THE BIG EASY

ONE COULD EXPERIENCE A VICARIOUS HANGOVER READING STEVE GARBARINO'S ESSAY ON THE NEW ORLEANS CONFEDERACY, THURS. FEB. 23, 2006. NOT ONLY WAS HIS EXPOSE A BLOT UPON THE SOUTHERN CAUSE, BUT IT ALSO WAS A BLOT UPON REPORTERS, TYPIFIED BY HIMSELF, DRUNK IN THE 'IN' BARS. WHEN MR. GARBARINO WAS IN NEW ORLEANS AFTER KATRINA, I INTERPRETED HIS COMMA-RIDDEN SENTENCE TO MEAN THAT HE WAS SODDEN AND REPORTING AFTER HELPING WITH RELIEF EFFORTS, "UP TO (HIS) KNEES IN SANDBAGS AND HUMAN DEBRIS." I AM NO PRUDE, BUT MUCK IS WHERE HE PLACED ME WITH HIS SPREAD ABOUT DEPRAVITY AND GREAT WRITING AT THE INSPIRATION OF DIONYSIUS. I WAS "ENRAGED BEYOND ALL MEASURE," AS DR. LAURA WOULD SAY ABOUT UNWED MOTHERHOOD, THAT WHAT THE WSJ SAW FIT TO PRINT WAS SO UNFITTING FOR A DECENT, INTELLECTUAL READERSHIP. MY JOURNAL SUBSCRIPTION BASICALLY FACILITATES MY HUSBAND'S INTEREST IN FINANCIAL NEWS THOUGH I APPRECIATE CUTTING-EDGE REPORTING AND COVERAGE OF MEDIA TRENDS. BUT WHO NEEDS A PAEAN TO A BACCHANALIA, THE MOT JUSTE FOR DRINKING, FORNICATING, CREATIVE WRITING AND USELESS LIVING DEPICTED OVER THE DECADES IN NEW ORLEANS? WHO, OTHER THAN PARTYGOERS, NEEDS THE ORGIASTIC SPACE IN AMERICA FOR NON-PRODUCERS CALLED NEW ORLEANS ANYWAY? I SHOULD HAVE EXPECTED NO LESS IN AN ARTICLE FROM A JOURNALIST AT 'VANITY FAIR,' A MAGAZINE ON WHOSE COVER JOHN FORD, THE CLOTHING DESIGNER, POSES WITH TWO NUDE MOVIE STARS IN AN OPAQUE PANDERING TO PURIENT, PUBLIC INTEREST. WOW, WHAT A LUCRATIVE RUN THAT ISSUE SHOULD HAVE! CHRISTOPHER HITCHENS LIKES TO REMIND US THAT FREE SPEECH IS GUARANTEED. BOOZE TOO. BUT AS WITNESS TO ANOTHER TRUTH, I SAY A NEWSPAPER IS FREE TO REJECT AN OBJECTIONABLE ESSAY.