HOW TO CLEAN A PAN

TO BORROW A FEW ALLITERATIVE WORDS FROM A WRITER, JOHN MCDONOUGH, I CAN STATE THAT I HAVE NEVER WALKED IN THE "FOG OF FAD AND FASHION." I'VE PREFERRED TO MARCH FEEBLY TO A "DIFFERENT DISTANT DRUMMER," TO USE ANOTHER WRITER'S WORDS, HENRY DAVID THOREAU'S. WHEN THE NEED ( UNCONVENTIONAL IF YOU ASK) FOR A LARGE, FLAT-BOTTOMED PAN AROSE AND I RECEIVED ONE GRATIS, THE TASK OF CLEAN-UP FOLLOWED.

TO CLEAN A LARGE (ABOUT THE SIZE OF A BUFFET SERVING TRAY), RECTANGULAR, LIME AND RUST-ENCRUSTED METAL PAN, IT TAKES 4 STEPS.

1. POUR A 24 OZ. CONTAINER OF LIME-AWAY INTO IT AND WAIT. STIR LIQUID AROUND PAN OCCASIONALLY WITH TOILET BRUSH. WAIT AN ENTIRE DAY. AND OVERNIGHT.

2. RINSE PAN (ANYWHERE SAFE OUTDOORS). SCRAPE ENCRUSTED GUNK WITH HEAVY SCRAPING TOOL. I CHOSE A BEEHIVE TOOL. SCRAPE SOME MORE. AND MORE. THEN SPRAY PAN WITH OVEN CLEANER AND PUT OUT INTO THE SUN TO BAKE. WAIT 2 HRS.

3. RINSE PAN (THIS TIME IN TUB). SCRAPE. SCRAPE SOME MORE. POUR BLEACH INTO BOTTOM OF PAN TO THE DEPTH OF ABOUT AN INCH INCLUDING A LITTLE WATER. WAIT. 2 HRS.

4. RINSE PAN IN TUB. SCRAPE WITH A 50 CENT WIRE DISH PAN SCRAPER ALTERNATING WITH THE STURDY METAL SCRAPER. SCRAPE. SCRAPE. THINGS ARE LOOKING PRETTY GOOD BY NOW.

THE FINAL RINSE WITH SOAP AND WATER REVEALS THE SHINY PIECE DE RESISTANCE. P.S. A SINGLE-EDGED RAZOR BLADE WOULD HAVE BEEN HELPFUL TOO BUT I BROKE MY SOLE ONE INTO PIECES WITH THE FIRST SCRAPE.