AMERICAN DISASTER

ECONOMIC FREEDOM AND RULE OF LAW WOULD FIX THE UTTER DISASTER WE CALL AFRICA. WILL IT HAPPEN ANY TIME SOON? NO. NEITHER WILL AN AMERICAN CALAMITY, PUBLIC EDUCATION, BE REMEDIED QUICKLY.

MORNINGS DO NOT BECOME ME, ESPECIALLY WHEN THE FIRST ASSAULT UPON MY WAKEFULNESS, ONE I WISHED I WERE SPARED, IS AN UPDATED REPORT THAT 4 OUT OF 5 AMERICAN PUBLIC SCHOOLS OFFER A BREAKFAST PROGRAM. THE ENROLLMENT IS 5% HIGHER THAN IN 1995. THIS NUMBER I WAS TOLD APPARENTLY STILL SERVES ONLY 1/2 OF THOSE CHILDREN WHO ARE NEEDY. REALLY? TWO TRAGEDIES EXIST SIMULTANEOUSLY HERE: FOOD HANDOUTS AT TAXPAYERS' EXPENSES AND ABDICATION OF PARENTING.

SUBSEQUENT TO THIS NEWS, I PUNISHED MYSELF WITH WORDS FROM A PUBLIC SCHOOL EDUCATOR., THIS TIME A SUPERINTENDANT OF A SYSTEM. HIS DISCUSSION OF BEHAVORIAL PROBLEMS WAS MUDDIED WITH POLITICALLY CORRECT JARGON. STUDENTS WHO PERFORMED - I QUOTE - "BAD" OR "WRONG" SUCH AS USING 4-LETTER WORDS TO TEACHERS, NEEDED TO MEET TWO CRITERIA BEFORE A SUSPENSION. FIRST WAS - I QUOTE - "MANIFESTATION DETERMINATION;" SECOND WAS - I QUOTE - THE "FUNCTIONAL BEHAVIOR ELEMENT." THE STUDENT WITH A - AGAIN I QUOTE - "DISABILITY" COULD FACE A 10 TO 45 DAY SUSPENSION DURING WHICH HE OR SHE, HOWEVER, MIGHT BE AFFORDED - I MUST QUOTE AGAIN - "ALTERNATIVE SCHOOLING".

I WAS , BY NOW, STIFLING A DOSE OF HEALTHY, EARLY MORNING LAUGHTER, AND WAS NOT SURPRISED BY THIS MAN'S SERIOUS TALK OF - AGAIN I QUOTE - "CULTURAL CLIMATE STANDARDS PACKAGING" AND "PACING CHARTS" IN SCHOOLS. THE UPCOMING AWARDS CEREMONY HE MENTIONED, THAT WOULD BE CONDUCTED FOR 3RD GRADERS WHO EXCELLED ON MANDATORY TESTS, FIT IN APPROPRIATELY WITH HIS OTHER NONSENSICAL EXERCISES IN SELF ESTEEM.

DO I REALLY THINK THAT ANY PUBLIC EDUCATION FACILITY IS WORKING AT - AGAIN I QUOTE HIM - "FULL THROTTLE" ANY PLACE DURING AN ACADEMIC YEAR, OTHER THAN IN A SPORTS ARENA? CURRICULA HARDLY PROGRESSES OVER CONSECUTIVE WEEKS DUE TO TEACHER CONFERENCES, SPECIAL FUNERALS, SNOW DAYS CALLED ON ACCOUNT OF WIMPINESS AND THREATS OF LITIGATION AND EXTENDED VACATIONS SUCH AS THE 14 OFF DAYS FOR CHRISTMAS.

MY DISTINGUISHED EDUCATOR CAPPED HIS INTERVIEW WITH A LAMENTATION THAT HIS JOB IS NOT - I QUOTE - A "CUSHY ONE LIKE OBADIAH." OR DID HE SAY HE WAS LIKE THE SERVANT OF GOD FROM THE OLD TESTAMENT? WHO CARES?

MY HUSBAND LIKES TO OPINE THAT ELVIS SIGNALED THE DEATH OF TALENT IN SINGING. I MIGHT QUIBBLE WITH HIM A BIT SINCE I LIKED THE PELVIS' TUNE, "I WANT YOU, I NEED YOU, I LOVE YOU, " BUT WHAT I DON'T DISPUTE IS THE DEATH OF LEARNING WHICH, APPARENTLY, NO PUBLIC SCHOOL WANTS, NEEDS OR LOVES ANYMORE.