UNCOMMON CENTS 76

IT WAS A WISE, OLD, SHAKESPEAREAN FOOL, POLONIUS, WHO SAID "NEITHER A BORROWER OR A LENDER BE." VICTOR HUGO SAID A CREDITOR "OWNS YOUR DIGNITY." BEN FRANKLIN SAID A "BORROWER GOES A SORROWING." "BORROWERS ARE NEARLY ALWAYS ILL-SPENDERS," SAID JOHN RUSKIN. YET AS HISTORY HAS HAD IT, SINCE THE ADVENT OF CREDIT, POLONIUS AND OTHER DR. PHIL'S HAS BEEN PROVEN DEAD WRONG. A LOCAL CAR DEALER ADVERTISES THAT "HIS LENDERS HAVE 2 MILLION DOLLARS TO LEND, SO GET DOWN HERE." SINCE THE 16TH CENTURY, A SPRING OF CREDIT HAS BUBBLED UP AND HAS NEVER CEASED TO FLOW. I LIKE MONEY TOO, BUT ADDICTION TO SPENDING IT IS STRONG LIKE THE COMPULSIVE DRAW OF NICOTINE. MONEY SQUANDERED OR WASTED ON CIGARETTES IS COMMON; ATTEMPTS TO QUIT RESULT IN RELAPSES.

IN SPITE OF THE POLITICAL INCORRECTNESS OF BOTH CIGARETTE ADDICTION AND THE ACCUMULATION OF WEALTH, EACH AMERICAN SHOULD CHOOSE SOME MANNER OF MAKING MONEY TO PREPARE FOR RETIREMENT. WHAT ABOUT INVESTING IN SOCIALLY RESPONSIBLE COMPANIES, SO-CALLED 'GOOD' COMPANIES THAT SHUN SIN PRODUCTS LIKE TOBACCO, FOSTER CHARITABLE GIVING, SEEK ENVIRONMENTAL RESPONSIBILITY AND SUPPORT CORPORATE OVERSIGHT? DO THEY, WILL THEY, WORK FOR YOUR BEST INTEREST? NOT NECESSARILY. EVIDENCE SPEAKS TO THE CONTRARY. THEIR TRACK RECORDS HAVE NOT PROFITED THEIR STOCKHOLDERS.

SO ON TO BIG TOBACCO. ALTRIA'S (FORMERLY PHILLIP MORRIS) VALUE HAS RISEN 450%SINCE 2000. WHAT QUESTION SHOULD YOU BE ASKING YOURSELF AND WHAT CHOICE LOOMS FOR YOU IF YOU NEED TO INVEST FOR YOUR RETIREMENT? DO YOU MAKE MONEY ON LEGAL SIN STOCKS AND, IF YOU SO CHOOSE, FUND YOUR 'CAUSES' WITH SOME OF YOUR EARNINGS? OR DO YOU LOSE MONEY FOR THE SAKE OF A GUILTY CONSCIENCE OVER FOR EXAMPLE, CIGARETTE ADDICTION, POSSIBLE ENVIRONMENTAL POLLUTION OR RESTRICTIONS ON EMPLOYEE BENEFITS? MONEY, PER SE, IS AN AMORAL COMMODITY. PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY, ON THE OTHER HAND, IS A MORAL GOOD. PASS ON FINANCING THAT NEW CAR AND INVEST TO BENEFIT YOUR FUTURE.

HINT: NEITHER A BORROWER NOR A LENDER BE. PAY YOURSELF FIRST OUT OF YOUR PAYCHECK, PAY CASH , PAY OFF A CREDIT CARD EACH MONTH OR DON'T ACQUIRE ONE. AVOID DEBT EXCEPT FOR THE SAKE OF A HOME.