A NEW DAY

DECEMBER 15, 2005 - A DAY THAT WILL BE FAMOUS (I HOPE) IN THE ANNALS OF DEMOCRACY. CONGRATULATIONS IRAQ ON A YOUR NEW DAWN OF FREEDOM. BUT AT THE DAWN OF MY NEW DAY, IT'S TIME FOR A REALITY CHECK AT HOME. MY MORNING POLICY IS 'DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL,' BECAUSE WAKEFULNESS IS A LONG TIME COMING. I SERIOUSLY QUESTION THE HUMANITY OF THOSE TYPE 'A' PERSONALITIES (FOR AGONIZING) WHO ARISE , PERKY, TO RUN OR EXERCISE, SHOWER AND EAGERLY ANTICIPATE WORK. MY DRESSING IS AUTOMATIC. CHORES BLUR. THE PET TRIO AND OUTDOOR BIRDS ARE FED. COFFEE PERKED. CEREAL SERVED. PEACE AT THE TABLE IS NEVER GUARANTEED. THE CHINKS OF SPOONS AGAINST CEREAL BOWLS ARE CALLS TO ARMS FOR MY THREE WANNABE BLIMPS. THREE ATTUNED MUZZLES, SIX SUPER-SENSITIVE EARS AND AN EQUAL NUMBER OF EYES ARE FOCUSED ON ME AT ALL TIMES. EVEN AFTER CHOW HAS BEEN DISTRIBUTED, SECOND TREAT IS ANTICIPATED BY MY DOG AND 2 CATS. ALL THREE PROFESS TO BE OMNIVORES - WHAT I EAT, THEY WILL EAT. I MUST TIP CEREAL AND MILK INTO THE DOG'S MOUTH FROM A SPOON AND LEAVE CEREAL AND MILK IN MY BOWL FOR CLEANUP BY THE CATS. HEAVEN HELP ME IF I SERVE AN OCCASIONAL BACON OR SAUSAGE, BECAUSE FOR MEAT THE JUNGLE MEMORIES BURST FORTH IN MY KITTIES WHO LEAP UPON MY TABLE TO SEIZE A BOON. BEGGING AT MEALTIMES IS AS ROUTINE AS THE CHASE OF ONE FELINE BY ANOTHER. MORNING SOUND EFFECTS EMANATE FROM THE RADIO AS WELL AS THE BOUNDINGS OF MY TWO CATTY QUADRUPEDS. IF MY DOG HEARS A CAR MOTOR OR GARAGE DOOR OPEN ACROSS THE ROAD OR OBSERVES HUMAN ACTIVITY THERE, SHE BARKS AND WHINES TO BE LET OUTDOORS TO RUN ACROSS THE TURF AND SOLICIT AN UNEARNED MILKBONE. TODAY'S BREAKFAST IS MARRED BY MY ACCIDENTALLY SPILLING MY CUP OF COFFEE. ONCE THE SPLATTERED DRINK DRIES OUT ON MY NEWSPAPER DRAPED OVER THE RADIATORS, I'LL PLUNK MYSELF INTO MY FAVORITE CHAIR AND LATER, RATHER THAN SOONER. BEGIN A NEW - AND NORMAL - DAY.