A CHAIR SPEAKS

I AM A SENIOR ADIRONCACK CHAIR, FINISHED WITH BROWN PAINT AND GLOSSED WITH OLD ENGLISH, BUT I KNOW WHEREOF I SPEAK. I BOAST A 20 YEAR LIFELINE SINCE MY INCEPTION IN A 4-H PROJECT. WITH AGE, HOWEVER, AND FROM MY PRESENT POSITION, I CAN NOW SPEAK MY MIND ON A FEW THINGS. ONE IS SECURITY. I'VE BEEN SITUATED ON THE SAME SPOT ON A RUG FOR OVER 5 YEARS, ALTHOUGH THE TERRAIN UNDER ME HAS CHANGED TWICE. ANOTHER IS VARIETY BECAUSE I HAVE OBSERVED FROM MY VANTAGE BEHIND GLASS, THE RECURRING SEASONS, SEASONAL BREEZES AND GUSTS OF WESTERLY WINDS. THOUGH SEDENTERY, I AM STILL PHYSICALLY FIT, WITHSTANDING FURRY FELINES ATTACKING EACH OTHER FROM BENEATH ME AND UPON MY ARMRESTS. I HAVE NEVER BEEN UPSET BY THEIR RAUCOUS ANTICS. NOR HAVE I MOVED INSPITE OF SUDDEN, LOUD BARKING FROM A DOG SPYING A SQUIRREL. I KNOW ABOUT FINE FOOD, TOO, HAVING SAT IDLY BY WHEN HOME-MADE MEALS ARE SERVED BEHIND MY BACK AT A BECKONING CANDLE-LIT TABLE. IN THE MORNINGS, MY SLATS ARE SUBECTED TO 1970'S CULT MUSIC THAT PRECEDES THE MORNING NEWS. UNFORTUNATELY, I HAVE NEVER HEARD A POSITIVE, POLITICAL OR ECONOMICAL COMMENT FROM FOX NEWS, THOUGH THEY CLAIM THEY ARE 'FAIR AND BALANCED.' I AM OCCUPIED FOR MANY HOURS ON DAILY BASIS, PROXIMATE TO THE LIGHT OF THE OUTDOOR WORLD ON A TINY PORCH WHICH REPRESENTS A POST-MODERN CATHEDRAL TO MY SOLE OCCUPANT. WHY? I AM A REVEREND DOMAIN FOR READING. MY OWNER'S REPEATED ACTIONS SPEAK AS LOUDLY AS THE MILLIONS OF WORDS SHE HAS READ. HER SEDAN TO KNOWLEDGE AND ADVENTURE , ME, HAS FACILITATED HER WORLDLY TRAVELS, BROAD IN TIME AND SPACE. I THINK SHE LOVES ME NOT ONLY FOR THE LIMITING BUT COMFORTABLE DIMENSIONS OF MY SEAT, BUT ALSO FOR THE UNLIMITED POSSIBILITIES OF INTELLECTUAL ENHANCEMENT THAT I PROVIDE.