DESIGNER DOGS

ON THE EVE OF CHRIST'S BIRTH, A SEGMENT OF OUR SOCIETY IS 'PLAYING AT GOD.' SCIENTISTS INVOLVED IN CLONING - THOUGH SOME HAVE BEEN RECENTLY DEBUNKED - FIND ARTIFICIAL CREATION IRRESISTIBLE. SIMILAR TO THEM ARE BREEDERS WHO FIND ANIMAL MISCEGENATION EQUALLY ADDICTIVE. THEY ARE CREATORS OF HYBRID, 'DESIGNER' DOGS. WE HAVE TRADITIONALLY CALLED SUCH NATURAL, CANINE LITTERS MIXED BREEDS, MUTTS, HYBRIDS OR ACCIDENTS. BUT NOWADAYS BIG BUCKS CAN BE GENERATED (PUN INTENDED) FOR THESE QUIRKS. "DESIGNER" BREEDS ARE POPPING OUT AND ABOUT WITH UNPRONOUNCIBLE NAMES SUCH AS LABRADOODLE, CHUG, CHIWEENIE, MORKIE, PUGGLE AND CHINESE CRESTEE. THEY HAVE 'STATUS' POSITIONS. WILL THESE ANOMALIES OF BIOLOGY ACTUALLY SURVIVE? A MIX OF TWO GENETIC TRADITIONS, WITH ENOUGH TINKERING OVER SUBSEQUENT GENERATIONS, WILL CREATE A 'NEW' HYBRID WHICH CAN BREED TRUE.

TODAY, CELEBRITIES WHO SPORT THESE ODDITIES FUEL THE FIRES OF EXCLUSIVITY AND PREMIUM PRICES. EGOISM AND POWER FAN THE FLAMES TOO. THE 13TH CENTURY PHILOSOPHER ALBERTUS MAGNUS PRESAGED THE "JUST PRICE" PHENOMENON WHEN HE SAID THAT THE WORTH OF GOODS IS "ACCORDING TO THE ESTIMATION OF THE MARKET AT THE TIME OF SALE." RIGHT NOW THE FREE MARKET REIGNS. HOW MANY PURCHASERS OF THESE 'HIP' HYBRIDS WILL SUFFER "BUYER'S REMORSE? WILL THE BIZARRE APPEARANCES OF THESE NEW CREATIONS CONTINUE TO 'TURN ON' PEOPLE OR WILL THEY EVENTUALLY 'TURN OFF' PROSPECTIVE OWNERS. I KNOW A LITTLE ABOUT THE SUBJECT BECAUSE THE IRRESTIBLE OVERWHELMED ME TOO. I BRED PUPPIES, YES HYBRIDS, IN YEARS PAST. SOME CUSTOMERS PAID FOR CUTE, LITTLE AND APPEALING PETS, BUT OTHERS WOULD NOT. PERHAPS I DIDN'T 'MARKET' THEM CORRECTLY BECAUSE HUGE PROFITS FROM MY EXPERIMENTATIONS DID NOT MATERIALIZE.

IN THE FINAL ANALYSIS, AT LEAST SOME PEOPLE WILL HAVE A FIDOS TO LICK THE EGG OFF THEIR FACES WHEN THEY REALIZE THEY HAVE A $1000 POOCHES.