GLENN BECK

WHEN HE IS 40 SOMETHING, MOTOR-MOUTHED AND A TALK SHOW HOST, IT IS NO SURPRISE THAT MISTAKES ARE MADE. MY MAN - WHO PROFILES MORE LIKE A WOMAN - PROVED HIMSELF HUMORLESS BY MISTAKING AN IRONIC, OVER-THE-TOP SATIRICAL ESSAY BY SARAH VOWEL AS A SERIOUS INDICTMENT OF THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION. MY MAN - WHO PROFILES MORE LIKE A YUPPIE THAN A SELF-DESCRIBED REAL AMERICAN - RECENTLY OPINED THAT "NO ONE GOES TO LIBRARIES BUT HIPPIES TOO CHEAP TO PAY FOR A BOOK."

THIS CHARACTERIZATION OF ME WAS NOT INNOCENTLY ENGENDERED TO PROVOKE HUMOR. AS I STATED ABOVE, MY MAN CAN'T TAKE A JOKE. THIS STATEMENT REVEALED AN INNER PSYCHE THAT PROFILES PEOPLE FROM AN ELITIST'S WORLD VIEW. GEORGE LAKOFF, A LINGUIST ASSISTING THE DEMOCRATS IN THEIR CAMPAIGN STRATEGY IN 2004 TOTALLY BELIEVES IN "FRAMING" ALL DISCUSSIONS TO ACHIEVE GOALS. LET ME FRAME FOR MY CELEBRITY HOST, THE CLIENTELE AT MY LOCAL LIBRARY. WE PATRONS ARE READERS AND CONSERVATIVE BOOKWORMS. HIPPIES ARE NOWHERE IN VIEW BECAUSE THEY HAVE YEARS AGO TRANSFORMED THEMSELVES INTO THE YUPPIES AND LIBERALS OF TODAY. WE PATRONS ARE CONSUMERS WITH COMMON SENSE ENOUGH TO VALUE SAVING MONEY. BOOK BUYERS ARE NOWHERE IN VIEW BECAUSE THEY SHOP AT RETAIL, COMMERCIAL STORES WHERE EVEN THE LATTE ISN'T FREE.

GIVE US A DAGUERROTYPE THAT DOES NOT TYPECAST US, MR. BECK.