BONDING

"I DON'T ACCEPT YOUR VERSION OF BONDING, WRESTLING FOR FUN. I WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE. STARTING YOUR DAY WITH A LEAP UPON MY BACK IS NOT MY IDEA OF A WAKE UP CALL. I DON'T MISS YOU. WHO GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO MISS ME? TEENY, SCRAWNY, PATHETIC WAIF OF A REJECTED THING, DUMPED UPON MY KITCHEN FLOOR WITHOUT THE PRESENCE OF COMMON SENSE, HELL-BENT UPON PLAY - I REMEMBER. AND I WILL NEVER FORGIVE OR FORGET. I DON'T NEED YOU. I NEED THEM. WHY DO YOU NEED TO CHASE ME, EMBRACE ME, ENTICE ME TO RETURN YOUR PLAYFUL, MEAN SPIRIT? I WAS FIRST; I'M KITTY KING. UPSTARTS ARE SLAVES. BUT NOT YOU. IT NEVER ENDS WITH YOU. MY HISSES, GRUNTS OR FLIGHTS (WHAT WOULD YOU KNOW OR CARE ABOUT MY LOST MEOW) DON'T STOP YOU. WATER SPOUTS AND RAGING SHOUTS FROM THE MISTRESS ONLY TEMPORARILY PROVIDE ME RESPITE. TWO TERRIBLE YEARS NOW. GIVE ME A BREAK AS MY SECOND DECADE BEGINS. I NEVER GIVE YOU A THOUGHT. I LIVE TO EAT, SLEEP, PURR ON MY MASTER'S CHEST, GROOM AND UPCHUCK A HAIRBALL EACH DAY. WHO NEEDS TO PLAY? GO AWAY, 'JOY.' SIGNED, 'PHOENIX.'

REALITY AS A CRAP SHOOT

IF YOU DOUBT THAT LIFE IS A CRAP SHOOT, THINK ABOUT THE MOUNTAIN OF HISTORICAL EVIDENCE SUPPORTED BY DAY TO DAY DETAILS. FATE OFTEN DOES NOT GAME WITH WHAT ONE REVIEWER OF A HOMOSEXUAL'S MEMOIR CALLED, "FRANKNESS BUT ADMIRABLE RESERVE." FATE OPENLY PLAYS WITH UNINTELLIGIBLE AND QUESTIONABLE DESIGNS. SOME POOR SOULS ARE BORN INTO IMMORAL OR AMORAL HOMES; OTHERS INTO MORAL ENVIRONMENTS. POVERTY CURSES MANY; WEALTH REWARDS THE SELECTED FEW. BAD ROLLS OF THE DICE COME EARLY FOR SOME, LATER FOR OTHERS. I AM REMINDED OF MR. AND MRS. CHRISTOPHER REEVE WHO NEVER SAW WHAT WAS COMING FOR THEM, BUT THEY BRAVELY AND WITH DIGNITY FACED THEIR SEPARATE GOINGS. I NOTE AN UNSUSPECTING FATHER, PROTECTING HIS COWS, WHOSE FACE IS RIPPED OFF BY A BEAR AND DRUNK DRIVERS AND DRUGGIES WHO CREAM INNOCENT VICTIMS WITH REGULARITY. RANDOM MURDERS VIE WITH RANDOM HUNGER AND DISEASE CENTURY AFTER CENTURY. THE DIE IS CAST INDIVIDUALLY ON A TECTONIC PLATE IN A DICTATORSHIP OR A DEMOCRATIC COUNTRY.

LUCKY PEOPLE OFTEN PEOPLE AMERICA. A WOMAN WHO THOUGHT IT WOULD BE "FUN TO DO ANDY TAYLOR'S HOME," DID SO WITH $250,00 AND A PASSION. SHE ERECTED A BED AND BREAKFAST REPLICATING THE HOME OF ANDY GRIFFITH'S CHARACTER IN MAYBERRY, USA. PAYING CUSTOMERS JUST REINFORCE THE FULFILLMENT OF HER DREAM. ANOTHER LUCKY PERSON, AND THE INSPIRATION FOR THIS ESSAY, IS A HARNESS RACER, LEO BURNS. AT 91 YEARS YOUNG, HE RIPS UP THE TRACKS WITH HIS 2-YEAR-OLD FILLY, WINSOME WYOMING. HE HAS EVEN SET A TRACK RECORD. HIS LIFE HAS REVOLVED AROUND HIS HORSES. HE TAKES HIS SUCCESSES IN STRIDE. FATE, HAS PROTECTED LEO BURNS IN HIS SULKY AND PROVIDED FOR HIS GOOD HEALTH. DID FATE ALSO INSTILL IN HIM HIS INNER DRIVE, HIS POSITIVE OUTLOOK ON LIFE AND THE FOCUS FOR HIS LIFETIME OF SATISFACTION?

SOPHOCLES, A PHILOSOPHER OF THE 5TH CENTURY B.C. REMINDS US THAT "A WISE GAMESTER OUGHT TO TAKE THE DICE EVEN AS THEY FALL, AND PAY DOWN QUIETLY, RATHER THAT GRUMBLE AT HIS LUCK." IGNORING SAGE ADVICE PUTS THE ACHIEVEMENT OF HAPPINESS IN PERIL.

THE REAL WORLD

I SPENT A FULL DAY IN THE REAL WORLD OF RETAIL SERVICE FOLLOWED BY A WORSHIP SERVICE. AFTER MY EXPOSURE TO A CROSS-SECTION OF MISSHAPEN SOULS, I REALIZED WHAT MAKES SMALL TOWN AMERICA SUPERIOR TO MANY OF ITS URBAN AND GLOBAL NEIGHBORS. THE ANSWER, I THINK, RESTS WITH THE LITERAL APPLICATION OF THE TERM 'MISSHAPEN' RESERVED FOR MY FELLOW AMERICANS AS OPPOSED TO THE FIGURATIVE MEANING WHERE OUR ENEMIES RESIDE.

HELLO IS RETURNED WITH HELLO. A SMILE WITH A SMILE. A SPLOTCH OF TRIVIAL PURSUIT IS AMICABLY EXCHANGED. THESE ACTIONS TYPIFY THE PLEASANTNESS OF DEALING WITH NORMAL, DECENT FOLK. I MET THEM ALL DAY LONG. FOR NO REASON AND WITH LITTLE EFFORT, CUSTOMERS AND I LEARNED A LITTLE SOMETHING ABOUT EACH OTHER. I WAS NOT STONEWALLED BY SUSPICION OR SUPERCILIOUSNESS. SURROUNDED BY LOCALS, I WOULD NEVER ENTERTAIN A THOUGHT OF FEAR FROM THE TATTOOS OR PIERCINGS, THE SIDE-SADDLE BALL CAPS, THE TEMPTING FRONTAL CLEAVAGES, THE OVERINDULGENT BACKSIDES, THE UNDERFED NICOTINE USERS, LUMPY PHYSIQUES OR PIOUS CHURCHGOERS WITH NOTHING BETTER TO DO THAN SPEND AN HOUR WITH GOD. TYPICAL SMALL TOWN AMERICANS RETURN CIVILITY FOR CIVILITY. HUMOR FOR HUMOR. MONEY FOR SERVICES. LOVE FOR NEED.

BUT THOSE CRIMINALS AND TERRORISTS WHO WANT TO KILL US, THOSE WHO CAN'T GET ALONG, THOSE WHO CHOSE TO ABUSE THEIR NEIGHBORS, THOSE WHO ROUTINELY PUT A NEGATIVE SPIN ONTO DAILY LIFE, WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND 'OTHERS' LIKE US. I AM GRATEFUL THAT I DON'T NEED TO DEAL WITH THEM, BUT I AM BOUND TO PRAY FOR THEM. WHAT PERCENTAGE OF THESE MISSHAPEN SOULS INHABITS OTHER CITIES AND COUNTRIES IS DIFFICULT TO ASSESS BECAUSE ORDINARY WORKERS AND LAW-ABIDING CITIZENS COUNT FOR LITTLE IN MEDIA PICTURES THAT FOCUS ON WHAT BLEEDS. LIKE FERDINAND THE BULL, MORE HUMAN BEINGS NEED TO SMELL THE FLOWERS AND NOT ACT LIKE WEEDS.

NO BRAINER

NEVER ASSUME THAT WEALTH OR POWER ARE SYNONYMOUS WITH BRAINS.
A POWERFUL POLITICIAN, U.S. REPRESENTATIVE DENNIS KUCINICH FROM OHIO, ADVOCATES PUNISHING EXXON FOR ITS PROFITS BUT ADMITS THAT THIS VENGEANCE WOULD NOT LOWER THE PRICE OF GASOLINE AT THE PUMP. APPARENTLY CONTRADICTORY AND SLOPPY THINKING RARELY STOP HIM FROM SPEAKING. OHIO REPRESENTATIVE JOHN KERRY AND SENATOR JOHN SCHLICHTER USE THE POWER OF THEIR POSITIONS TO PATRONIZE WHAT THEY PERCEIVE TO BE SUPPORT FOR BANS ON MEGA FARMS WHICH IN REALITY ARE OPPOSED BY ONLY A HANDFUL OF LOCAL, IRATE CITIZENS. ALSO, THEY SPREAD THEIR INFLUENCE ABOUT ON WHAT THEY PERCEIVE TO BE AN UNWILLINGNESS ON THE PART OF THE PUBLIC TO TRAVEL BECAUSE OF HIGH GAS PRICES WHEN OBSERVATION ALONE WOULD PROVE THEM WRONG. APPARENTLY STAYING IN OFFICE TRUMPS ASCERTAINING FACTS.

THE RICH TOO, THINK TOO LITTLE AND BETRAY THEIR IMMATURITY AND IRRATIONALITY TOO MUCH. TWO WEALTHIES, THE CEO OF CABLEVISION SYSTEMS CORP., JAMES DOLAN AND A CONSULTANT, CHARLIE MANGANO, ASPIRE TO PLAY IN ROCK BANDS. UNABASHED BY THEIR SPOILED, ILL-ADVISED AND SELF-CENTERED PURSUITS, THEY RAISE A HUE AND CRY THAT "EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE KEITH RICHARDS." EVERYBODY DOESN'T - INCLUDING THIS WRITER WHO KNOWS THAT KEITH RICHARDS QUALIFIES AS A ROLE MODEL FOR SUCCESS ONLY IF ONE ACCEPTS ROCK MUSIC AND FRIED BRAINS. DAVID H. MURDOCK, DOLE FOOD COMPANY'S OWNER, DRIVES MOST NORMAL PEOPLE HE ENCOUNTERS 'CRAZY' WITH HIS SELF-PROFESSED "RABID" ACTIVISM FOR PROPER NUTRITION, FRUITS AND VEGETABLES AND ABANDONMENT OF MEAT AND SATURATED FAT. SEEMS TO ME THE FAT THAT MR. MURDOCK AVOIDS NOW HAS PREVIOUSLY SETTLED IN HIS BRAIN.

THOUGH FOX NEWS CLAIMS TO BE "FAIR AND BALANCED," THE SLOGAN BEGS TO BE APPLIED TO THE BEHAVIOR OF OODLES OF RICH AND INFLUENTIAL PEOPLE. IN ADDITION, SMART IS NOT THE TERM THAT COMES TO MIND WHEN ONE OBSERVES THE EXCESSES OF FAMOUS STARS OF HOLLYWOOD AND SPORTS. SOMEHOW HOMO SAPIENS LOST WISDOM IN THE BATTLE HE WON FROM THE NEANDERTHALS.

FRISSONS

HOW SWEET THE FRISSON AS ONCE AGAIN I INHALE THE EXOTIC, SWEET PERFUME OF A NIGHT-BLOOMING JASMINE. ITS FLORAL SCENT DRIFTS FROM TINY, IVORY, TRUMPET FLOWERS WITH THE DOWNFALL OF DARK, ENCHANTING A SPACE. FROM AN UNKNOWN, DISCOUNTED, END-OF-THE SEASON, WITHERED PLANT, THROUGH A WINTER OF HIBERNATION AND A SPRING OF ANTICIPATION TO A SUMMER NIGHT'S AROMATIC SURPRISE, MY SPINDLY NIGHT-BLOOMING JASMINE DEFINES SWEETNESS TO THE OLFACTORY SENSE.

HOW SWEET THE FRISSON AS ONCE AGAIN I SINK MY TEETH INTO THE FAMILIAR AND LONG-AWAITED SWEETNESS OF FRESH, JUICE-SPURTING, HOME-GROWN CORN. FROM A KERNEL COVERED UP IN THE ROTO-TILLED GROUND, THROUGH SHOWERED DRINKS, SUMMER'S HEAT AND HAND-POLLINATION, AND PROTECTED BY A NET FROM A MARAUDING RACCOON, MY 'SUGAR DOT' EARS DEFINE SWEETNESS TO THE GUSTATORY SENSE.

A DUET OF SWEET INTOXICATIONS SINGS TO THE WONDERMENTS OF NATURE. "HOW SWEET IT IS!" AS JACKIE GLEASON OFTEN REMINDED HIS AUDIENCE ON HIS TELEVISON SHOW YEARS AGO.

80/20 RULE

IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY OR WHAT? WHAT 20% (MINORITY) OF THE PEOPLE REPRESENTS REASON? WHAT 80% (MAJORITY) IS INSANE? OR IS IT THE REVERSE? 20% OFTEN WIELDS ITS POWER IRRESPONSIBLY AS IS THE CASE OF THE UNITED AUTO WORKERS’, THE TEACHERS’ AND THE LONGSHOREMEN'S UNIONS. IN THE THROES OF A 'CAUSE', LONGSHOREMEN CAN BRING COMMERCE OR THE GOVERNMENT TO ITS KNEES WITH ITS BLACKMAILING TACTICS - AND THIS FROM BLUE COLLAR WORKERS, THE LONGSHOREMEN, PULLING DOWN $117,000 A YEAR. THEIR SALARIES ARE THE STUFF OF 80% OF AMERICANS' DREAMS. THE 20% OF NOISY, SELF-RIGHTEOUS ENVIRONMENTAL ACTIVISTS CAN HUMBLE PUBLIC CORPORATIONS LIKE FORD INTO SELF-DESTRUCTIVE POLICIES. IF THE 'TREE HUGGERS' WERE ABLE TO FORCE FORD INTO PRIVATIZING, THE LOSS TO FORD'S INVESTORS AND THE CAR BUYING PUBLIC WOULD AFFECT 80% OF AMERICANS. 20% OF IRRATIONAL, SELF-SERVING, LIBERAL DEMOCRATS JEOPARDIZE OUR NATIONAL SECURITY WITH CONCILIATORY STATEMENTS TO TERRORISTS. AS USUAL, THEY SPEAK OUT OF BOTH SIDES OF THEIR MOUTHS AT ONCE. PRIME MINISTER MALIKI, OF IRAQ IS NOT ALLOWED TO THINK INDEPENDENTLY FROM THE WHITE HOUSE WHEN HE REFRAINED FROM CONDEMNING HEZBOLLAH OUTRIGHT; YET IF HE BACKS PRESIDENT BUSH, MALIKI WOULD JUST BE BUSH’S PUPPET ACCORDING TO THE LIBERALS. 80% OF OUR POPULACE CAN SPOT PHONEY RHETORIC OR HYPOCRISY WHEN THEY HEAR IT OR OBSERVE SOMEONE LIVING IT. FOR EXAMPLES, A POLITICIAN( LOCAL, CAMPAIGNING DEMOCRAT) USES THE WORD "LOOTING" TO REFERRING TO HIS OPPONENTS' USE OF THE TREASURY. LIBERAL POLITICIAN, AL SHARPTON ESPOUSES THE "RIGHT" TO AIR CONDITIONING. A CONGRESSMAN DECLARES THE "IMMORALITY" OF CUTTING SOCIAL SERVICES. WARREN BUFFETT AND BILL GATES, BILLIONAIRES, DISTRIBUTE BOONS FROM THEIR ENORMOUS FORTUNES AS AN EXAMPLE FOR OTHER MEGA-RICH INDIVIDUALS TO FOLLOW, BUT THEY CAN AFFORD IT, AVOIDING PAYING THEIR TAXES IN THE PROCESS. BUFFETT AND GATES KNOW THAT 80% OF WORKERS WILL NOT REALISTICALLY ACHIEVE THEIR ASPIRATIONS OF WEALTH MUCH LESS BECOME MILLIONAIRES. THE 20% OF LIBERALS WHO PROFESS THE RELIGION OF DOOM AND GLOOM OR THE SIMPLE DOGMA OF HATRED FOR AMERICA AND THE REPUBLICAN PRESIDENT ( BOTH WOULD BE BURIED IF A DEMOCRAT TOOK POWER), CONTINUE TO TRY TO INTRODUCE THE VIRUS OF 'FALSE MISERY' INTO THE MIND SET OF THE SANE, SENSIBLE, SIMPLE MASSES. THE 80% COUNT FOR NOTHING WITH LIBERAL DEMOCRATS EXCEPT TO BE MANIPULATED. SO WORKING MEN AND WOMEN OF AMERICA, UNITE! WE HAVE NOTHING TO LOOSE BUT THE CHAINS OF THE 20%.

TERRORISM DENIERS

"We need to negotiate a settlement," a politician and "Terrorist Denier" said recently referring to the war between Israel and Hezbollah. Whose war is it anyway that ‘we’ can interfere? Such a politician and many common citizens refuse to "know their enemy," as Sun Tzu, the Chinese writer said centuries ago about war.

A specter is haunting the world - the specter of Terrorism, to paraphrase Karl Marx. It is a reality that cannot be ignored even though we see many around us who live in a dream world of denial and fantasy. Similar to "Holocaust Deniers," the "Terrorist Deniers" are blind to history’s evidence and they find "alternative reality" explanations for the wave of terrorism that has engulfed the planet.

Bombay India has smoldered from terrorist bombs, London is commemorating the one year anniversary of the terrorist attacks, Spain still searches for clues in the bombing of passenger trains and bomb plots against New York and Chicago were uncovered within the last few weeks. Yet, against this backdrop, the University of Wisconsin currently has a "Terrorist Denier" professor teaching a course that proclaims that the 9/11 attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon were explosions executed by George W. Bush so that he could begin his war against Islam in Iraq. It was just announced by the University that they will have this ‘nut cake’ teach the course again in the fall semester. To think parents actually pay to send their children to such centers of indoctrination.

The first great wave of terrorism, the targeting of the innocent as a means of destabilizing a government, began in Russia at the turn of the last century. It culminated in the assassination of the Tsar Alexander II. At the assassins’ trial the prosecutor spoke of the innocent bystanders killed. The terrorist leader laughed. The prosecutor’s observation was true then and equally true now, "When people weep, they laugh". As we weep over a beheading in Iraq, mass slaughter of refugees in Darfur or civilian Israelis killed repeatedly by Palestinians, the terrorists laugh.

In much of the world, the easy solution is to fall back on the default bogeyman, the United States, as the cause of all evils. In psychology it is called "transference." For example, instead of facing the real problem, Terrorists who will hurt you, you blame the United States who won’t hurt you even if you speak out. This fantasy is extremely comforting to much of Europe trying to ignore the bombs going off in their midst.

Within the United States the "Terrorist Deniers" find comfort in blaming the United States for being the "root cause," a favorite term, of everything evil. Witness the deranged University of Colorado, professor Ward Churchill, who declared that the victims of 9/11 were all "little Eichmans", a statement that immediately won him the affection of liberals, progressives and other assorted looneys. But our homegrown deniers have an additional bogeyman to flail, President George W. Bush as the "root cause" of terrorism. In psychology a term has been coined to express this delusion, it is called "BDS", or Bush Derangement Syndrome. It is best expressed by the paroxysm of rage and irrationality that "BDS" sufferers experience upon hearing the name George W. Bush. Whatever problem is being discussed relating to terrorism, global warming, hurricanes, the economy or public education. it is immediately attributed to our President or his diabolical minion, Karl Rove.

Unfortunately Deniers in the grip of the delusion of "BDS" are millstones hanging from the necks of rational Americans. They contribute nothing to an analysis of terrorism and the means of preventing and then defeating it. "Terrorist Deniers" need to realize that we need a discussion of the means and techniques on winning the War on Terror and not juvenile carping and blame shifting. Governor Arnold Schwartzenegger coined a term for people such as the Deniers, " Girly Men." Since the United States is perceived to be the cause of terror, the solution of Deniers is appeasement, which calls for anxious overtures and undue concessions to satisfy an aggressor. Appeasement is a fundamental misreading of reality when pacifism is seen as the response to terrorists who declare that they wish to annihilate us. What part of "I want to kill you" do the Deniers not understand? Calling for conferences and dialog to share our "feelings and concerns" with the terrorists and hear their "legitimate grievances" is the utmost of narcissistic folly.

One major obstacle to our understanding of Islamist Jihad or North Korea’s or Iran’s nuclear fantasies is the fact that their mindsets are out of the world view of Western Civilization. The West prizes life whereas the terrorists prize death. There has been a paradigm shift of tectonic proportion in the concept and processing of war which we need to recognize and not indulge in romantic fantasies of the liberals, progressives and "Terrorist Deniers."

What can rational, concerned citizens do? Knowledge precedes power so we need to empower ourselves individually and collectively as a nation with the truth about our enemies. They exist and they want to ‘wipe out’ us infidels. Praying for them is fine if confined to the realm of their immortal souls, but accommodating them on earth is "Terrorist Denial." From a realistic perspective, truth should precede a plan of action. And the plan, as latet President Ronald Reagan said regarding the Soviet empire, "We win, they lose."

HOME SWEET HOME

DID GEORGE WASHINGTON START THE TRADITION OF NAMING ESTATES? I DOUBT IT, BUT HABITS INSPIRED BY HUMAN NATURE DIE HARD. AD INFINITUM, THE RICH, FAMOUS AND PRETENTIOUS QUALIFIED THEIR HOMES ON EARTH WITH FANCY NAMES INDICATIVE OF THEIR PERCEIVED OR REAL STANDINGS. WRITERS FOUND INSPIRATION AND SOLACE IN A SENSE OF PLACE TOO. JEFFERSON'S MONTICELLO, ADAMS' QUINCY, WILLIS' IDLEWILD, PAULDING'S PLACENTIA, SIMMS' WOODLANDS, COOPER'S OTSEGO HALL, JAMES' LAMB HOUSE, HENRY ADAMS' BEVERLY, LOWELL'S ELMWOOD, LONGFELLOW'S, CRAIG HOUSE, IRVING'S, SUNNYSIDE, LEE'S, ARLINGTON, MELVILLE'S, ARROWHEAD, HAWTHORNE'S, OLD MANSE. THE COMFORT OF SURROUNDINGS WERE MIRRORED IN THE NAMES.

NEWPORT, RHODE ISLAND'S MANSIONS OF THE MEGA-RICH ALSO BORE DESCRIPTIVE NAMES SUCH AS ROUGH POINT, MARBLE HOUSE, BEECHWOOD, THE BREAKERS, AND THE ELMS. WHO WOULDN'T LUST TO LIVE THERE?

TODAY, WALL STREET INVESTOR, DON LUFKIN HAS HIS ROUGHLANDS AND ANDRE AGASSI, THE TENNIS GREAT HAS HIS ROUNDHILL ESTATE.

EXAMPLES ARE ENDLESS. THE IMPORTANCE OF SELF-ESTEEM IS TIMELESS TOO. SO I STAKE MY CLAIM TO MY SHAMBA LETU, TRANSLATED AS "OUR FARM" FROM SWAHILI. GRANTED MINE IS A DEFUNCT FARM BUT IT REMAINS A TRACT OF LAND SET ASIDE FOR THE CULTIVATION OF THE SOIL. FAILED GARDENS, WILTED FLOWERS, COMMONPLACE TREES AND RAMBUNCTIOUS WEEDS DO NOT DETRACT FROM THE FERTILENESS THAT SHAMBA LETU ASSURES MY THOUGHTS.

MY JIMSON WEED

A THING OF BEAUTY IS A JOY FOREVER, ESPECIALLY A FREEBIE EVEN IF IT IS A JIMSON WEED. A STRANGE PIECE OF GREENERY VISITED ME OFF THE EDGE OF MY PATIO TWO YEARS AGO AND GRACED ME WITH A FOOT TALL STALK, BULGING WITH A FEW GREEN, PRICKLY GOLF BALLS. IT EVENTUALLY FLOWERED WITH A HANDFUL OF WHITE TRUMPETS EXUDING A FAINT, MUSKY PERFUME. I ADMIRED IT. A WEED BOOK IDENTIFIED IT. THE DICTIONARY WARNED ME ABOUT MY NEW NEIGHBOR, "A TALL, COURSE, EVIL-SMELLING, VERY POISONOUS ANNUAL WEED THAT YIELDS IMPORTANT BUT TOXIC ALKALOIDS. NEVERTHELESS, THIS YEAR I FELT DISAPPOINTED WHEN I RECEIVED NO HOPED- FOR RETURN. THEN A SPRINGTIME WALKABOUT MY YARD RESULTED IN MY "EUREKA." TOTALLY UNEXPECTED BUT TOTALLY WELCOME, MY DEADLY NIGHTSHADE HAD EMERGED ELSEWHERE FROM NEW GROUND. TIME PROVED ITS VENGEANCE TO BE SWEET. LAST NIGHT AT DUSK, AT 5 FEET IN BOTH HEIGHT AND CIRCUMFERENCE , IT SPORTED NUMEROUS GREEN, SPIKED FRUIT. ITS GREENERY, HOWEVER, WAS OVERSHADOWED BY 25 IMPRESSIVE WHITE, TUBULAR BLOOMS. WHAT A SHOW! IT STILL WHISPERED, "LOOK BUT DON'T TOUGH" AS I SHOUTED BACK TO MYSELF THAT BEAUTY IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER.

MY FREEBIE IS A WELCOME GIFT, SUPPOSEDLY NOXIOUS, BUT I'M BIASED. TO ME, NOXIOUS IS FREE MONEY FOR RENT, PRESCRIPTIONS, TRANSPORTATION, SHELTER, DENTAL WORK, SHOES, CLOTHES OR JOB SEARCHES, HANDED OUT BY THE GOVERNMENT VIA LOCAL PROGRAMS TO THE POOR AND NEEDY WHO ESCHEW SELF-SUFFICIENCY. SELF-SUFFICIENCY IS MY INDEPENDENT WEED WITH FLOWERS AS SHOWY AS ANOTHER VOLUNTEER RETURNEE GROWING ALONE AND AS THE LONE SHOWOFF IN A NEARBY FIELD. A CONVOLVULUS, A PERENNIAL, TWINING HERB, BLOOMS WITH HUGE, MILKY SAUCERS STREAKED IN THEIR CENTERS WITH PURPLE. IT DISPLAYS ITSELF UNDER THE WARM, SUMMER SUN, UNNOTICED AS ANOTHER THING OF BEAUTY, EXCEPT BY GOD AND ME.

SWORD FIGHT

SWORD FIGHT -
BETWEEN HUMMING MITES
DIVING ABOVE MY FEEDER.

SAD PLIGHT -
PERCHED, I SIGHT
A FEMALE DISTRESSED.

RUBY THROATS -
CLASH AND SWOOP
NECTAR BECKONS

GIRLS TOO INFLICT WITES,
HEAD SWORDS THRUST,
NO SHARING RECKONS.

WILL HE WHO MINDS
THE SPARROW, MIND
A LAPSE SIZED BY A THIRD?

BEAUTY ON THE WING
MY PRIVILEGED SIGHT.
AND DEATH AT FIRST LIGHT?
NAY, RECOVERY AT THE PERCH.

TAKE A STAND

WIMPS OF ALL PERSUASIONS INCLUDING 40 SOMETHING YUPPIES LIKE CONSERVATIVE TALK SHOW HOST, GLENN BECK, ARISE. TAKE A STAND AND KEEP STANDING. DON'T SIT STILL FOR MURDER. DON'T SIT DOWN IN MOVIE THEATERS TO VIEW USELESS FILMS.

MR. BECK FEELS THAT PRESIDENT BUSH'S VETO (HIS FIRST) WAS A POLITICAL PLOY. SINCE IT WAS HIS FIRST AND ONLY VETO, DOES THAT NOT SHOW OUR PRESIDENT CONSIDERS A PARTICULAR ISSUE OF PARAMOUNT IMPORTANCE? SO HE OPPOSED GOVERNMENT FUNDING FOR EMBRYONIC STEM CELL RESEARCH. YET MR. BECK WHO TOUTS HIS INTROSPECTIVE PROPENSITIES AND INQUISITIVENESS FAILS TO SEE WHAT IS CLEARLY BEFORE HIS EYES, LITERALLY AND FIGURATIVELY. OUR PRESIDENT TOOK A STAND AGAINST MURDER AND ELOQUENTLY EXPLAINED WHY. SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY WERE SIDE ISSUES. PRESIDENT BUSH VETOED USING STEM CELLS DERIVED FROM 4 TO 5-DAY-OLD EMBRYOS. EMBRYOS ARE DEFINED AS THE RUDIMENTARY FORM OF A HUMAN BEING IN ITS EARLIEST STAGES. THESE EMBRYOS ARE DESTROYED IN THE PROCESS. MURDER IS DEFINED AS TO KILL A HUMAN BEING WITH PREMEDITATED MALICE. WHAT'S NOT TO UNDERSTAND WHEN A TERRORIST SAYS, "I WANT TO KILL YOU," OR A 'SCIENTIST' KILLS AN EMBRYO?

LITTLE BACKBONE CAN BE EXPECTED FROM GLENN BECK, THE MOVIEGOER, WHO LOVES TO GO TO MOVIES. RECENTLY A MOVIE CRITIC, MORALLY OUTRAGED, WALKED OUT OF A RECENT FLIC WHEN A DONKEY SHOW WAS ANNOUNCED. HOLLYWOOD'S WORLD OF CELLULOID IS USUALLY SELF-SERVING. OVER THE PAST DECADES, FILMS HAVE INCREMENTALLY BECOME MORE SUPERFICIAL, FILTHY-MOUTHED, VIOLENCE OBSESSED AND IMMORALLY BIASED. WHO WOULDN'T WANT TO TAKE A STAND AGAINST THAT? APPARENTLY NO MR. BECK OR MILLIONS OF YOUTHFUL VIEWERS. GLENN BECK IS A MAN OF OUR TIMES, CAUGHT UP IN THE POPULAR CULTURE EVEN THOUGH HE ESPOUSES TRADITIONAL VALUES. A LION BEHIND THE MICROPHONE, HE WIMPS OUT BEHIND THE SCENES.

THREE CHEERS FOR OUR PRESIDENT. I'LL CHEER MYSELF SILENTLY IF MR. BECK DOESN'T MIND. PERFECTLY GOOD SKIN CELLS, UMBILICAL CORD STEM CELLS AND ADULT STEM CELLS(WHICH ARE DOING GOOD ALREADY) CAN BE USE FOR EXPERIMENTATION IN THE FUTURE IF EMBRYONIC CELLS(ONLY IN THE HOPE CATEGORY NOW) ARE 'OFF THE TABLE.' PERFECTLY SATISFYING ALTERNATIVE METHODS OF RECREATION AND EDUCATION ARE AVAILABLE TO ME SINCE I HAVE FORSWORN FILMS SINCE THE 1970'S. NO, I AM NOT A 'NUT JOB' AS MR. BECK MIGHT DISMISS ME. I SIMPLY FIND TWO ISSUES ON WHICH IT IS EASY AND SATISFYING TO 'TAKE A STAND.' ANY POLITICAL CANDIDATE OR INDIVIDUAL WHO FINDS IT PERSONALLY OR POLITICALLY EXPEDIENT TO JUSTIFY MURDER, REMAINS SUSPECT. MODERN MOVIEGOERS ARE SUSPECT TOO.

HOW TO CLEAN A PAN

TO BORROW A FEW ALLITERATIVE WORDS FROM A WRITER, JOHN MCDONOUGH, I CAN STATE THAT I HAVE NEVER WALKED IN THE "FOG OF FAD AND FASHION." I'VE PREFERRED TO MARCH FEEBLY TO A "DIFFERENT DISTANT DRUMMER," TO USE ANOTHER WRITER'S WORDS, HENRY DAVID THOREAU'S. WHEN THE NEED ( UNCONVENTIONAL IF YOU ASK) FOR A LARGE, FLAT-BOTTOMED PAN AROSE AND I RECEIVED ONE GRATIS, THE TASK OF CLEAN-UP FOLLOWED.

TO CLEAN A LARGE (ABOUT THE SIZE OF A BUFFET SERVING TRAY), RECTANGULAR, LIME AND RUST-ENCRUSTED METAL PAN, IT TAKES 4 STEPS.

1. POUR A 24 OZ. CONTAINER OF LIME-AWAY INTO IT AND WAIT. STIR LIQUID AROUND PAN OCCASIONALLY WITH TOILET BRUSH. WAIT AN ENTIRE DAY. AND OVERNIGHT.

2. RINSE PAN (ANYWHERE SAFE OUTDOORS). SCRAPE ENCRUSTED GUNK WITH HEAVY SCRAPING TOOL. I CHOSE A BEEHIVE TOOL. SCRAPE SOME MORE. AND MORE. THEN SPRAY PAN WITH OVEN CLEANER AND PUT OUT INTO THE SUN TO BAKE. WAIT 2 HRS.

3. RINSE PAN (THIS TIME IN TUB). SCRAPE. SCRAPE SOME MORE. POUR BLEACH INTO BOTTOM OF PAN TO THE DEPTH OF ABOUT AN INCH INCLUDING A LITTLE WATER. WAIT. 2 HRS.

4. RINSE PAN IN TUB. SCRAPE WITH A 50 CENT WIRE DISH PAN SCRAPER ALTERNATING WITH THE STURDY METAL SCRAPER. SCRAPE. SCRAPE. THINGS ARE LOOKING PRETTY GOOD BY NOW.

THE FINAL RINSE WITH SOAP AND WATER REVEALS THE SHINY PIECE DE RESISTANCE. P.S. A SINGLE-EDGED RAZOR BLADE WOULD HAVE BEEN HELPFUL TOO BUT I BROKE MY SOLE ONE INTO PIECES WITH THE FIRST SCRAPE.

TODAY'S JACKAL

EVERY DOG WILL HAVE HIS DAY; TODAY IS THE DAY OF THE JACKAL, THE NEWS MEDIA. THEIR WORK OF BIASED REPORTING SERVES THE PURPOSE OF THE ENEMIES OF AMERICA. ANY OPPORTUNITY TO BASH PRESIDENT BUSH OR THE USA IS FAIR GAME. ARRANT PANDERING TO SPOILED ‘VICTIMS’ WHO ARE NOT REPRESENTATIVE OF THE BEST AND BRIGHTEST OUR COUNTRY OFFERS IS THEIR SPECIALTY.

FIRST LET'S START WITH A FEW OF EXAMPLES OF SOFTIES THAT THE MEDIA THINKS REPRESENT AMERICA. WEARERS OF iPODS IN RUNNING SHOES. PURCHASERS OF ONE SERVING COFFEE PODS COSTING TEN TIMES THE COST OF A REGULAR CUP OF JAVA. A MOTHER WHO SERVES ORGANIC BABY FOOD, JARRED, CHILLED OR FROZEN. A SWIMMER WHO USES BABY OIL WHEN SHOWERING BECAUSE SOAP AND A WASHCLOTH "CAN BE ROUGH ON SKIN."

NEXT LET'S ADMIT THAT THE MEDIA SUPPORTS ACTIVISTS, POLITICIANS, LAWYERS AND ENTERTAINERS WITH THEIR LIBERAL AGENDAS. TRY THE NON-SMOKING BANS IN PUBLIC PLACES, BUSINESSES AND HOTELS. WHEN A SPOKESPERSON FOR NON-SMOKING REGULATIONS CLAIMS THAT IT IS "COMMON SENSE," SHE DOESN'T FOOL ME. LIBERALS WHO PREACH FREE SPEECH AND DEMOCRACY HAVE GOALS THAT ARE TANTAMOUNT TO DICTATORSHIP.
I CONTINUE WITH THE JACKALS WHOSE SELECTIVE COVERAGE OF NEWS REPRESENTS ANTI-AMERICANISM AT ITS WORST. CNN ASKED A YOUNG WOMAN WHO WAS BEING ‘RESCUED' FROM LEBANON DUE TO THE PRESENT WAR THERE WITH ISRAEL. SHE WHINED ABOUT THE SLOWNESS OF HER RESCUE AND INCONVENIENCES SHE ENDURED. HOW COULD SHE EXPECT ANYTHING BETTER "AFTER KATRINA?" SHE SAID. SHE WAS CHOSEN FOR THE INTERVIEW OVER A HOST OF AMERICANS, PATIENT WITH AND GRATEFUL FOR THEIR EXTRACTIONS. THE REPORTER'S CHOICE IS ESPECIALLY UPSETTING BECAUSE IT HIGHLIGHTS A VICTIM, A SPOILED BRAT, WHO MANAGED TO FINANCE HER OWN ENTRANCE INTO LEBANON, FOR WHATEVER REASON, BUT WHEN THE GOING GOT TOUGH, EXPECTED SOMEONE ELSE TO GET HER OUT. THE MEDIA'S BIASED COVERAGE OF KATRINA WAS PATHETIC. THIS INTERVIEW WAS A MORE PATHETIC REPRISAL OF PREJUDICE.

SUN TZU, THE CHINESE WRITER ON WAR, CAUTIONED, "KNOW YOUR ENEMY." IT'S SCARY WHEN THE ENEMY ARE OUR 5TH COLUMN WITHIN THE FREE PRESS.

MUSIC AS RELIGION

LOGIC SOMETIMES ESCAPES ME BUT NOT WHEN I APPLY IT TO THE ARGUMENT THAT POPULAR MUSIC IS LIKE RELIGION. THE BIOLOGIST WILSON SAID RELIGION WAS "SUPERBLY SERVICEABLE TO THE PURPOSES OF WARFARE AND ECONOMIC EXPLOITATION." GIVEN HISTORY'S CARNAGE AND ABUSES OF HELOTRY, I CAN AGREE THAT RELIGION OFTEN INSPIRES UNDESIRABLE EXCESSES. SUBSTITUTE MUSIC, HOWEVER, (WHICH HAS BEEN USEFUL FOR THOUSANDS UPON THOUSANDS OF YEARS) AS A FORM OF RELIGION, AND ANTI-SOCIAL BEHAVIOR FROM IT AND MONIES SQUANDERED ON IT ARE LOGICAL CONSEQUENCES.

THE ANTHROPOLOGIST RAPPAPORT CLAIMED THAT SANCTIFIED STATEMENTS WERE AN ANTIDOTE TO THE "MISUSE OF NEWLY EMERGED POWERS OF LANGUAGE." MAKES SENSE TO ME, SINCE MUSIC TAKES THE FORM OF A RELIGIOUS CEREMONY THAT UNITES PARTICIPANTS IN HIGHER TRUTHS RATHER THAN LIES AND DECEPTIONS THROUGH WORDS. MUSIC, AS A RELIGION, PERFORMS THE FUNCTION OF LEGITIMATING ITSELF AS A SACRED LANGUAGE EXPRESSED THROUGH THE UNIFORMITY OF MESMERIZED LISTENERS.

RELIGION, LANGUAGE AND MUTUAL TRUST, THREE SKILLS THAT HOLD HUMAN SOCIETY TOGETHER UNITE IN THE LOGICAL CONSTRUCT OF MUSIC. ALL WENT RELATIVELY WELL UNTIL SOMEHOW WE SAW THE ENTRY OF THE REPETITIOUS, RUN-ON PHRASE, THE MUSIC I HAVE COME TO HATE. IT IS THE EMBODIMENT OF ALL THAT IS NOT SACRED. PAYING TO LISTEN TO IT MAKES NO ECONOMIC SENSE. IT NEVER LIES ABOUT WHAT IT REPRESENTS, MEDIOCRITY. A STUNNING EXAMPLE OF A REPETITIOUS, RUN-ON PHRASE, MASQUERADING AS A TUNE, A MELODY, A SONG, A SNIPPET OF MUSIC - ALL OF WHICH IT IS NOT- EMBRACED AS PURE RELIGION, IS "BORN IN THE USA," "BORN IN THE USA," "BORN IN THE USA," SCREECHED TO THE MASSES OF BELIEVERS BY ITS BOSS 'ARTIST,' BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN.

APOLOGY

I HAVE BEEN FORCED TO APOLOGIZE TO MYSELF FOR MY ERROR IN THINKING THAT ZINDANE, THE 'GOD' OF FRENCH SOCCER AT THE WORLD CUP COMPETITION, DID NOT APOLOGIZE. ON THE CONTRARY, WHEN HE SAID, "I REACTED BADLY AND I WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE FOR IT," IT WAS THE REAL THING. IT WAS ANOTHER GENUINE APOLOGY WHEN HE ADDED THAT HE DID NOT REGRET THE HEAD BUTTING BECAUSE "THE GUILTY ONE IS THE ONE WHO PROVOKES." ZINDANE'S ADMITTING TO ‘INTIMATIONS OF MORTALITY’ WON HIM A PASS FROM GUILT ON THE WORLD STAGE. ZINDANE EVEN WENT ONE BETTER. HE INADVERTENTLY AND IRONICALLY ALSO APOLOGIZED IN THE MANNER OF THE WORD’S CLASSIC DEFINITION BY HIS DEFENSE OF HIS ACTION.

WEBSTER’S FIRST DEFINITION OF THE WORD, ROOTED IN THE GREEK APOLOGIA, SAVES ZINDANE'S DAY. HIS DECLARATION EQUALS "A FORMAL ACKNOWLEDGMENT OF REGRET FOR HAVING COMMITTED AN ERROR, OFFENSE OR RUDENESS." HIS ADDITIONAL COMMENT EXEMPLIFIES WEBSTER’S SECOND DEFINITION WHEN HE STATED HIS "DEFENSE OR JUSTIFICATION OF A CAUSE OR DOCTRINE." ZINDANE'S SWORD, WITH EQUALLY SHARP DOUBLE-EDGES, CUT TO THE QUICK ANY OBJECTIONS TO HIS BOORISH BEHAVIOR WHEN HIS SECOND APOLOGY FOLLOWED BY HIS FIRST. A WIN-WIN. THE CHANCES OF HIS BEING AWARDED THE LEGION d' HONNEUR ARE ENHANCED.

I MUST APOLOGIZE TO MYSELF BECAUSE I REGRET ERRING ON THE SIDE OF MORALITY. I THOUGHT THAT AN APOLOGY FOR AN OFFENSE SHOULD BE ACCOMPANIED BY THE INTENT TO REFORM AND NOT PERFORM THE ACTION AGAIN. BUT I WAS WRONG. I'M REMINDED OF A FICTIONAL LOVE DEFINED AS "NEVER HAVING TO SAY YOU'RE SORRY." I REALIZED THAT GUILT APPARENTLY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH RUDE OR HURTFUL OR MISTAKEN CONDUCT. TO "LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF" IS THE 2ND BEST COMMANDMENT. NOWADAYS, THE FIRST, THE ORIGINAL ONE TO LOVE GOD, IS REPLACED BY THE RULE, "DENY WRONGDOING."

WISH COME TRUE

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR; YOUR WISH JUST MIGHT COME TRUE. AS FAR BACK AS 1974, THE MOVEMENT TO PRESERVE THE CALL OF THE WILD IN AMERICA WAS HEARD. ENDANGERED-SPECIES LEGISLATION WAS ENACTED BY CONGRESS AND SIGNED BY PRESIDENT NIXON WHEREBY THE WOLF COULD BE PLACED UNDER FEDERAL JURISDICTION BY THE INTERIOR DEPARTMENT. IN 1993 I SUPPORTED THE WOLF EDUCATION AND RESEARCH CENTER IN KETCHUM, IDAHO BY ADOPTING A WOLF FROM THE SAWTOOTH WOLF PACK. I RECEIVED A WOLF SPONSORSHIP CERTIFICATE WHICH CERTIFIED THAT (YES, MY SANITY WAS INTACT) I WAS RECOGNIZED AS AN "OFFICIAL PROTECTOR OF THE GRAY WOLF WHICH INHABITS THE ROCKY MOUNTAINS." MOTOMO, WHOSE NAME IN BLACKFOOT MEANS "HE WHO GOES FIRST," WAS A BLACK WOLF, BORN IN 1992, WITH "BIG FEET AND A BIG HEART." HIS PACK WAS FEATURED ON A DISCOVERY CHANNEL DOCUMENTARY CALLED "WOLVES AT OUR DOOR." MY MOTOMO IS PROBABLY "LONG DEAD AND GONE," BUT HIS KIND IS BACK AND WITHOUT VENGEANCE.

BY 1999, FOUR YEARS AFTER THEIR REINTRODUCTION INTO YELLOWSTONE NATIONAL PARK, WOLVES HAD PROLIFERATED, REACHING APPROXIMATELY 300 INDIVIDUALS. TODAY ABOUT 1,000 WOLVES IN 140 PACKS LIVE IN MONTANA, IDAHO AND WYOMING. A MERE DECADE, THE LIFE SPAN OF A WOLF, HAS ELAPSED. BUT THE RISE IN NUMBERS HAS NOT ALWAYS MADE FOR A KINDER, GENTLER EXISTENCE FOR THE WOLVES. NATURE'S TOOTH AND CLAW IS EXPOSED AS WOLVES KILL EACH OTHER IN TERRITORIAL DISPUTES AND KILL DOMESTIC DOGS WHO INTERFERE WITH THEIR LIFESTYLE. ALSO, EAGER VACATIONERS NOW GO WEST TO GLIMPSE WHAT ONCE WAS A SHIBBOLETH OF FEAR AND TO EXPERIENCE A HOWL. STATE AGENCIES AND THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT SUCH AS THE FISH, WILDLIFE AND PARKS DEPARTMENT OR DEPARTMENT OF FISH AND GAME, "MANAGE WOLVES." THEY INSTRUCT VISITORS TO SCARE A WOLF AWAY BY YELLING, RUNNING AT IT OR PERHAPS USING PEPPER SPRAY, BUT "JUST DON'T HURT IT." ABUSE OF A WOLF WOULD RAISE A HOWL OF PROTEST.

A WRITER, PAUL ERRINGTON PROBABLY USED HYPERBOLE TO MAKE HIS POINT WHEN HE SAID, "WOLVES PRESENT THE GREATEST TEST OF HUMAN WISDOM AND GOOD INTENTIONS." LET'S HOPE THEIR RETURN REMAINS POSITIVE. IT CERTAINLY HAS BEEN PROFITABLE BOTH FOR MAN AND BEAST. A WOLF PACK'S HOWL, RAISED ON A CLEAR, COLD NIGHT, UNDOUBTEDLY, IS HAUNTINGLY BEAUTIFUL MUSIC, AN UNEXPECTED GIFT. COYOTES HOWL TOO. I WAS GRACED WITH THEIR MUSIC ON TWO OCCASIONS. IT SUBSTITUTED AS A GHOSTLY VISIT FROM MY LONG, LOST MOTOMO.

SPOILED

TO SPOIL IS "TO IMPAIR CHARACTER BY OVERINDULGENCE," WEBSTER READS. MY OH MY, AMERICANS ARE SPOILED.

SPOILED WITH THE LAZINESS OF THE ABLE-BODIED WHO UTILIZE SCOOTERS. AT DISNEY WORLD AND IN LAS VEGAS CASINOS, THERE ARE THOSE WHO WOULD SPOIL THEMSELVES WITH A RIDE RATHER THAN WALK, SOMETIMES WITH THE EXCUSE THAT THEY SAVE ENERGY FOR "DANCING" OR MORE IMPORTANT PURSUITS.
SPOILED WITH THE MISGUIDED RATIONALE OF ACCOMMODATION OF KILLERS.

POLITICIANS CALL FOR SPOILING CAPTURED AL QAEDA FIGHTERS (WHO WANT TO KILL US), WITH MORE HUMANE AND LESS DEGRADING TREATMENT SO THAT THEY WILL BE "TOUCHED BY OUR KIND TREATMENT" THEY DID NOT EXPECT.

SPOILED WITH LIVING SO EASY THAT CITIZENS WOULD NEVER CONSIDER EMIGRATION. COMPLAIN AS THEY WILL ABOUT HOW TOUGH IT IS TO "GET AHEAD" HERE, THEY KNOW THEY CAN FIND NO COUNTRY IN WHICH THEY COULD BE AS SPOILED WITH FREEDOM AS IN THEIR NATIVE LAND.

SPOILED WITH SELFISH PURSUITS IN THE NAME OF THE AMERICAN DREAM. THE MAYOR OF LOS ANGELES, FOR EXAMPLE, HAPPILY OVER-EXERCISES AND HOBNOBBING WITH THE PUBLIC NON-STOP DURING HIS DAYS AND BARELY SLEEPING AT NIGHTS.

SPOILED AMERICANS OVERINDULGE AT THE COST OF IMPAIRED COMMON SENSE. LAZY LIVING AND LAZY THINKING PAIR AND CONTRAST WITH EXCESSES IN LIFESTYLES AND EXCESSES OF IMAGINATION. THE AMERICAN CHARACTER IS SERIOUSLY IMPAIRED.

"OH, GOD"

WHEN I READ OR LISTEN TO THE NEWS I HEAR MY MUEZZIN CALL. MY PRAYER USUALLY INVOLVES THE MANTRA, "OH, GOD." OH GOD, WHY DO WE NEED A SPECIAL POLICE TASK FORCE TO SERVE WARRANTS AND INITIATE A BLANKET CRIME SWEEP AND DRUG RAID? I THOUGHT THE EVERYDAY JOB OF OUR SERVANTS "IN BLUE" IS TO SCOOP THE CRIMINALS OFF THE STREETS, MAKE ARRESTS AND MAINTAIN VIGILANCE. BUT SUCH A PIECE OF LOCAL NEWS IS NOT NEWS; IT IS AN ADMISSION OF LASSITUDE PREVALENT NOT JUST AT POLICE AND SHERIFFS' DEPARTMENTS, BUT IN MANY SERVICE SECTORS OF OUR SOCIETY.

OH GOD, WHY DO WE NEED AFTER-SCHOOL READING PROGRAMS THAT EDUCATORS LIKE TO BRAGG ABOUT, WHEN WE PUMP MONEY INTO BAD SCHOOLS WITH OVERPAID TEACHERS IN WHICH STUDENTS DON'T MASTER BASIC READING SKILLS? AGAIN, SUCH A FAILURE TO SERVE SEEMS TO CHARACTERIZE BUREAUCRACIES, TOP-HEAVY WITH ADMINISTRATION AND LIGHT ON PERFORMANCE.

OH GOD, WHY DO AMERICAN COLLEGES AND UNIVERSITIES STAFF THOUSANDS OF LAWYERS TO SERVE THEIR NEEDS? THE SHEER NUMBER OF THESE LAWYERS, BY THE WAY, IS TWENTY TIMES THAT OF GREAT BRITAIN. OH GOD, ARE THEY REALLY NECESSARY TO PROTECT INDIVIDUAL RIGHTS? FOR EXAMPLE, TORTS HAVE BEEN FILED AND CASES WON WHICH PROVE THAT SCHOOLS OF HIGHER EDUCATION ARE ACCOUNTABLE FOR THE MENTAL HEALTH OF THEIR STUDENTS. LAWYERS PLUS MONETARY REWARDS WILL NEVER BALANCE ON THE SCALE WITH PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY AND COMMON SENSE. THE GREEK GODDESS THEMIS IS APPROPRIATELY BLIND TO THESE SHENANIGANS OF THE SHYLOCKS.(SHAKESPEARE’S LAWYER IN THE MERCHANT OF VENICE.)

PSALM 151

HOW LONG LORD?
UGLY WORDS, UGLY DEEDS,
WROUGHT IN THE NAME OF RIGHT.
NOT BLESSED THOSE DEFILERS,
PERVERSE SERVANTS
CURSING THE RIGHTEOUS
PROFANING THE UPRIGHT.

THE FEAR OF THE LORD
INSPIRES NO WISDOM,
IN TERRORISTS ABROAD.
HEAR MY VOICE OH GOD,
BE MERCIFUL UNTO ME, OH GOD,
DELIVER ME FROM MINE ENEMIES.
WILT THOU HIDE THYSELF FOREVER?

"HOW THOU ART FALLEN
FROM HEAVEN, OH LUCIFER,"
NOW RAMPAGING ON EARTH!
THE DESIRE OF POWER
THEN THE CAUSE;
POWER YET THE CALL.

HEADBUTT INSIGHT

WHEN WATCHING T.V.'S INSIDE EDITION I KNOW I'M BEING SUCKED INTO THE VORTEX OF INANITY. BUT HAVING NOT WATCHED THE WORLD CUP SOCCER'S FINAL MATCH, I GOT MY GLIMPSE OF FRENCH SOCCER STAR, ZINDANE'S FAUX PAS FROM SNIPPETS ON THE TUBE. IN REFLECTION, AN INSIGHT HIT ME. DOES THIS ACTION NOT CHARACTERIZE THE BASIC BEHAVIORAL FLAW IN THE MIDDLE EAST AND THE ARAB WORLD? PALESTINIANS CANNOT SHAKE THEIR HATRED OF ISRAELIS. AND VICE VERSA. SHITE MUSLIMS AND SUNNI MUSLIMS CANNOT DISCARD THEIR ANTIPATHY EITHER. WHAT DO THESE COMBATANTS CONTINUE TO DO? HEADBUTT EACH OTHER INTO OBLIVION. THEY LACK SELF-CONTROL, THE SELF-DISCIPLINE TO REFRAIN FROM ATTACK IN SPITE OF THE SIEGE OF AGE-OLD GRUDGES AND PREJUDICES. SELF-CONTROL ALSO ESCAPED ZINDANE. ONE FEELS COMPELLED TO WONDER IF ZINDANE'S ALGERIAN ROOTS DESCEND INTO ISLAM GIVEN HIS MUSLIM ANCESTRY.

THE HEADBUTTING INCIDENT SHOWS THE SELF-DESTRUCTIVE ROOTS OF ANCIENT HATREDS PLAYED OUT WITH A LACK OF SELF-DISCIPLINE. IT PROVED MORE POWERFUL THAT WINNING THE WORLD CUP. UNHARNESSED IT CONTINUES TO MANIFEST ITSELF AROUND THE GLOBE. AS AN ASIDE I NOTE THAT ISLAMIST TERRORISTS CONTINUE TO HEADBUTT THEIR INFIDEL ENEMIES.

LIFE'S MEANING

THIS IS ANOTHER E-MAIL TO GLENN BECK, CONSERVATIVE RADIO TALK SHOW HOST. LORDY, LORDY, LORDY, WHY HAVE YOU NOT READ OR HEEDED MY PREVIOUS E-MAILS? YES, YOU ARE ALL ABOUT GREED, 'WANTING IT ALL'. TODAY YOU ADMITTED TO FEELINGS THAT YOU STILL HAVE NOT ACHIEVED PEACE. TAKE A LESSON FROM THE DINKY, SOCCER IDIOT FROM FRANCE, ZINDANE AND GIVE IT UP. GIVE UP THE STRUGGLE TO CONQUER THE INNATE DEMONS LET LOSE AT YOUR BIRTH OR TO USE A PHRASE FROM THE PULITZER PRIZE-WINNING AMERICAN MAN OF LETTERS, VAN WYCK BROOKS, YOU WILL LIVE FOREVER DISSATISFIED IN A "PALPITANT DESERT."

I TIRE EASILY EACH MORNING OF YOUR "I." YOU NEVER DO. YOUR ID, EGO AND SUPEREGO ARE ROLLED INTO ONE DISCONTENTED, "I." IF YOU CAN SEE THROUGH THE LIE ABOUT SECOND-HAND SMOKE YOU OUGHT TO BE ABLE TO SEE THROUGH THE LIES TOLD BY YOUR MONEY, SUCCESS, TRAVELS, MATERIAL GOODS AND WORLDLY ADDICTIONS, FUELED BY YOUR SELF-DIAGNOSED A.D.D. BASICALLY, YOU THINK TOO MUCH. CHARLES CHURCHILL SAID: "WITH CURIOUS ART THE BRAIN, TOO FINELY WROUGHT, PREYS ON HERSELF, AND IS DESTROYED BY THOUGHT." GET IT? THINKING TOO MUCH IS MY PROBLEM AT TIMES TOO, GLENN, BUT I KNOW THAT THE SOLUTION IS TO WHITE-OUT MY "I."

PERHAPS AN INSPIRATIONAL EXAMPLE WILL DO. A COSMOPOLITAN SEEKS TO BE A CITIZEN OF THE WORLD, A STRANGER TO NO PLACE. HE OR SHE IS ROOTED IN MATERIALISM, NOT TO HIGHER MEANINGS. FAMOUS, EARLY AMERICANS, JEFFERSON, FRANKLIN AND PAINE, THREE LIBERALS AND OFTENTIMES PHONIES, SOUGHT TO RISE ABOVE THE PAROCHIAL AND MUNDANE BY ENQUIRY AND COSMOPOLITAN PURSUITS. BUT WHAT TWO PAST PRESIDENTS MOST OFTEN GARNER THE LAUREL WREATHS FOR MOST ADMIRED, MOST IMPORTANT OR GREATEST LEADERS? LINCOLN AND WASHINGTON, TWO LOCAL BOYS, SELF-EFFACING, UNINTERESTED IN GLOBE-TROTTING, POWER OR GLORY, WHO KNEW THAT YOU CAN NEVER "HAVE IT ALL." YET, AS MEN OF RESIGNATION AND CHARACTER THEY ACHIEVED GREAT THINGS. ASK YOUR SELF, GLENN, LIKE ALFIE, "WHAT'S IT ALL ABOUT," COSMOPOLITANISM OR ROOTS?

THE BUDDHA (THE ENLIGHTENED) ANSWERS THAT HAPPINESS DOES NOT RESIDE IN FINDING AND 'PURSUING YOUR PASSION.' ITS SECRET RESIDES IN SURRENDER TO SELFLESSNESS, RESIGNATION TO LIFE'S LIMITATIONS. IT ALLOWS, OF COURSE, FOR SAMPLING UNSELFISH LOVE (FAMILY, GOD, CAUSE) UNENCUMBERED BY WORLDLY ADDICTIONS AND SIMPLE PLEASURES OR JOBS WELL DONE. GLENN, WHY NOT JOIN THE RANKS OF NORMALS WHO JUST GO ON LIVING WITHOUT CONTINUAL INTROSPECTIONS, SOME TIMES WITH BOREDOM AND MOST TIMES WITHOUT 'HAVING IT ALL?' THAT'S THE PATH THAT MY PAROCHIAL, LOSER SELF, ROOTED TO A COUNTRY LANE, TRIES TO FOLLOW.

A BARGAIN

HAVE A BONE TO PICK WITH THOSE COMPLAINING ABOUT POVERTY IN AMERICA. THERE NEED BE NO SUCH THING. TO PARAPHRASE PSALM 23, "THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD; THERE IS NOTHING I LACK"...IF EYES ARE KEPT OPEN FOR BARGAINS AT WAL-MART. AS THE DYNAMIC DUO OF DISCOUNTS, MY HUSBAND AND I KEEP OUR OPTIONS OPEN. MY HUSBAND SPIED A COMPLETE 12LB. TURKEY DINNER REDUCED TO $12.00 FROM THE ORIGINAL PRICE OF $29.99. A COMPLETE 10-12 LB. OVEN-ROASTED TYSON TURKEY, 2 LB. CORNBREAD STUFFING, 2 LB. SEASONED MASHED POTATOES AND 30 OZ. GIBLET GRAVY. SERVES 8 - 10. THE BOX WAS OPENED SO WE CHECKED THAT ALL COMPONENTS WERE ENCLOSED. "LEST THE BARGAIN SHOULD CATCH COLD AND STARVE," AS WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE THE GREAT DRAMATIST OBSERVED, MY HUSBAND AND I SNATCHED UP THE HEAVY TWO-HANDLED BOX. JULY IS THE PERFECT TIME FOR A MID-YEAR THANKSGIVING FEAST. THE CONTENTS WERE IN-STORE FROZEN SO AN OVERNIGHT WAS NECESSARY FOR DEFROSTING.

NEXT DAY I WENT WHOLE 'HOG.' FIRST I RESERVED TWO PORTIONS EACH FROM THE STUFFING, MASHED POTATOES AND GRAVY FOR OUR NEXT DAY’S MEAL. THEN I WALKED THE CONTAINERS TO THE STORAGE FREEZER. THEN I TACKLED THE BIRD WITH A SHARP, HEAVY KNIFE. I DISMEMBERED IT CAREFULLY, BARE-HANDED, PIONEER STYLE. I WORKED UP SEPARATE PACKAGES OF 2 LEGS, 2 BONE-IN PIECES, 2 OTHER BONE-IN PIECES, 2 HUGE BREASTS, ONE POUND EACH, 2 PACKS ONE, WHITE AND ONE DARK OF MISCELLANEOUS MEAT. I ACCUMULATED ONE HUGE BOWL OF SKIN AND FAT FOR A SUPPLEMENT TO THE USUAL SUSTENANCE OF THE DOG OVER THE COURSE OF UPCOMING DAYS AND ONE SMALL BOWL OF MEAT SCRAPS FOR THE 2 CATS. THEN I PLACED THE LEFTOVER BONES WITH CLINGING MEAT INTO A POT WITH A FEW CUPS OF WATER AND BOILED THIS DOWN FOR ABOUT 30 MINUTES FOR A TURKEY BROTH. I ALSO COOKED A SMALL AMOUNT OF RICE NOODLES (WHICH ONLY REQUIRE 3 MINUTES OF BOILING) AND TOSSED THEM WITH A PORTION OF FROZEN CARROTS (RETRIEVED FROM THE FREEZER) INTO THE STRAINED BROTH. THEN I PUT THE BROTH INTO THE FREEZER TO CHILL SO THAT I COULD SKIM OFF THE FAT LATER. I PICKED THROUGH THE DISCARDS TO OBTAIN LEFTOVER MEAT SCRAPS FOR THE CATS ADDING THEM TO THEIR SMALL BOWL. THE MOTTO OF A TRUE BARGAIN HUNTER IS "WASTE NOT WANT NOT." MY TAKE OF SOUP CAME TO 6 SERVINGS.

BARGAINS NOT ONLY PROVIDE MENTAL SATISFACTION THEY ALSO RESULT IN PHYSICAL EXERCISE. TWO HOURS STANDING WHILE CUTTING UP MY BIRD AND MANY TRIPS TO THE FREEZER BURN A FEW CALORIES. WHEN I ACCIDENTALLY FLIPPED MY KNIFE INTO THE AIR, IT CUT MY FINGER AS IT FELL TO THE FLOOR. MY EXPERIENCE WAS OBVIOUSLY NOT WITHOUT AN ELEMENT OF RISK.

HOW MUCH DID WE SAVE ON OUR SHOPPING FIND? ACTUALLY, NOT THE $17.99 DIFFERENCE BETWEEN RETAIL AND REDUCED PRICE, SINCE MY HUSBAND AND I NEVER WOULD HAVE BOUGHT THE PREMIUM TYSON TURKEY DINNER IN THE FIRST PLACE. A $.29 A LB. TURKEY FOR THANKSGIVING USUALLY HAS SUFFICED. MY POTATOES, DRESSING AND GRAVY ARE USUALLY HOME-MADE BUT SUBSTITUTIONS OFFER A CHANGE OF PACE. THE 22 CENTS FOR ONE CAN OF 'CHEAP' CAT FOOD WAS REPLACED BY 2 SERVINGS OF SCRAPS FOR THE CATS. WHAT'S INCALCULABLE WILL BE THE DOG'S DAILY DELIGHT AND THE KNOWLEDGE THAT I'LL PROBABLY SERVE TURKEY FOR TWO A TOTAL OF 9 TIMES, SERVE SOUP FOR TWO AND MASHED POTATOES AND CORNBREAD STUFFING AND GRAVY THRICE. A BARGAIN AT $12.00 AND TIME SERVED.

MY ROLE IN THIS ADVENTURE WAS THREE-FOLD: DEFROST, DISMEMBER AND DISPENSE. MY HUSBAND'S WAS A MINIMAL QUARTET: TO SPY THE BARGAIN, TO CARRY IT INTO THE HOUSE, TO LOCK THE DOG AND 2 CATS OUT OF THE KITCHEN WHILE I WORKED AND TO TAKE THE FROZEN, DISCARDED BONES - WRAPPED IN NEWSPAPER AND SECURED NEATLY WITH MASKING TAPE - OUT TO THE TRASH BIN.

BARGAIN HUNTING ALONE, DISCOUNT SHOPPING IF YOU WILL, NEED NOT BE THE ONLY PATH OUT OF POVERTY AND INTO RICH REWARDS. PAYING JUST A MINIMUM OF ATTENTION TO THE COST OF DAILY LIVING WILL DO NICELY.

DARE TO SAY NO

CURRENT POPULAR BLATHER SWIRLS AROUND MEDICAL AND MENTAL DISORDERS, ILLNESSES, DISEASES AND DISABILITIES. NO ONE IS EXEMPT EXCEPT ... THE PERVERTED. WHAT DISTURBS ME IS THE PROMOTION AND ACCEPTANCE OF SEXUAL PERVERSION AND, MORE SERIOUSLY, THE COATING OVER OF THE SIN OF PERVERSION ITSELF.

IT IS TYPICAL TO READ THAT AN 8-YEAR OLD "THOUGHT SHE WAS A LESBIAN," HAVING DEVELOPED A "SERIOUS CRUSH ON HER BEST FRIEND." SHE IS TYPICAL OF YOUTH WHO CAN'T SAY NO TO THEIR ATTRACTIONS UNTIL THEY EXPERIENCE "IT." I READ HOW AN 18 YR. OLD HID HIS SEXUAL ORIENTATION FOR YEARS, BUT FINALLY "GOT TIRED OF PRETENDING HE WAS STRAIGHT." I READ ABOUT THE PRIDE FELT WHEN ONE "COMES OUT," AND PARADES FORTH. I READ THAT "SCHOOLS, CHURCHES AND GOVERNMENT HAVE FAILED" THOSE WHO HAVE DISCOVERED THEIR GAY, LESBIAN, BISEXUAL OR TRANSGENDERED SELVES. I READ THAT THE PERVERSE AND THEIR SUPPORTERS GIVE CARTE BLANCHE TO SELF-WORTH ACKNOWLEDGING THAT GAYS ARE NOW PART OF "MAINSTREAM SOCIETY." THEIR SUPPORTERS OFTEN POINT OUT THAT SINCE HOLLYWOOD AND THE SITCOM WORLD NORMALIZE AND LEGITIMIZE HOMOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS, WHY CAN'T SOCIETY AS A WHOLE?

THE HIGHER OUR LEVEL OF CIVILIZATION, THE LOWER OUR UNDERSTANDING OF HUMAN NATURE. DESPITE THEIR WISDOM, SOCIOLOGISTS, PSYCHOLOGISTS AND PSYCHIATRISTS GALORE ARE UNABLE TO UNDERSTAND THAT YOUNG PEOPLE ARE, BY DEFINITION, UNDEVELOPED AND PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY IMMATURE. GIRLS AND BOYS ARE NOT MEN AND WOMEN. THEY DISCOVER WHAT THEY CONSIDER - IN THEIR INCOMPLETE PSYCHES - TO BE SERIOUS CRUSHES ON THE MEMBERS OF THE SAME SEX . THESE NORMAL PLAYS FOR PEER APPROVAL AND RELATIONSHIPS, HOWEVER, SHOULD NOT BE PERVERTED INTO SOMETHING SEXUAL. WHY DOES OUR CULTURE TOLERATE THIS PERVERSION? WHY DOESN’T SOCIETY GUIDE YOUTH THROUGH THIS TRANSITIONAL PERIOD WITH PROPER MORAL IMPERATIVES? ADOLESCENTS UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF RAMPANT HORMONES AND EXPANDING EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL HORIZONS FOLLOW PATHS OF DISCOVERY THAT OFTEN LEAD TO "PUPPY LOVES." WHY DOES CULTURE LEGITIMIZE PERVERSION AS NORMALCY?

I MYSELF WAS NOT IMMUNE TO SEEKING FRIENDSHIPS AND INTIMACY WITH SAME SEX PEERS. BUT INNOCENCE PREVAILED. THE CRUSHES WERE SECRETED FROM ADULTS, SILLY IN RETROSPECT, BUT TOTALLY NON-SEXUAL AND SINLESS. THEN I GREW UP. STATISTICALLY, THE GAY POPULATION IS MINUSCULE, PROBABLY UNDER 2%, BUT NUMBERS HAVE BEEN PERVERTED. POLITICIANS AND ACTIVISTS PUSH THEIR LIBERAL, GAY AGENDA DOWN THE THROATS OF NORMALS. D.A.R.E. DARES YOUTH TO SAY NO TO DRUGS, BUT YOUTH ARE DRUGGED IN RETURN BY THE OPIATE OF PERVERTED MORALS.

WAR OR PEACE

IF I WERE INTERVIEWED BY MARK TWAIN WHO WAS SAMPLING THE LOCAL PATOIS, I'D OFFER MY SAGE ADVICE WITH APPROPRIATE LOCAL COLOR. HERE IS MY ONE-TWO PUNCH. "IF I'VE NEVER HAD ONE, YOU CAN LIVE WITHOUT IT "... "THE KOOK FRINGE WANTS TO PURIFY THE DEMOCRAT PARTY BY STAGING ANOTHER REVOLUTION."

I’VE ARRIVED AT THIS DYNAMIC DUO OF TRUTH HAVING OBSERVED HUMANKIND. FROM THE PRIVILEGED LIVES OF THE ELITE, I CONCLUDE THAT THE RICH AND FAMOUS, THE SUCCESSFUL AND THE SOUGHT-AFTERS ARE BASICALLY NO BETTER OFF THAN I. MARK TWAIN HIMSELF COULD RELATE TO THIS FACT, HAVING STRIVED FOR FAME BUT REAPED DISSATISFACTION OFTEN IN LIFE. MEN (AND SOME MANLY WOMEN) HAVE PURSUED WORLDLY GAIN AS IF AT WAR, DRIVEN TO PURSUE RISKS. EXAMPLES TODAY RANGE FROM TECHNO-UTOPIANS, VENTURE CAPITALISTS AND SUPER STARS TO HEDGE FUND MANAGERS, BILLIONAIRES AND MILLIONAIRE OWNERS OF PRIVATE JETS AND MULTIPLE HOMES. I HAVEN'T A CLUE WHAT THEY ARE ABOUT; NEITHER DO I CARE. TODAY, CATTLE DRIVES PERSIST IN ALTERNATIVE FORMS, STILL MOTIVATED BY FINANCIAL GAIN . FROM ONE WHO HAS NEVER HAD ONE - FOR EXAMPLE, A FANCY STEAK, A BRAND NAME PRODUCT OR AN EXPENSIVE ANYTHING - I SAY SIMPLE SATISFACTIONS FROM THE WONDERS OF NATURE AND SEX AND A MODEST FINANCIAL SECURITY SHOULD SUFFICE.

A SCARIER PHENOMENA IS THE LOGICAL EXTENSION OF WHAT EXTREME LEFTISTS, LIBERALS, SO-CALLED PROGRESSIVES WOULD DO TO ATTAIN THEIR GOAL OF PURIFY THEIR PARTY. I HAVE DELIBERATELY TRIED TO UNDERSTAND THEIR RATIONALE, TO KNOW MY ENEMY. TO UNDERSTAND THEIR AGENDA. IT INVOLVES WHAT IN RUSSIA, GERMANY, FRANCE, CUBA AND CHINA FOR EXAMPLE, WERE DOWNRIGHT REVOLUTIONS. THEY WEREN’T PRETTY PICTURES EITHER. NOR WERE THEY CONCOCTED OUT OF PURE IDEALS. THE CONSEQUENCES WERE FRIGHTFUL HELLS. AMERICAN SHOULD BE FEARFUL BECAUSE FEAR OF THAT ABYSS OF SUFFERING TRADITIONALLY RUNS DEEP. WAR IS HELL, EVEN MARK TWAIN DECRIED IT WHEN AMERICA SPLIT AND FOUGHT A CIVIL WAR OVER SLAVERY.

WAR IN THE PURSUIT OF MONEY OR AN EXTREME LIBERAL AGENDA IS HELL.

PEACE, ACCORDING THE WRITER HENRY DAVID THOREAU AND THE BUDDHA IS FOUND IN SIMPLICITY.

NO WINE BEFORE ITS PRICE

EYES FORWARD IN MY FAVORITE CHAIR I CATCH SIGHT OF THREE SEPARATE VULTURES RIDING THE THERMALS, OUTLINED AS GRACEFUL GLIDERS AGAINST A PALE BLUE SKY PATCHED WITH COTTON CLOUDS, SEARCHING FOR TASTY MEALS. I TOO LOOK FORWARD TO A SATISFYING DINNER, BUT MINE IS ACCOMPANIED WITH WHAT THE POET OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES CALLED, "THE GRAND SPECIFIC AGAINST DULL DINNERS." WINE. FAR LESS VARIETY IS AVAILABLE TO THE SCAVANGERS OF THE SKIES THAN ME, THE FOOD-APPRECIATIVE OMNIVORE, BUT OUR SHARED OPERATIONAL PHILOSOPHY IS THE LOW COST.

THE ENJOYMENT OF VARIETALS HAS ITS PRICE; MINE APPROACHES THE VANISHING POINT. WHO CAN JUSTIFY SIPPING OR GULPING AN EXPENSIVE BOTTLE OF WINE OTHER THAN SAMPLERS PAID TO EVALUATE IT? WHO CAN WRITE, OTHER THAN A SUBSIDIZED OENOPHILE, THAT A "TASTY VACATION WINE," CAN BE FOUND FOR LESS THAN $30.00 A BOTTLE? MY DAILY VACATION IS DINNER WITH A GLASS OF CHEAP, RED WINE. AS A GOOD, PARSIMONIOUS STEWARD OF THE LAND OF MODERATION, I WOULD FACE THE GUILT OF A THOUSAND SINS IF I JUSTIFIED A WINE PRICED AT MORE THAN $5.00 A BOTTLE. FOR REGULAR CONSUMPTION, IT HAS BEEN RELATIVELY EASY TO BE SATISFIED WITH MY $3.00 NECTARS. THE PRICE OF MEAT PER POUND MUST ALSO FOLLOW A SIMILAR, SET LIMIT.

DISNEY WORLD, INCLUDING THE DISNEY CRUISE LINE, OPENS MORE THAN A MILLION BOTTLES OF WINE A YEAR. READING BETWEEN THESE WORDS, ITS APPARENT THAT VACATIONERS, DISNEY, WINE AND SUMPTIOUS MEALS ADD UP TO TASTES WAY BEYOND MY MEANS AND CHOICES.

ABRIDGED PSALM

MAKE ME RIGHTEOUS, LORD,
MY ROCK OF AGES,
MY FORTRESS AGAINST THE FOE,
MY REFUGE IN THE STORM,
MY SHIELD IN BATTLE,
MY DELIVERER FROM THE ENEMY,
MY LIGHT IN THE DARKNESS,
MY PORTION,
MY SHEPHERD,
MY STRENGTH,
MY SALVATION.
PRAISE HIM! PRAISE HIM!
SELAH!

THE LONG WALK

RALPH WALDO EMERSON, THE REVERED MID-19TH CENTURY WRITER, OFTEN STEPPED INTO THE WOODS NEAR CONCORD MASSACHUSETTS FOR AN UNSPOILED WALK. HIS CAPACIOUS MIND FILLED TO OVERFLOWING WITH TRANSCENDENTAL IDEAS. THERE WAS NO SANITIZED BIKE TRAIL OR BLAZED PATH PAVED BY PUBLIC TAXES FOR HIS DISTINCT PLEASURES. EMERSON PENNED HIS THOUGHTS AFTER COMMUNING WITH NATURE, CHAMPIONING WHAT HE TERMED, THE "OVER SOUL," THE HIDDEN, ECSTATIC AND SACRED CENTER WITHIN EACH HUMAN BEING.

NIETZSCHE, THE NIHILISTIC, GERMAN PHILOSOPHER, FOLLOWED, EMERSON'S TRAIL WITH HIS CONCEPT OF THE "SUPERMAN." MUCH LATER, OVER THE SAME SOD, STOMPED THE HIPPIES, THE DROP-OUTS AND THE VISIONARIES FROM THE 60'S, 70'S AND EACH SUCCESSIVE DECADE UP TO THE PRESENT DAY.

BIKE TRAILS ARE THE CURRENT GOVERNMENT SPONSORED 'RAGE'. PUBLIC MONIES (FROM TAXES) ARE INCORPORATED INTO THE GOVERNMENT'S BUDGET TO BUILD AND MAINTAIN THESE SUPPOSEDLY IMPORTANT SPACES. FEMA, THE FEDERAL DISASTER AGENCY, EVEN HELPED CLEANUP ONE SUCH SERIES OF WALKING TRAILS AFTER A DEVASTATING STORM. ENTHUSIASTS ARE NOT ASKED TO DIVE INTO WILD, BUGGY OR SHADY UNDERGROWTH (FILLED WITH BIRDSONG) WHEN THEY FOLLOW A TRAIL IN CONTEMPORARY AMERICA. THESE SOLITARY HAVENS FOR THOUGHT, THESE UNNATURALLY LANDSCAPED SOURCES OF INSPIRATION THAT COULD BE TRANSMUTED INTO POETRY OR PROSE IMITATIVE OF AN EMERSON, SADLY, ARE NOT COMMONLY FREQUENTED IN 2006. MUSIC FESTIVALS, NASCAR RACES, MOVIE COMPLEXES, SPORTS VENUES, SHOPPING MALLS AND PLASMA SCREENS ARE OUR MAGNETS FOR ENORMOUS CROWDS I SUSPECT THEY WERE NOT AS CROWDED AS POPULAR, PUBLIC GATHERINGS IN EMERSON'S TIME EITHER.

DEMOCRAT GOVERNOR CORZINE OF THE BANKRUPT STATE OF NEW JERSEY THINKS LEADERSHIP IS TELLING THE PEOPLE HOW THINGS ARE. WRONG. LEADERSHIP PROVIDES A VISION FOR THE FUTURE. IT HAS REVEALED ITSELF THROUGH THE WORDS AND ACTIONS OF PAST REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTS, ABRAHAM LINCOLN AND RONALD REAGAN. RALPH WALDO EMERSON ALSO LED BY HIS EXAMPLE OF INTROSPECTION WHILE MEANDERING THROUGH THE WOODS AND WILD PLACES OF EARLY AMERICA. HIS WAS THE VANGUARD OF THE NON-CONFORMIST AND CONTRARIAN MOVEMENT. HIS SECRET PASSWORD WAS "THINKING," A SOLITARY PAST-TIME, RARELY DISCOVERED AND PAST ITS PRIME TIME TODAY. .

AS IF

WE COMMEMORATE OUR INDEPENDENCE TODAY, JULY 4TH, TO ACT AS WE PLEASE. DO WE CHOOSE TO ACT "AS IF" WE ARE SMART? "AS IF" IS NOT JUST A GAME PLAYED BY HISTORIANS; IT IS A PROVEN, PRODUCTIVE THERAPY. BUT MILLIONS OF AMERICANS PERSIST IN DAILY DISPLAYING WHAT GERTRUDE STEIN, THE WRITER, CALLED THE "IMBECILITIES OF THE MULTITUDE." HOW STUPID ARE WE TO RUN THE WORLD'S LARGEST 10K FOOT RACE IN ATLANTA, GEORGIA ON THE FOURTH OF JULY, A GENUINE WASTE OF FEET! HOW STUPID ARE WE TO ENABLE ENVIRONMENTAL ACTIVISTS TO PASS THE 'MARINE MAMMAL PROTECTION ACT' WHICH RESTRICTS THE USE OF SONAR TO FIND ENEMY SUBMARINES! IT'S NOT RHETORICAL TO ASK THE QUESTION, WHERE ARE THE "ETERNAL AND NECESSARY HUMAN VALUES," THAT EVEN PESSIMISTS LIKE THE WRITER F. SCOTT FITZGERALD, ADMITTED WERE HELD BY AMERICANS SOMEWHERE DEEP-ROOTED IN THEIR SOULS?

IF WE ACT "AS IF" WE POSSESS COMMON SENSE, ACT "AS IF" WE ARE MOVING FORWARD, HALF THE BATTLE FOR A BRIGHTER FUTURE IS WON. IN THE THREE DAY BATTLE OF GETTYSBURG DURING THE CIVIL WAR, WHICH WAS FOUGHT OVER THE JULY 4TH WEEKEND IN 1863, UNION GENERALS HAD, UP TO THAT POINT IN THE CONFLICT, NOT ACTED AS IF THEY MEANT TO WIN. MCDOWELL, MCCLELLAN, POPE, MCCLELLAN AGAIN, BURNSIDE, HOOKER, AND FINALLY MEADE REPRESENTED A SUCCESSION OF LEADERS APPOINTED BY PRESIDENT LINCOLN. ONLY LATER IN THE COURSE OF THIS NATIONAL SLAUGHTER, DID THE MAN EMERGE WHO ACTED "AS IF" HE INTENDED TO WIN. GENERAL U.S. GRANT BECAME KNOWN AS 'UNCONDITIONAL SURRENDER' GRANT, BUT TO ME HIS HEROISM LAY IN THE "AS IF" ATTITUDE FOR SUCCESS EMBEDDED IN HIS CHARACTER.

TWO EARLY AMERICAN FOUNDING FATHERS, PRESIDENTS JOHN ADAMS AND THOMAS JEFFERSON, IRONICALLY, DIED ON THE SAME DAY, JULY 4TH. THEY ALSO ACTED "AS IF" THEIR IDEAS WERE IMPORTANT TO AMERICA’S FOUNDLING DEMOCRACY, AND TRULY THEY WERE TERRIBLY SO TO THIS COUNTRY'S SUCCESS AS A NATION.

FAST FORWARD TO 2006. IF THE RICH, POWERFUL AND FAMOUS ELITE STILL HAVE NOT UNDERSTOOD THE REDEMPTIVE NATURE OF ACTING "AS IF" THEY ARE SMART, IT IS UP TO US STUPID CITIZENS TO SET AN EXAMPLE. FREEDOM DAY, JULY 4TH, IS JUST THE DAY TO START.

BE AN AMERICAN

I'M MAD AS HELL AND I WON'T TAKE IT ANYMORE, WHAT ABOUT YOU? THE NEW MOVIE, SUPERMAN RETURNS, HAS PREMIERED AROUND THE FOURTH OF JULY. SO FAR, IN 5 DAYS, IT HAS GROSSED 84.5 MILLION DOLLARS. HOW STUPID DOES HOLLYWOOD THINK THE AMERICAN PEOPLE ARE? STUPID ENOUGH TO PAY MONEY TO HEAR FROM ONE OF THE MOVIE’S CHARACTERS THAT THEIR NATIONAL HERO, SUPERMAN, HAS CHANGED HIS MISSION TO FIGHT FOR "TRUTH, JUSTICE AND THE AMERICAN WAY" TO "TRUTH, JUSTICE AND ALL THAT?" STUPID ENOUGH TO BE SUBLIMINALLY INFLUENCED BY ANTI-AMERICAN MESSAGES FROM 5TH COLUMNIST FILM MAKERS, WRITERS, DIRECTORS AND PERFORMERS WITHOUT THE BACKBONE TO REFUSE "TO TAKE IT ANYMORE?" STUPID ENOUGH TO THROUGH MONEY AT THOSE WHO DERIVE PLEASURE FROM TRIUMPHING OVER MASS STUPIDITY?

ORDINARY CITIZENS IN A LOCAL PAPER WERE ASKED WHAT IS THE 'AMERICAN WAY?' AND THEIR RESPONSES WERE PRINTED. BOTH SIDES OF THE POLITICAL FENCE WERE REPRESENTED, LIBERAL AND THE CONSERVATIVE, BUT THE COMMON DENOMINATOR WAS RESPECT FOR EACH OTHERS’ RIGHTS. THE AMERICAN WAY IS NOT THE WAY OF CIVIL STRIFE LIKE IN IRAQ; IT IS NOT A DAILY GRIND OF TERRORIST VIOLENCE.

A LIBERAL RESPONDENT - A PROFESSOR NATURALLY- ADMITS TO THE OUR BEING BLESSED WITH MANY RIGHTS, BUT HE WARNS US TO "THINK CAREFULLY ABOUT OUR CHOICES FOR LEADERSHIP." (A DIG AGAINST PRESIDENT BUSH). ANOTHER LIBERAL MAN IS NOT PROUD OF OUR "POWERFUL MILITARY, RATHER HE TAKES PRIDE IN SEEING PEOPLE COME TOGETHER IN TIMES OF CRISIS. HE ALSO POINTS OUT THAT WHEN ABORTION IS WRONG "DON'T HAVE ONE" AND "TEACH YOUR CHILDREN ...THAT." HE THEN CONTRADICTS HIMSELF SAYING THAT NO "PERSON SHOULD EVER IMPOSE HIS VIEWS." A THIRD MAN, A PSYCHOLOGIST, IS ALSO NOT PROUD WHEN HE SEES "SMALL-MINDEDNESS, PREJUDICE, STINGINESS AND INCONSISTENCY TODAY. IN HIS YOUTH, DURING MID 20TH CENTURY, OUR NATION CARED, HE SAYS, WITH TRUE PRINCIPLES OF "MERCY, TOLERANCE AND SHARING." THIS LIBERAL TYPICALLY LOOKS BACKWARD UNABLE TO LIFT THE BLINDS AND FACE REALITY.

IN CONTRAST, THE CONSERVATIVE RESPONDERS WAVE THEIR PATRIOTIC COLORS. A WOMAN TELLS THAT HER SON, A YOUTH OF EIGHTEEN, TOLD A EUROPEAN WHO ASKED IF AN AMERICAN FLAG COULD BE BURNED IN PROTEST (YES THE SUPREME COURT JUST RULED), "YOU'LL HAVE TO BURN IT WITH ME WRAPPED IN IT." AN ELDERLY MAN BELIEVES THAT "AMERICA STILL MEANS THAT IT IS THE BEST THERE IS! NOW LET'S GO MAKE IT BETTER." HIS RESPONSE OBVIOUSLY REFLECTS HIS PRIDE. LASTLY, THE QUESTION WAS ASKED OF A SOLDIER WHO PRESENTLY SERVES TO PROTECT HIS COUNTRY'S AMERICAN WAY. HE SAID THAT "IT DEFIES ALL LOGIC" THAT OUR DIVERSE NATION HAS THRIVED. THE SECRET TO OUR SURVIVAL IS OUR SHARED IDEALS. THEY MUST BE PRESERVED.

A LIBERAL PROBABLY WOULD STAND AS A SPECTATOR AND ALLOW A REPORTER TO REPORT AND A PHOTOGRAPHER TO FILM A FLAG BURNING. A CONSERVATIVE WOULD RUN UP TO THE PROTESTOR WAGGING A FIST WITH WHICH TO REMEDY THE DISGRACE. BUT BOTH AMERICANS, EACH WITH OPPOSING POLITICAL PERSUASIONS, WOULD SIT SIDE BY SIDE WATCHING AN ORCHESTRATED FIREWORKS DISPLAY. THE AMERICAN WAY IS RESPECT FOR OUR DIFFERENCES.

OF COURSE, SUPERMAN, RETURNS IS ONLY A MOVIE AND THE PUBLIC PAYS FIRST AND FOREMOST TO BE ENTERTAINED. WITHOUT JUDGMENT OR CONSCIENCE, HOWEVER, THE AGENDA OF ANTI-AMERICANISM WINS. STUPIDITY WINS. I FACED MY ANGER YEARS AGO. THE MADNESS, I CONCLUDED, RESIDED IN LOUSY, UNREWARDING, IMMORAL AND AGENDA-DRIVEN FILMS WHICH WOULDN'T ADVANCE MY CAUSE FOR TRUTH, JUSTICE OR THE AMERICAN WAY. I DIDN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. I WALKED OUT OF THE MOVIES. AND THAT WAS OVER TWO SCORE YEARS AGO.

EQUATIONS

PROGRESSIVES(LIBERALS) INTERPRET THE CONSTITUTION BROADLY IN THE NAME OF FREEDOM, NARROWLY IN THE NAME OF SECURITY.
CONSERVATIVES PLACE CITIZENS' SAFETY AT HOME OVER THE FREEDOM OF OTHERS TO DO HARM. PROGRESSIVES WOULD ALLOW BLACK STUDENTS TO SIT ON DESKS DRESSED IN CASUAL CLOTHES AND/OR STROLL ABOUT THE CLASSROOM. CONSERVATIVES WOULD RESURRECT THE STRICT CODE OF NUNS(BLACK VEILED MONSTERS) WHO WOULD ENFORCE COURTESY BY THE DISCIPLINE OF SITTING STRAIGHT AND FACING FRONT IN THE DESK OR FACE HAVING "YOUR BLOCK KNOCKED OFF."

PROGRESSIVES MISINTERPRET OR IGNORE THE IMPACT OF TAX CUTS RATHER THAN FACE "INCONVENIENT TRUTHS." A MIDDLE CLASS TAX CREDIT, TUITION TAX CREDIT AND JOBS PLAN ALREADY ARE IN PLAY. INCREASING THE MIDDLE CLASS TAX CUT WOULD HURT THE MIDDLE CLASS RATHER THAN HELP THEM, BECAUSE THEY NOW ARE THE CHIEF BENEFICIARIES OF THE CAPITAL-GAINS TAX AND THE TAX STRUCTURE AS IT EXISTS. STUDENTS ALREADY HAVE ACCESS TO HIGHER EDUCATION. WHO NEEDS A JOB PLAN WHEN UNEMPLOYMENT IS AT AN ALL TIME LOW? CONSERVATIVES UNDERSTAND ECONOMICS WHEN IT APPLIES TO THE CAPITAL-GAINS TAX CUTS WHICH INCREASED REVENUES BY THE MILLIONS LAST YEAR (A BIG DETAIL THAT PROGRESSIVES IGNORE). ALSO, 80% OF THOSE TAXED FOR CAPITAL-GAINS EARN MORE THAN $100.000 A YEAR, BUT THE MONEY IS SPENT AS FAST AS IT COMES IN. LOWERING THE TAX FURTHER INCREASES FUTURE INCOME. TAX CUTS ON THE MIDDLE CLASS WOULD HAVE LITTLE AFFECT ON SOCIETY AS A WHOLE LITTLE. THE POOR DO NOT PAY TAXES. HIGHER TAXES PENALIZE THOSE WHO BOLSTER OUR ECONOMY AND KEEP IT AFLOAT.

PROGRESSIVES EMBRACE OUTRAGEOUS POSITIONS LIKE GLOBAL WARMING. THEY ARE UNWILLING TO SUSPEND THEIR BELIEF IN THE FACE OF EVIDENCE THAT DEBUNKS THEIR POSITION THAT THE ICE MELT ENDANGERS OUR PLANET AND 16.000 SPECIES LIVING ON IT. THEY ARE WILLING, HOWEVER, TO PAY $4,000 FOR A CLIMATE CHANGE IMPACT CRUISE. CONSERVATIVES PREFER TO OPEN A BOOK ON WORLD HISTORY TO LEARNS ABOUT THE FOIBLES OF MANKIND AND THE FICKLENESS OF NATURE.

I INGESTED MATHEMATICAL EQUATIONS IN HIGH SCHOOL AND HAVE FOUND NO USE FOR THEM SINCE...UNTIL NOW. A PROGRESSIVE (LIBERAL) EQUALS BACKWARD-LOOKING, INSOLENT, DEPRESSIVE AND INTOLERANCE OF ALL OPPOSING VIEWS. CONSERVATIVES LOOK FORWARD, PRACTICE CIVILITY, ARE OPTIMISTIC AND, HOPEFULLY, REMAIN STEADFAST IN CERTAIN MORAL VALUES.

PROGRESSIVES TALK ABOUT CONSERVATIVE = IRRESPONSIBLE. CONSERVATIVES KNOW PROGRESSIVE = DELUSIONAL.

SINFUL

IF LIFE IS ALL ABOUT CHOICES, DOES IT NOT INCLUDE THE EDITORS OF THE COLUMBUS CATHOLIC TIMES? MY ISSUE ON SATURDAY, JULY 1ST PICTURED WHAT MY MIND AUTOMATICALLY SCREAMED WAS A "SIN!" OF COURSE, HOW CAN A PERIODICAL SIN? THE CATHOLIC TIMES INFORMS A SELECT PUBLIC AND PREACHES THE CATHOLIC MESSAGE TO PURSUE SINLESSNESS. YOURS IS THE CHOICE OF WHAT IS FIT TO PRINT. YOU CHOSE A COLOR PHOTO OF DEMOCRATIC SEN. JOHN F. KERRY OF MASSACHUSETTS, (COMPLETELY IDENTIFIED ) RECEIVING COMMUNION FROM ARCHBISHOP PIETRO SAMBI, THE APOSTOLIC NUNCIO TO THE UNITED STATES. WHAT BETTER PUBLICITY STUNT COULD BE DREAMED OF FOR THE PRO-ABORTION, PRESIDENT- SLANDERING, FLIP-FLOPPER ON ISSUES AND VALUES, POLITICIAN? COMMUNION FROM A BIG-WIG IN THE PAPAL HIERARCHY NO LESS. AND YOU SANCTIONED IT. YOURS WAS A SHAMEFUL DECISION OR PERHAPS A TOUCH OF PANDERING? ANY OTHER PICTURE COULD HAVE REPRESENTED THE INSTALLATION OF ARCHBISHOP DONALD WUERL AT THE BASILICA OF THE NATIONAL SHRINE OF THE IMMACULATE CONCEPTION IN WASHINGTON. MENTION OF THIS IMPRESSIVE CHURCH SEGUES NICELY INTO MY OTHER OBSERVATION THAT MARY THE MOTHER OF GOD, GIVEN SENATOR KERRY'S STANCE ON THE SANCTITY OF LIFE OF A FETUS OR A SOLDIER, WOULD HAVE NOT SAID, "YES," TO MAGNIFY THE LORD. WHY DO I SUBSCRIBE TO YOUR LEFT-LEANING, LIBERAL PUBLICATION WHEN I CAN GET MY CONSERVATIVE AND MORAL FIX ELSEWHERE FROM A NON-CATHOLIC, SECTARIAN SOURCE SUCH AS A TALK SHOW HOST WHO IS APPROPRIATELY OUTRAGED BY THE DISHONEST AND IMMORAL ANTICS OF JOHN KERRY.