Incredulous

I can't believe I find my life (feel) my life is so incredibly useless, empty, meaningless. Heaven sent mate, cat, friend, fish and family but why does each day drag by marked by, hours awaiting a night's sleep at midnight? Husband can 't sleep. He apparently has no thrills, expectations or anticipations. Me? Thinking only draws me back to years and times of terrible regretful actions. Weeping at a bad or sad thought. How to pass through so many hours?