UNCOMMON CENTS 79

I PROMISED MYSELF I WOULD NOT GET MY 'DANDER UP' AGAIN ABOUT THE STATE OF AMERICAN EDUCATION, BUT I "HAFT TO ADD," MY COMMENTS TO THE PROFILE OF A LOCAL GRAMMAR SCHOOL BECAUSE IT IS CATHOLIC SCHOOLS WEEK. AN ADULT REPRESENTATIVE OF THE ONLY LOCAL CATHOLIC GRAMMAR SCHOOL SAID THAT "WE MIGHT BE HAFTING TO ADD" FACULTY. A COUPLE OF STUDENT REPRESENTATIVES WAXED POETIC - IN THEIR TYPICAL GRAMMAR SCHOOL VOCABULARIES - ABOUT HOW THEY LIKED THEIR SCHOOL BECAUSE OF 'SPORTS', 'SOCIAL STUDIES' AND 'NICE' TEACHERS. BECAUSE THEY WERE MADE TO 'FIT IN' AND IT'S 'FUN.' HOW FAR FROM THEIR MISSION, HAVE SCHOOLS STRAYED!

THE ENTIRE EXPERIENCE FOR WHICH A CATHOLIC PAID TUITION OF $2200 A YEAR AND A NON-CATHOLIC, $4200, APPARENTLY PROVIDED NO ADVANTAGE OVER A PUBLIC SCHOOL IN ITS CATHOLICITY OR ITS EDUCATIONAL CURRICULUM. WHAT WASTED OPPORTUNITY AND EVANGELISM. PARENTS OF THESE STUDENTS PAY A PREMIUM FOR THEIR CHILD'S EXPERIENCES BUT DON'T EVEN GET A SPECIAL PRODUCT IN RETURN. MY DANDER STOOD ERECT, SALUTING. FURTHERMORE, IN PASSING, IT WAS NOTED THAT A MAN, THE LOCAL MAYOR, FOR WHOM I HAVE DEVELOPED A DECIDED DISRESPECT, WAS A PRODUCT OF THIS INSTITUTION. THIS MAN'S PUBLIC POLICIES AND LEFT-LEANING LIBERAL BELIEFS CONSISTENTLY RUN COUNTER TO CORE CATHOLIC PRINCIPLES BY THEIR MISREPRESENTATIONS OF ECONOMICS AND MORAL IMPERATIVES IN AMERICA AND, SPECIFICALLY, IN HIS CITY AND COMMUNITY.

AN INSIGNIFICANT NUMBER OF PRE K 4 YR OLDS. KINDERGARTEN AND GRAMMAR SCHOOL CHILDREN ARE INVOLVED HERE - UNDER A THOUSAND. BUT IN THE PATOIS OF THE EDUCATOR QUESTIONED, I 'HAFT' TO ADD MY TWO CENTS. I HEARD NO WORD 'CATHOLIC' OR NO WORD 'SCHOOLING' IN THE ALLOTTED HALF HOUR INTERVIEW. NO MENTION OF ACADEMIC EXCELLENCE OR RELIGIOUS ORIENTATION. TALK ABOUT A NEED TO REVERT TO THE "GOOD OLE' DAYS." BRING BACK THE BACK-SLAPPING NUNS. THEIR BACK-HANDED APPROACH TO LEARNING TAUGHT US MORE THAN TODAY'S POLITICALLY CORRECT, POLITE KISSES TO SELF-ESTEEM. ASK A DEVOUT MUSLIM IF HIS SCHOOL REFLECTS ISLAM'S RELIGIOUS AND EDUCATIONAL BELIEFS. THE ANSWER: "YES, PRAISE ALLAH." ASK A CATHOLIC IF HIS OR HER SCHOOL REFLECTS A CHURCH'S TRADITIONAL EMPHASIS ON A SERIOUS DEDICATION TO RELIGIOUS TRAINING AND RIGOROUS ACADEMIC ENQUIRY. THE ANSWER: "SPORTS IS FUN; THE TEACHERS IS NICE."

HINT: IT TAKES A DRINK OF SHERRY TO RELAX MY DANDER THAT'S UP.