EQUATIONS

PROGRESSIVES(LIBERALS) INTERPRET THE CONSTITUTION BROADLY IN THE NAME OF FREEDOM, NARROWLY IN THE NAME OF SECURITY.
CONSERVATIVES PLACE CITIZENS' SAFETY AT HOME OVER THE FREEDOM OF OTHERS TO DO HARM. PROGRESSIVES WOULD ALLOW BLACK STUDENTS TO SIT ON DESKS DRESSED IN CASUAL CLOTHES AND/OR STROLL ABOUT THE CLASSROOM. CONSERVATIVES WOULD RESURRECT THE STRICT CODE OF NUNS(BLACK VEILED MONSTERS) WHO WOULD ENFORCE COURTESY BY THE DISCIPLINE OF SITTING STRAIGHT AND FACING FRONT IN THE DESK OR FACE HAVING "YOUR BLOCK KNOCKED OFF."

PROGRESSIVES MISINTERPRET OR IGNORE THE IMPACT OF TAX CUTS RATHER THAN FACE "INCONVENIENT TRUTHS." A MIDDLE CLASS TAX CREDIT, TUITION TAX CREDIT AND JOBS PLAN ALREADY ARE IN PLAY. INCREASING THE MIDDLE CLASS TAX CUT WOULD HURT THE MIDDLE CLASS RATHER THAN HELP THEM, BECAUSE THEY NOW ARE THE CHIEF BENEFICIARIES OF THE CAPITAL-GAINS TAX AND THE TAX STRUCTURE AS IT EXISTS. STUDENTS ALREADY HAVE ACCESS TO HIGHER EDUCATION. WHO NEEDS A JOB PLAN WHEN UNEMPLOYMENT IS AT AN ALL TIME LOW? CONSERVATIVES UNDERSTAND ECONOMICS WHEN IT APPLIES TO THE CAPITAL-GAINS TAX CUTS WHICH INCREASED REVENUES BY THE MILLIONS LAST YEAR (A BIG DETAIL THAT PROGRESSIVES IGNORE). ALSO, 80% OF THOSE TAXED FOR CAPITAL-GAINS EARN MORE THAN $100.000 A YEAR, BUT THE MONEY IS SPENT AS FAST AS IT COMES IN. LOWERING THE TAX FURTHER INCREASES FUTURE INCOME. TAX CUTS ON THE MIDDLE CLASS WOULD HAVE LITTLE AFFECT ON SOCIETY AS A WHOLE LITTLE. THE POOR DO NOT PAY TAXES. HIGHER TAXES PENALIZE THOSE WHO BOLSTER OUR ECONOMY AND KEEP IT AFLOAT.

PROGRESSIVES EMBRACE OUTRAGEOUS POSITIONS LIKE GLOBAL WARMING. THEY ARE UNWILLING TO SUSPEND THEIR BELIEF IN THE FACE OF EVIDENCE THAT DEBUNKS THEIR POSITION THAT THE ICE MELT ENDANGERS OUR PLANET AND 16.000 SPECIES LIVING ON IT. THEY ARE WILLING, HOWEVER, TO PAY $4,000 FOR A CLIMATE CHANGE IMPACT CRUISE. CONSERVATIVES PREFER TO OPEN A BOOK ON WORLD HISTORY TO LEARNS ABOUT THE FOIBLES OF MANKIND AND THE FICKLENESS OF NATURE.

I INGESTED MATHEMATICAL EQUATIONS IN HIGH SCHOOL AND HAVE FOUND NO USE FOR THEM SINCE...UNTIL NOW. A PROGRESSIVE (LIBERAL) EQUALS BACKWARD-LOOKING, INSOLENT, DEPRESSIVE AND INTOLERANCE OF ALL OPPOSING VIEWS. CONSERVATIVES LOOK FORWARD, PRACTICE CIVILITY, ARE OPTIMISTIC AND, HOPEFULLY, REMAIN STEADFAST IN CERTAIN MORAL VALUES.

PROGRESSIVES TALK ABOUT CONSERVATIVE = IRRESPONSIBLE. CONSERVATIVES KNOW PROGRESSIVE = DELUSIONAL.