FOR EXAMPLE, $40.00 PER GIFT MIGHT SERVE YOU BETTER AT $25.00 A GIFT. BOLD ADVICE FROM HESIOD, 700 B.C., HOLDS TRUE: "IF YOU LAY UP A LITTLE UPON A LITTLE (MONEY), OFTEN, SOON THIS EVEN BECOMES GREAT." NO SEASON EXCUSES SPENDING BEYOND ONE'S CONSTRAINTS OR NEGLECTING TO 'LAY UP A LITTLE.'

UNCOMMON CENTS 38

K.I.S.S. IF ONLY IT WERE SO SIMPLE FOR YOUTH TO PAY THEMSELVES FIRST FROM THEIR PAYCHECKS, PAY CASH AND AVOID DEBT. AFTER ALL, A LITTLE MONEY IN YOUR POCKET IS BETTER THAN MUCH IN ANOTHER'S. IF A HYPOTHETICAL, SIMPLY FRUGAL YOUTH COULD BE FOUND, HE WOULD HAVE SAVED UP $3000 READY FOR AN INVESTMENT. THIS IS WHERE DOLLAR COST AVERAGING COMES INTO PLAY. REGULAR MONTHLY INVESTMENTS OF $100 AFTER THE INITIAL PURCHASE OF SAY $3000 OF A U.S. STOCK MUTUAL FUND, WILL GUARANTEE THE LOWEST COST PER SHARE. THE LOWEST COST PER SHARE, NOT THE LOWEST PRICE PER SHARE ALLOWS CONTINUOUS INVESTMENTS TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF LOWER PRICES AS WELL AS HIGHER PRICES OVER TIME. HERE IS HOW DOLLAR COST AVERAGING (DCA) WORKS. EACH MONTH THE SAME AMOUNT, SAY $100, IS INVESTED IN A MUTUAL FUND WITHOUT PAYING ATTENTION TO THE PRICE PER SHARE THAT MONTH. THEREFORE, EACH MONTH $100 WILL BUY A DIFFERENT NUMBER OF SHARES BECAUSE OF PRICE FLUCTUATIONS. ONE MONTH $100 MIGHT BUY 5 SHARES AT $20, THE NEXT MONTH $100 MIGHT BUY 10 SHARES AT $10 AND ANOTHER MONTH $100 WOULD BUY 4 SHARES AT $25. TOTAL COST $300 AND TOTAL SHARES OWNED 19. THE AVERAGE COST OF THE SHARES WOULD BE $15.78. OVER THE LONG RUN YOUR $100 BUYS MORE WHEN PRICES ARE DOWN AND FEWER SHARES WHEN PRICES ARE UP AND YOU MAKE A BUNDLE IN THE END. THE MORE MONEY REGULARLY INVESTED DIVIDED BY THE PRICE PER SHARES OF THE FUND, PROVIDES PROFIT OVER TIME. AMAZING.

I KNEW A CONSERVATIVE WOMAN WHO CONSISTENTLY PLUNKED A FEW DOLLARS EACH MONTH INTO AN INVESTMENT FOR YEARS. LIVING CONSERVATIVELY HELPED PROVIDE THE FUNDS, BUT PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY ALLOWED HER TO PASS ON TO HER CHILDREN A NEST EGG OF NEARLY A HALF MILLION DOLLARS. NOT BAD FOR A CHILD OF THE DEPRESSION WHEN THE MINIMUM WAGE WAS NOT A BONE OF PHONEY CONTENTION PICKED OVER BY POLITICIANS FOR PERSONAL ADVANCEMENT AT THE EXPENSE OF THE CONSUMER.

UNCOMMON CENTS 37

LIFE IS MUCH MORE COMPLICATED NOW THAN WHEN CONAN THE BARBARIAN ESPOUSED THE THOUGHT THAT "I LIVE, I BURN WITH LIFE, I LOVE, I SLAY, AND AM CONTENT." TODAY IF YOU DO NOT SAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO RETIRE, WHAT WILL YOU DO? CONTINUE TO WORK? COMMENCE TO GRIPE MALCONTENT? IF RICH, YOU MIGHT ENJOY LIFE THROUGH THE ACQUISITION OF ART, BOOKS, HOUSES, VACATIONS OR HOT CARS, BUT FIRST YOU MUST K.I.S.S. (KEEP IT SIMPLE STUPID) LIKE CONAN. SAVE FOR YOUR FUTURE. HERE ARE THREE SUGGESTIONS FOR YOUNG ADULTS CROUCHED AT THE STARTING LINE OF THE RACEWAY TO WEALTH.

1. AN EQUIVALENT TO PAYING CASH FOR ALL GOODS AND SERVICES IS THE DEBIT CARD. WITH IT, ONLY FUNDS ALREADY IN THE BANK CAN BE REMOVED WHEN REQUESTED. NO INTEREST OR FINANCING IS INVOLVED. WHEN CREDIT CARD APPLICATIONS FLOOD YOUR MAIL, FILE THEM INTO THE CIRCULAR FILE (TRASH). CREDIT CARDS ARE ONLY USEFUL IF PAID OFF EACH MONTH, BUT FOR NEOPHYTES AT INDEPENDENT LIVING, THIS TEMPTATION SHOULD BE REPELLED.

2. IF COLLEGE IS FOR YOU AFTER HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION, TRY TO SECURE SCHOLARSHIPS OR GRANTS BASED ON YOUR ACADEMIC RECORD. THIS IMPLIES THAT YOU HAVE ATTEMPTED TO GAIN THE MAXIMUM BENEFITS FROM YOUR EDUCATION THROUGH GOOD GRADES EARNED BY HARD STUDY. WHETHER OR NOT FREE MONEY IS OBTAINED, YOU STILL PROBABLY WILL NEED TO TAKE OUT A STUDENT LOAN. CONSIDER THE MOST ECONOMICAL AND ETHICAL OPTION WHEN CHOOSING A COLLEGE; ONE THAT WHICH DOES NOT WASTE EGO OR MONEY. FIRST CHOOSE A COMMUNITY COLLEGE AS OPPOSED TO A STATE UNIVERSITY OR IVY LEAGUE SCHOOL. IT WILL SAVE YOU MONEY YET AFFORD YOU THE SAME EDUCATIONAL OPPORTUNITIES. EDUCATION, PER SE, IS SELF EDUCATION NOT THE PERCEPTION OF AN IMPOSED TOP DOWN GIFT FROM ELITE PROFESSORS. ALSO, DO NOT TAKE OUT MORE IN STUDENT LOANS THAN THE JOB YOU HOPE TO ACQUIRE AFTER GRADUATION ALLOWS YOU TO REPAY WITHIN A REASONABLE AMOUNT OF TIME. FOR EXAMPLE $50,000 IN LOANS UPON RECEIPT OF A DEGREE REQUIRES APPROXIMATELY $50,000 AS A YEARLY SALARY. I GRANT THAT THE GOVERNMENT SCHEDULE FOR RE-PAYMENT FIGURES 20 OR 30 YEARS, BUT THE MORAL OBLIGATION TO PAYBACK THE LOANS DOES NOT EXTEND AD INFINITUM NOR CAN IT BE EXCUSED IF YOU SQUANDER INCOME ON LUXURIES AFTER EMPLOYMENT INSTEAD OF MAKING TIMELY RE-PAYMENTS OF A STUDENT LOAN. UPON RETIREMENT, STUDENT LOANS SHOULD NOT BE OUTSTANDING.

3. TO LAND YOUR FIRST JOB, SOME FINANCIAL HELP AND TRANSPORTATION MAY BE REQUIRED EVEN THOUGH YOU MIGHT HAVE A PART-TIME JOB. PERHAPS YOU COUNT ON FAMILY OR FRIENDS TO FACILITATE YOUR SEARCH. IF SOME ASSISTANCE IS LENT TO YOU LIKE A CAR OR CASH, PAY BACK THE DONORS ON A TIMELY BASIS FROM THE FIRST INCOME YOU RECEIVE.

HINT: TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE TO THE GOAL OF BEING DEBT FREE. HOW SOON DO YOU CHOOSE TO BE FREE AT LAST?

UNCOMMON CENTS 37

"IF WE WANT TO KNOW HOW MUCH PEOPLE ARE SAVING, WE NEED TO LOOK AT HOW MUCH WEALTH THEY HAVE. PEOPLE INVEST ...IN MANY AND VARIED WAYS BEYOND THEIR TRADITIONAL SAVINGS ACCOUNTS. AMERICANS SAVE AS MUCH AS THEY ALWAYS HAVE; OTHERWISE, THEIR WEALTH RELATIVE TO INCOME WOULD FALL. WE'RE SAVING THE RIGHT AMOUNT." SAYS EDWARD C. PRESCOTT, 2004 CO-WINNER OF THE NOBEL PRICE IN ECONOMICS, I COULDN'T DISAGREE MORE.

SPENDING RISES WITH INCOME; OVER TIME AMERICANS HAVE BECOME WEALTHIER BUT THEY HAVE CORRESPONDINGLY SPENT MORE. WHAT THEY HAVE TO SHOW FOR THEIR ACCIDENTAL TOURISM THROUGH THE LAND OF MONEY IS NO NEST EGG OR INVESTMENT ACCOUNT. RATHER THEY ONLY HAVE THEIR HOMES. BY KEEPING CURRENT WITH THEIR HOME MORTGAGE PAYMENTS, AMERICANS' MAINTAIN THEIR SOURCE OF EQUITY. SURE, THE VALUE OF MOST RESIDENCES HAS STEADILY RISEN OVER THE YEARS. BUT OTHER THAN BUILDING WEALTH THROUGH PROPERTY, HERE INCLUDING LAND, MOST OF WHICH WILL NEVER BE PAID OFF BEFORE DEATH, WHERE ARE THE SAVINGS? FURTHERMORE, WHEN WILL THE ‘INVESTMENT’ BE SOLD OFF AND/OR PAID OFF TO REAP A PROFIT? MR. PRESCOTT'S CLAIM THAT AMERICANS SAVE IN "MANY AND VARIED" WAYS CANNOT BE SUBSTANTIATED WITH EXAMPLES OF OTHER INVESTMENTS. IN FACT, AMERICANS EXPENDITURES EXCEED THEIR INCOMES.

I FURTHER QUESTION HOW SPENDING AND SPENDING ON MATERIAL POSSESSIONS SUCH AS THE 'BIG HOUSE' ULTIMATELY DEFINES WHAT'S ETHICAL EVEN THOUGH IT IS LEGAL. THE ENGINE PROPELLING OUR ECONOMY ALWAYS HAS AND SHOULD BE, IF MR. PRESCOTT’S OPINION PREVAILS, SPENDING. AGAIN I DISAGREE. SPENDING IS SAVING? OTHER THAN EQUITY IN A HOME, WHICH CAN ONLY CONVERT INTO CASH THROUGH ITS SALE, WHERE HAVE AMERICANS INVESTED IN THEIR FUTURES BY WITHHOLDING MONEY FROM THEIR INCOMES? SOCIAL SECURITY AND POSSIBLY A COMPANY PENSION ARE FORCED SAVINGS. ONLY MONEY PUT ASIDE THROUGH THE HABIT OF RESTRAINT - AGAINST SPENDING EVERYTHING ONE EARNS - FULFILLS THE DEFINITION OF SAVING, IMPLYING SELF-SUFFICIENCY AND PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY.

HINT: NO ORGANIZED RELIGION OR UNORGANIZED PERSONAL FAITH BELIEVES IN SPENDING ONE'S WAY INTO HEAVEN. K.I.S.S.

UNCOMMON CENTS 36

ALBERT EINSTEIN SAID THE GREATEST DISCOVERY OF THE 20TH CENTURY WAS ....COMPOUND INTEREST. ALONG WITH SEX, IT IS A LEGAL AND ULTIMATE PLEASURE THAT YOUNG ADULTS CAN ANTICIPATE AND ENJOY. YET HOW MUCH INTEREST HAS BEEN PAID BY TO THIS WONDROUS PHENOMENON? NO ENOUGH, AT HOME OR IN THE SCHOOLS. HAVING SAVED $3000, A YOUNG, WORKER SHOULD PLUNK THIS NEST EGG INTO AN U.S. TOTAL STOCK INDEX FUND. A VANGUARD FUND IS A POSSIBILITY. THEN BY REGULARLY ADDING $100 A MONTH TO THIS FUND AND RE-INVESTING THE DIVIDENDS AND CAPITAL GAINS (PROFIT FOR THE YEAR), THE INVESTMENT WILL COMPOUNDS ITSELF OVER TIME. IN 20 YEARS AT SAY 5% YOU WILL HAVE EARNED A PROFIT OF $17,103. IMAGINE WHAT ACCRUED IN YOUR CAPITAL? PATIENCE AND NEGLIGENCE WILL PAY OFF IF THIS ACCOUNT IS LEFT TO WORK FOR ITSELF OVER A 20 YEAR SPAN. IN SOME YEARS, A 5% PROFIT MAY NOT BE ATTAINED. PERHAPS YOU WILL SUFFER A LOSS IN THE INVESTMENT. BUT IN OTHER YEARS, THE NUMBERS WILL SHOW A PROFIT. THE SECRET IS TO RE-INVEST ANY PROFITS EACH YEAR. AN INDEX FUND COVERING THE TOTAL U.S. STOCK MARKET IS THE SIMPLEST WAY TO START, BUT AS TIME GOES BY AND ADDITIONAL MONEY IS AVAILABLE YOU MIGHT WANT TO BALANCE YOUR FIRST PORTFOLIO OR ADD ANOTHER PORTFOLIO WITH A 60% U.S. STOCK, 20% INTERNATIONAL STOCK AND A 20% BOND BALANCE IN AN INDEX FUND. K.I.S.S.

UNCOMMON CENTS 35

HINT: SMOKING MAKES BAD ECONOMIC SENSE - UNLESS YOU ARE WEALTHY.

IF THE FIRST RULE IS TO PAY YOURSELF FIRST YOU OUGHT NOT STEAL FROM YOURSELF AT THE SAME TIME. YOUNG ADULTS CANNOT AFFORD TO PAY OUT CASH, $5.00 A DAY FOR A PACK AND LITERALLY BLOW AWAY A MINIMUM OF $1825 A YEAR. THIS PERK WILL PUT GIANT ROCKS IN YOUR PATH TO WEALTH. PERHAPS WHEN YOU HAVE ACHIEVED FINANCIAL SUCCESS, THIS INDULGENCE COULD FIT INTO YOUR LIFESTYLE, BUT UNFORTUNATELY AN EXPENSIVE ADDICTION IS ONE WAY TO LAND IN DEBT.

IN THE PAST, CIGARETTES WERE CHEAP AND CONVENIENT. THEY FUELED AND HELPED TO WIN MANY OF THE WORLD'S WARS. THEY INSPIRED GREAT LITERATURE AND SOARING THOUGHTS. WHAT WILL FILL THE VOID NOW THAT THEY HAVE BEEN CO-OPTED BY THE LIBERAL SOCIALISTS WHO ARE DICTATING TO THE MASSES THEIR 'ETHICAL' AGENDA? SMOKING HAS BEEN OR WILL BE BANNED IN VIRTUALLY ALL PUBLIC PLACES. THIS BAN STRIPS A CITIZEN OF HIS RIGHT TO PURSUE HAPPINESS, AN INALIENABLE RIGHT PUT INTO PRINT IN OUR U.S. CONSTITUTION AND PAID FOR IN BLOOD. PUNITIVE TAXES ON CARTONS WERE INSUFFICIENT TO DETER THE PATRONS OF THIS DYING 'ART FORM.' THE DICTATORSHIP OF THE ELITE KILLED IT. WILL THE VICTIMS REST IN PEACE? LUCKY YOUNG PEOPLE WILL SEE THIS BAN AS AN OPPORTUNITY TO SAVE MONEY THAT CAN BE INVESTED IN THEIR FUTURES. THE RICH AND FAMOUS WILL FLAUNT THE LAW AS THEY HAVE TRADITIONALLY DONE. BUT IF YOUTH CAN REST ASSURED THAT THEY WILL NOT DIE AN EARLY DEATH BY CIGARETTE, THEY MIGHT AS WILL LIVE RICHER THANKS TO SMOKING'S POLITICAL DEMISE. K.I.S.S.

UNCOMMON CENTS 34

PAY YOURSELF FIRST BECAUSE YOU ALONE ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR LIFE. FROM THE GREEK SOURCE MEANING "GOOD FORTUNE," I CAME ACROSS A WORD EUDEMONISM, A DOCTRINE IN ETHICS THAT SAYS THE BASIS OF MORAL OBLIGATIONS IS TO BE FOUND IN THE TENDENCY TO RIGHT ACTIONS TO PRODUCE HAPPINESS. YES, HAPPINESS LIES IN FOLLOWING THE RIGHT PATH. THE PATH TO PHYSICAL INDEPENDENCE FOR ADULTS STARTS WITH A SEPARATE DOMICILE AND A JOB, AS CLOSE TO 18 OR 22 (AFTER COLLEGE) AS POSSIBLE. PARENTS HANDICAP THEIR CHILDREN BY MAKING LIFE DEPENDENT ON AND EASY FOR THEM AFTER THEY HAVE 'GROWN UP'. THE PATH TO FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE BEGINS WITH PAYING YOUR WAY INTO AN EQUITY FUND BY SAVING, LET'S SAY, A DOABLE MINIMUM OF $50. A WEEK - $2600 A YEAR. IF YOU CONSIDER THIS A SMALL SACRIFICE FOR THE CAUSE OF WHAT'S RIGHT, PERHAPS THE DECISION TO NEVER BURDEN YOURSELF WITH AN UN-MARRIED PARTNER WILL BE A LARGER ONE. TWO CANNOT LIVE CHEAPER THAN ONE; NOR WILL IMMORALITY PRODUCE WEALTH AND HAPPINESS. NO OUTWARD FORCE, INCLUDING ANOTHER PERSON, SHOULD TEMPT YOU TO NOT PAY CASH OR TO SPLURGE ON ITEMS THAT DETRACT FROM YOUR GOAL FOUNDED IN EUDEMONISM. AN OBJECTION MIGHT BE RAISED THAT SHARING AN APARTMENT CONSERVES EXPENSES. I ANSWER THAT SELF-SUFFICIENCY, MORAL DISCIPLINE AND CAREFUL SPENDING WILL TRUMP THIS OBJECTION. BY PAYING YOUR OWN WAY AND ADHERING TO THE MORAL HIGH GROUND, YOU REMAIN DEBT FREE AND OBLIGATED TO NO ONE. SHARING GIFTS OR BILLS WITH A 'LIVE-IN' COULD WASTE HUNDREDS A YEAR BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT IN COMPLETE CONTROL OF YOUR ASSETS. JUST A WEEKLY TRIP TO THE TASTEE FREEZE, A MONTHLY NIGHT-OUT AT A RESTAURANT OR AN OCCASIONAL JAUNT TO A MOVIE THEATRE, EXAMPLES OF SHARED PLEASURES, MULTIPLIES EXPENDITURES AND COMPLICATES YOUR DECISION-MAKING ABILITY.

CHOICES LOOM FOR YOUNG ADULTS STARTING OUT. A WALK-UP AS OPPOSED TO A HIGHER-BRACKETED ELEVATOR APARTMENT COULD SAVE YOU $100 A MONTH OR $1200 A YEAR. AN AIR-CONDITIONED APARTMENT MAY SACRIFICE $200 A MONTH OR $2400 MORE A YEAR OF YOUR INCOME OVER A BASIC ACCOMMODATION. LIMITING YOUR WARDROBE BY NOT PURCHASING 2 ITEMS AT $20 EACH A MONTH COULD SAVE $480 A YEAR. TREATING SHOWERS AS NECESSITIES NOT NICETIES REDUCES SAVES ENERGY BILLS. NOT PASSING UP ALCOHOL AT A COST OF $6.00 A WEEK FOR WINE OR BEER, NEEDLESSLY WASTES ANOTHER $312.

HINT: LOOK OUT FOR YOURSELF FIRST, AT FIRST AND SIMPLIFY YOUR NEEDS.

UNCOMMON SENSE 33

HINT: THE FIRST BABY STEP IS NOT THE HARDEST, JUST THE SMARTEST.

HOW HARD IS IT TO LIVE WITHIN YOUR MEANS? TO TAKE THAT FIRST WOBBLY STEP TO WEALTH. MY SUGGESTION IS THAT YOU RESOLVE TO 'PACK YOUR LUNCH.' THE LUNCH PAIL HAS NOT OUT-LIVED ITS USEFULNESS. IT HAS JUST BEEN REPLACED BY TUPPERWARE OR A PAPER BAG. WHETHER YOU LAND YOUR FIRST JOB AT SIXTEEN OR TWENTY SIX, THE DECISION TO SAVE MONEY SHOULD ACCOMPANY YOU TO THAT FIRST DAY ON THE JOB. PACK YOUR LUNCH AND PLAN YOUR DRINK. PACK WHAT YOU LIKE BUT CONSIDER USING ECONOMICAL INGREDIENTS. WHO TODAY CANNOT KEEP A PREPARATION COOL OR WARM ONE UP AT THE WORKPLACE? EVEN COLLEGE STUDENTS SHOULD BUY AND PREPARE THEIR OWN LUNCHES TO AVOID EXPENSES IN THE CAFETERIA OR LOUNGE. THERE ARE TWO KINDS OF COLLEGE STUDENTS. ONE DOES NOT PLAN FOR A GENUINE CAREER, BUT HOPES TO AVOID A FEW YEARS OF WORK. THE OTHER SERIOUSLY INTENDS TO PURSUE ACADEMIC LEARNING IN A SELECTED FIELD. NEITHER SHOULD WASTE FUNDS ON A THIRD PARTY'S FOOD PREPARATIONS WHEN SELF-SUFFICIENCY IS PREFERABLE.

NO EXCUSES (PERHAPS A RARE EXCEPTION). WHO TODAY IS DEPRIVED OF THE OPPORTUNITY OF A LUNCH DURING BREAK OR WHO MUST WORK OUTDOORS FOR EIGHT OR MORE HOURS AND EAT ‘ON THE RUN’? I SAW A CLAN OF TREE-TRIMMERS LAST SUMMER LOUNGING ON A GRASSY SLOPE, SOCIALIZING AND CONSUMING THEIR PACKED LUNCHES, NOT THEIR 'TAKE-OUTS'. BLESS THEM AND MY VISION OF THEM AS LONG AS IT LASTED. PERHAPS THEY DRANK THEIR SAVINGS AWAY AFTER WORK AT A LOCAL WATERING HOLE. PERHAPS THEIR WOMEN BOUGHT $9.00 A POUND STEAKS FOR THEM TO GRILL IN THE EVENING. PERHAPS THEIR OTHER CHOICES WERE INCONSISTENT WITH A WALK DOWN THE GREEN PATH. BUT THE FACT REMAINS - THEIR EXAMPLE OF ONE OF COST EFFECTIVENESS. AN UNCONSCIOUS BABY STEP IS BETTER THAN NONE.

A WORKER ON HOLIDAY WHO HABITUALLY SELECTS A SANDWICH, COOKIE, FRUIT OR SOUP AND DRINK FOR LUNCH SHOULD FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE BLOWING $5.00 OR MORE FOR FOOD WHILE SHOPPING AT THE MALL. SUCH A SELF-CONSCIOUS MUNCHER PROBABLY DOES NOT REGULARLY PATRONIZE A BUDGET-BUSTING MALL. CHECK OUT THIS MATH. TREATING YOURSELF TO A $.20 CUP OF COFFEE IN THE MORNING AS OPPOSED TO A $3.00 LATTE OR CAPPUCCINO WILL SAVE YOU $2.80 A DAY. MULTIPLY OFF 360 DAYS FOR A YEAR’S INDULGENCE AND YOU HAVE $1008 TO INVEST FOR YOUR FUTURE AND DRINK TO YOUR SELF-ESTEEM.

UNCOMMON CENTS 32

SHORT OF BEING DAVID GEFFEN, BRAD PITT OR OPRAH WINFREY, HOW DO YOU ACQUIRE WEALTH? KNOW THYSELF. KNOW HOW TO ENGAGE IN RISK ASSESSMENT, SIZING UP YOUR DETRIMENTAL BEHAVIORS THAT ARE COSTING YOU MONEY. OBVIOUSLY, SPENDING EVERYTHING YOU MAKE LEAVES YOU NOTHING TO INVEST. SPENDING MORE THAN YOU MAKE LEAVES YOU IN DEBT. START WHEN YOU ARE YOUNG TO PUT MY 3 SUGGESTION TO WORK FOR YOUR FUTURE. START DOWN THE PATH TO WEALTH. WHY WEALTH? IT’S BETTER THAN POVERTY WHICH NECESSITATES SOMEONE ELSE BESIDES YOURSELF BAILING YOU OUT OF A FINANCIAL JAM.

MY 1ST SUGGESTION IS TO PAY YOURSELF. WHATEVER YOUR SOURCE OF INCOME, PUT THE FIRST $50 OR $100 FROM EACH PAYCHECK ASIDE FOR SAVINGS. MY 2ND SUGGESTION IS TO THINK CASH. PAY WITH CASH. DON'T EVEN CONSIDER A CREDIT CARD IF YOU DO NOT INTEND TO OR HAVE THE MEANS TO PAY IT OFF EACH MONTH. REFUSE TO BE BEHOLDEN TO OUTSIDERS FOR 'HELP' OR INTEREST PAYMENTS. THEY ARE NOT 'REALLY' HELPING YOU. MY 3ND SUGGESTION FOR CREATING SAVINGS IS TO AVOID DEBT. THIS IS WHERE KNOWING YOURSELF AND ELIMINATING RISKY HABITS LIKE PARTYING AT THE CLUBS, EATING MEALS OUT OF THE HOME, GOING TO TANNING SESSIONS OR SHOPPING AT THE MALLS COME INTO PLAY. STARTING DOWN THE OPEN ROAD TO WEALTH IS EXCITING AND SELF-SATISFYING BUT INITIALLY IT REQUIRES SELECTIVITY AND SACRIFICES. INSTEAD OF BUYING HEINZ KETCHUP, MOUNTAIN DEW OR A NEW BEDROOM SUITE - AS YOUNG AND EAGER YOU BEGIN YOUR JOURNEY - BUY GENERIC KETCHUP, GENERIC SODA POP AND GENERIC FOOD ITEMS. INSTEAD OF NEW FURNITURE BUY USED ITEMS AND AN INEXPENSIVE NEW (OR SANITIZED USED) SET OF BEDDING.

AS YOU MAKE ENOUGH MONEY TO PAY YOURSELF FIRST, TO PAY CASH AND TO FORSWEAR DEBT, BE VALUE CONSCIOUS AND DISLIKE WASTE. YOUNG PEOPLE, OLDER PEOPLE, MOST PEOPLE - WHY FOLLOW THE CROWD?- WASTE INCOME TO LIVE EXTRAVAGANTLY WHEN, IF THEY LIVED SATISFACTORILY OR COMFORTABLY, THEY COULD FOLLOW THE SMARTER ROAD TO FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE. KNOW YOURSELF, KNOW YOUR WEAKNESSES, THINK THROUGH THE QUALITY AND QUANTITY OF YOUR NEEDS AND WANTS. FOR EXAMPLE, POP FROM A SODA DISPENSER IS EXPENSIVE AND WASTES YOUR MONEY. IF DESPERATE - AND WHO REALLY IS ? - GRAB A DRINK OF WATER FROM A PUBLIC FOUNTAIN INSTEAD. THE ACQUISITION OF COSMETIC JEWELRY, FOR EXAMPLE, WHICH NEVER APPRECIATES IN VALUE REPRESENTS WASTE. THE PURCHASE OF A HOUSE TO AVOID MAKING RENTAL PAYMENTS, ON THE OTHER HAND, REPRESENTS A LONG-TERM INVESTMENT AS LONG AS THE MORTGAGE PAYMENTS DO NOT REACH BEYOND THE MEANS OF YOUR BUDGET.
HINT: TAKE THE FIRST THREE STEPS DOWN THE GOLDEN PATH TO WEALTH AND SELF-SUFFICIENCY.

UNCOMMON CENTS 31

THESE ARE THE TIMES THAT TRY MEN'S SOULS." NO, NOT THE MEMORY OF DECEMBER 7TH, 1941 WHEN PEARL HARBOR WAS BOMBED BY THE JAPANESE, BUT RATHER THE PRESENT ASSAULT ON CIVILIZATION WHICH I CAN DESCRIBE BY ANOTHER QUOTE FROM THOMAS PAINE IN 1776 WHEN HE ALSO SAID, "NOTHING CAN REACH THE HEART THAT IS STEELED IN PREJUDICE." I REFER TO THE IRRATIONAL, CURRENT ANTIPATHY FOR TAKING CARE OF ONE’S SELF. INDIVIDUALS HOLD ONTO A DISLIKE FOR PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY BY - THE LANGUAGE THEY USE, THE EDUCATION THEY DON’T ACCESS AND THE MONEY THEY SPEND WHICH EXCEEDS THEIR INCOMES.

I NOTICE THAT THE INTERNET PROLIFERATES WITH VIDEOS OF INDIVIDUALS "UNBOXING PRODUCTS." THESE SITES DEMONSTRATE THE POPULARITY OF "VICARIOUS THRILLS." INSTEAD, I WISH THAT SOME PHENOMENOM IN OUR CULTURE WOULD PROMOTE 'UNLOCKING THE BRAIN,' FOSTERING REFLECTIVE THOUGHT. AMERICAN SOCIETY DOES ITS SILLY BEST TO LIQUIFY THE LITTLE GREY CELLS OF BRAINS THAT ABSORB EDUCATION AND THEN DRAIN THEM FROM CRANIUMS BY THE APPEAL OF TRIVIAL PURSUITS. I REMEMBER THAT A SOCIETY IS AS LAX AS ITS LANGUAGE. NOTHING PROVES THIS FACT LIKE WORDS I HEARD FROM A SPORTS COMMENTATOR DIRECTED TO HIS DIEHARD FANS. THE UPCOMING BASKETBALL 'GAME' OFFERED COMPETITION TO "DRAIN THE NET FROM WAY DOWNTOWN." SPORTS JARGON LIKE THIS POPULAR AND UNDERSTOOD, BUT SUCH ‘COLORFUL’ LANGUAGE WOULD NEVER BE USED IN OTHER NON-SPORTING, INTELLECTUAL ENDEAVORS BY BOTH TALL AND SHORT PEOPLE ALIKE OFF THE COURT BECAUSE NO ONE IS FANATICAL ABOUT THEM.

THE CONCEPT OF THE BUSY LIFESTYLE, MANUFACTURED(I BELIEVE) BY THE ELITE AND SOCIAL EXPERTS, LEAVES NO ROOM FOR SILENCE, READING, REFLECTION OR INTELLECTUAL TIME-OUTS. CONTINUAL MOVEMENT AND PERSONAL CONSUMPTION TYPIFY OUR AGE. CAN DECORATORS AFFORD 35,000 LIGHTS FOR A CHRISTMAS HOME DISPLAY? CAN PATRONS AFFORD SEASON TICKETS OR TRIPS TO WATCH A FAVORITE TEAM? CAN AMERICANS AFFORD TO BUY A HOUSE BEYOND THEIR MEANS HOPING THAT THIS ONE AND ONLY INVESTMENT WILL PAY OFF IN THE FUTURE?

MY PET PEEVE CONCERNS OVER- INDULGENCE AND UNDER- INTELLECTUALITY. I HOLD THAT WHAT'S LEGAL NEED NOT MIRROR WHAT'S ETHICAL BUT BOTH OUGHT TO BE GROUNDED IN NATURAL LAW, COMMON SENSE AND ECONOMIC SELF-INTEREST. THOMAS PAINE CHAMPIONED ALL THREE TO THE EXTREME; HIS EXTREME BENT EVENTUALLY SIDELINED HIM HERE IN AMERICA.

HINT: BEING SOFT-HEARTED TO THE POINT OF INDULGENCE MEANS BEING HARD-HEARTED TO WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU AND OTHERS.

UNCOMMON CENTS 30

EURIPIDES, 484 B.C. - 406 B.C., OBSERVED THAT "ONCE A MAN BE DONE WITH HUNGER, RICH AND POOR ARE ALL AS ONE." ENOUGH FOOD MEANT WEALTH AND SOLIDARITY IN A SOCIETY. HUNGER DISCOURAGED THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS, WHEREAS MONEY PROVIDED THE PRICE OF ADMISSION TO A BETTER LIFE. UNTIL NOW. NOW THE LEAN AND HUNGRY LOOK REFLECTS FAME AND FORTUNE AND BY EXTENSION HAPPINESS. OR DOES IT? IS IT ETHICAL EVEN THOUGH IT'S LEGAL FOR YOUNG WOMEN (AND AGED, DIE-HARD WANNABEES) TO CHOOSE SUBMISSION TO A REGIMEN OF FOOD DEPRIVATION? TO CHOOSE UNNATURAL BEHAVIOR THAT PRODUCES ULTRA-THIN AND BORDERLINE (SOMETIMES PATHOLOGICAL) ANOREXICS WHO STRUT THE RUNWAYS OF THE MODELING AND FASHION WORLD, HOLLYWOOD, AND THE ENTERTAINMENT MEDIA? IT IS LEGAL, BUT IT IS NOT ETHICAL TO PERVERT AN INSTINCT THAT CONTRIVES TO KEEP US FED? I HAVE NO IDEA HOW THEY DO IT, BUT I DO KNOW WHY. THEY FORGO THE HUMAN PLEASURES OF NECTAR AND AMBROSIA FOR THE SAKE OF MONEY OR ADULATION. YES, THE PAY IS A GOOD; THE PAYBACK EVIL.

A REVERSE, PERVERSE PHENOMENON IS OVER-FEEDING YOURSELF TO THE EXTENT THAT YOU ARE STARVED OF FUNDS FOR YOUR FUTURE. AN OPPOSING, UNETHICAL, BUT LEGAL, BEHAVIOR IS TO CONSUME EVERY CENT NOW, LIKE A GLUTTON, IRRESPECTIVE OF A PLAN TO PROVIDE SOME 'LARDER' FOR YOUR RETIREMENT AND OLD AGE. TO COUNT ON SOMEONE ELSE FEEDING YOU, SUPPORT YOU OR MINISTER TO YOU. BETTER YOU SHOULD START WITHHOLDING SOME CASH FROM THE COST OF A FEW INDULGENT MEALS. BETTER TO FOLLOW YOUR INSTINCT TO REFRAIN FROM GIVING STRANGERS YOUR MONEY AS INTEREST ON A LOAN, AN INSTINCT AS NATURAL AS REPELLING A MUGGER. HAPPINESS DOES NOT BLOOM FROM EXTREME BEHAVIORS OR PERVERTED FALSE SELF- ESTEEM. THE ACCUMULATION OF A NEST EGG DOES NOT GUARANTEE HAPPINESS EITHER, BUT IT AT LEAST REFLECTS A JOB DONE RIGHT.

HINT: GET LEAN AND HUNGRY ABOUT OVER-CONSUMPTION.

UNCOMMON CENTS 29

THE ANNUAL COMMEMORATION OF THE COMING OF CHRIST AT CHRISTMAS RETURNS. I'M ALSO READY FOR THE SECOND COMING OF CHRIST, CONFIDENT I WILL NOT BE LEFT BEHIND. SINCE 1965, THE PRESENCE OF A CAT BOX IN MY HOME HAS BEEN UNREMITTING; I HAVE DULY DONE MY DUTY CLEANING IT EACH DAY. ALMOST 15,000 DAYS LATER, I STAKE MY ETERNAL FATE ON A JOB WELL DONE. PLUS, FOR THE PAST 15,000 DAYS I HAVE REMAINED DEBT, DELINQUENCY AND PAYMENT FREE EXCEPT FOR THE HOUSE LOAN WHICH WAS EXPUNGED DECADES AGO. DETACHED FROM EARTHLY STRINGS, I STAND SEMPER PARATUS FOR THE END OF DAYS. YOU CAN ALSO BE CONSCIENCE - IF NOT LITTER - FREE. STOP SPENDING WHAT YOU DON'T HAVE; SAVE A LITTLE OF WHAT YOU DO. NO MATTER WHAT SALARY YOU EARN, PAY CASH FOR WHAT YOU WANT AND NEED. THE WANTS, OF COURSE, ARE THE 'KILLERS' WHOSE EXTORTIONS THREATEN TO ELIMINATE YOUR RESOLVE AND SENSE OF SELF-RESPECT. THE TABLET FROM MT. SINAI CALLS THIS UNETHICAL URGE, GREED.

HINT: CHRISTMAS IS THE SEASON OF GIVING, GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK FROM SPENDING. AS GRANNY CAUTIONED, "LOOK BUT DON'T TOUCH."

UNCOMMON CENTS 28

K.I.S.S.
HINT: FOLLOW THE EXAMPLE OF THE ANIMAL KINGDOM - GENERIC WORKS JUST AS WELL AS ...

THE ORGANIC AND NATURAL FOOD MOVEMENT IS AT LEAST 30 YEARS OLD. FOLLOWERS SUBSTITUTE ITS VALUE SYSTEM FOR CONVENTIONAL RELIGION. NO SIMPLICITY MARKS THEIR THINKING THOUGH THEY ESPOUSE THAT THEIR MENU CHOICES ARE FOUNDED IN SIMPLE FOODS. RUBBISH. COMPOST IS THE DESTINY OF 'IT' ALL. RATHER THEY SHOULD IMITATE THE ANIMAL KINGDOM WHERE GENERIC LABELS INTERCHANGE WITH BRAND NAMES IN NUTRITIONAL CONTENT AND TASTE. ASK ANY NATURAL DOG OR CAT - HOW DOES THE LABEL TASTE? ARE THE EXTRA EXPENSE AND THE ASSUAGEMENT OF EGO PROPER EXCUSES FOR FOOLS WHO REJECT ANY RELIGION THAT'S FREE FOR ONE THAT WASTES TIME AND MONEY? YES, 'WHOLE FOODS’ ARE LEGAL, BUT THE CHOICES BEHIND THEM ARE UNETHICAL ONES HIDING UNDER THE AEGIS OF THE ETHICAL. WHAT CAN BE SAID ABOUT BILLIONS OF DOLLARS WASTED ON FALSE SCIENCE BUT TRUE LUNACY?

THE MENTAL WAR ABOUT SUPERIORITY CARRIES ON AT WHOLE FOODS OR ALDI FOODS. THE FORMER MARKET, FOODS GROWN CONSUME YOUR FUTURE’S RESOURCES; AT THE LATTER, COST SAVINGS WILL GROW YOUR FINANCES.

UNCOMMON CENTS 27

ONCE SOMETHING IS LEGAL, NO ONE CARES IF IT IS ETHICAL OR NOT. ANYTHING GOES. IF YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH IT, WHY WORRY IF IT IS RIGHT OR NOT? CONSIDER THE LEGAL AS OPPOSED TO THE ETHICAL.

LIKE PITCHING POP CANS INTO THE WASTE BIN AS OPPOSED TO RECYCLING THEM FOR A FEW PENNIES, SAVED AND EARNED WHILE AT THE SAME TIME PROVIDING A LIVELIHOOD FOR A RE-CYCLING BUSINESS. LIKE HOT SHOWERS ON COMMAND AS OPPOSED TO JUDGING THEIR URGENCY, THE COST OF HEATING WATER AND FLUSHING IT DOWN A DRAIN. LIKE BUYING A BEST SELLER OR COFFEE TABLE BOOK (PERHAPS NEVER READING IT) AT A BOOK STORE OR OVER THE INTERNET AS OPPOSED TO PATIENTLY AWAITING ITS ARRIVAL AT OR ORDERING IT UP AT THE LOCAL LIBRARY. LIKE EATING OUT MORE THAN ONCE A MONTH AT A POPULAR OR 'FANCY' RESTAURANT AS OPPOSED TO COOKING FOR YOURSELF. LIKE REGULARLY PARTAKING OF 'FAST FOOD' MEALS AS OPPOSED TO MORE NUTRITIOUS AND ECONOMICAL ALTERNATIVES FOR BREAKFAST, LUNCH OR DINNER THAT COULD BE CONSUMED OR PACKED FOR TAKE-OUT AT HOME. LIKE GRILLING STEAKS FREQUENTLY AS OPPOSED TO BOILING RICE, BEANS, PASTA OR VEGETABLES AS SIDE DISHES. LIKE DRINKING AT HOME AS OPPOSED TO PUSHING YOURSELF BEHIND A WHEEL OR UP TO A BAR IN PUBLIC. LIKE THROWING MONEY INTO A BOTTOMLESS PIT WITH A LOTTERY TICKET AS OPPOSED TO SHOVING IT ACROSS THE COUNTER AT THE BANK.

THE POSSIBILITY ARE ENDLESS FOR THE LEGAL AND ETHICAL TO EITHER ENSNARE THEMSELVES IN CONTRADICTIONS OR GRACIOUSLY ENTWINE IN HARMONY.

HINT: THINK ETHICALLY. K.I.S.S.

UNCOMMON CENTS #26

LOGICALLY, OUR FIRST SECRETARY OF THE TREASURY, ALEXANDER HAMILTON, FAMILIARIZED HIMSELF WITH MONETARY POLICIES. WE CAN TRUST HIS OBSERVATION THAT "THERE SHOULD BE A LINE OF SEPARATION BETWEEN HONEST MEN AND KNAVES," WHO HANDLE MONEY.

MY OBSERVATION OF HUMAN NATURE GARNERED FROM IMMERSION IN THE WORLD OF RETAILING AND CONSUMERISM, IS THAT "THERE WILL ALWAYS BE A LINE OF SEPARATION BETWEEN INVESTORS AND FOOLS.

TEMPTATIONS AND RATIONALIZATIONS TO ABANDON SELF-SUFFICIENCY AND SAVING ARE UBIQUITOUS. YOUTH SHOULD INVEST. SOCIAL SECURITY WITHDRAWALS FROM YOUR PAYCHECK REPRESENT ONLY A TOKEN 'SAVINGS' TO FALL BACK ON IN THE FUTURE. YOU SHOULD BEGIN WITH FORCED SAVINGS. ACCUMULATE A MINIMUM OF $3000 IN A SAVINGS ACCOUNT TO THEN INVEST IN A LOW-COST INDEX FUND FOR THE LONG TERM. THIS STRATEGY WILL PAY OFF AS THE BASIS FOR A SATISFYING RETIREMENT. PREFERABLE TO ONE LOW COST FUND WOULD BE THREE FUNDS, A U.S. STOCK FUND, AN INTERNATIONAL MARKET FUND AND A U.S. BOND MARKET FUND. THE DECISION REGARDING THE ALLOCATION MIX OF THESE THREE FUNDS, 33%, 33%, 33% OR 85%, 20%, 15% CAN WAIT. NO RUSH. AFTER YOUR INITIAL INVESTMENT, JUST REGULAR DEPOSITS OF A MERE $50 WILL 'KEEP THE BALL ROLLING.' THIS BALL WILL ROLL UPWARDS; BETTER YET, IT NEED NEVER BE CAUGHT. KEEP YOUR INVESTING SIMPLE, BUT KEEP INVESTING. INDEX FUNDS GENERALLY BOAST ROCK-BOTTOM EXPENSES BUT PERFORM WELL OVER BOTH THE SHORT RUN (5 YEARS) AND THE LONG TERM (30 YEARS).

OF COURSE, NO STRATEGY FOR RESPONSIBLE LIVING WILL SUCCEED IF A FOOL AND HIS MONEY PART FOREVER. DISCIPLINE IS IMPORTANT IN A RESPONSIBLE LIFESTYLE. FOR EXAMPLE, SELF-DENIAL FOR THE SAKE OF SAVING NATURAL RESOURCES AND MONEY CAN BE PRACTICED BY INDULGING IN FEWER SHOWERS.

HINT: LIVE BELOW YOUR MEANS - AND PATIENTLY INVEST. IT'S SMART. IT BUILDS SELF-ESTEEM. K.I.S.S.

UNCOMMON CENTS 25

IS "ECONOMIC INJUSTICE" WOVEN INTO OUR AMERICAN WAY OF LIFE? WHAT IS THE DEFINITION OF THIS AMORPHOUS PHRASE "ECONOMIC INJUSTICE"? IS IT A COVER-UP FOR MARXIST PHILOSOPHY OF ‘FROM EACH ACCORDING TO HIS ABILITY, TO EACH ACCORDING TO HIS NEEDS? DO WE "DRIFT TOWARD A CLASS-BASED SYSTEM?" THESE TWO QUESTIONS STEM FROM STATEMENTS MADE BY NEWLY ELECTED LIBERAL SENATOR JIM WEBB. THE ANSWER IS AN EMPHATIC NO. THESE IDEAS ARE UN-AMERICAN. ONLY A SOCIALIST OR A SOCIAL ENGINEER COULD SO MISINTERPRET THE FREEDOM OF OPPORTUNITIES OFFERED IN OUR SOCIETY WHICH, BY THE WAY, TOPS THE TOTEM POLE OF DEMOCRACY. THE AMERICAN IDEALS OF INDIVIDUAL FREEDOM, ACHIEVEMENT AND RESPONSIBILITY ARE ALIVE AND WELL. WHAT'S PROBLEMATIC IS THE RESISTANCE OF SOME INDIVIDUALS TO PARTICIPATE IN THE SYSTEM. ANY INJUSTICE (INEQUALITY?) TO THE SYSTEM OF AGGREGATING MONEY OR PURSUING HAPPINESS RESTS WITH THE BEHAVIORS OF CITIZENS THEMSELVES. THE GAP BETWEEN THE RICH AND THE POOR, THE SUCCESSFUL AND THE COMPLAINERS EXISTS BECAUSE YOUNG AND OLD DO NOT KNOW HOW TO ACHIEVE FINANCIAL SUCCESS.

FOR THE YOUNG, FINISH HIGH SCHOOL. GET A JOB. WAIT TO MARRY AND CREATE CHILDREN UNTIL IN YOUR 20'S. STAY IN THE WORK FORCE; THIS WILL FACILITATE 'MOVING ON UP.' WHATEVER IT TAKES, STAY OUT OF DEBT. BEGIN A HABIT OF REGULAR SAVINGS. ACCUMULATE AT LEAST $3000 OF DISCRETIONARY FUNDS TO INVEST IN AN INDEX FUND FOR GROWTH.

FOR ADULTS AND SENIORS, DO NOT ORDER A PIZZA DELIVERY. IT PROVES THAT YOU CHOOSE TO WASTE MONEY. LET ME COUNT THE WAYS THAT THIS MAKES NO FINANCIAL SENSE. FROZEN OR HOME-MADE PIZZAS, EMBELLISHED OR NOT, COST LESS. TIPS TO THE DRIVER KILL CASH THAT COULD LIVE ON AND BE USED MORE SENSIBLY. IF THE PURCHASE OF THIS TREAT DOES NOT CRUNCH YOUR BUDGET, PICK UP THE PIZZA AT THE PARLOR. IF THE DRIVE TO THE PIZZA PARLOR EXCEEDS A HALF MILE, FORGET IT. PAYING FOR SELF-SATISFACTION HAS ITS COST-EFFECTIVE LIMITS.

HINT: FOLLOW THE ADVICE OF SOCRATES: THE EXAMINED LIFE IS WORTH LIVING. MAKE YOURS PROFITABLE TO YOU.