On the edge

I am on the edge of some form of madness from grief. Don't know how to carry on so perhaps a confession for help will help?  Is there hope of relieving this guilt and sadness?  Betrayed by my cat of 8 years when a kitten is introduced but he betrayed by me after birthing and raising him alone and special in a safe, loving and indoor home. My 4th day in with 4 handkerchiefs drenched with tears, I can't even say please to anyone, someone to make me feel better. One possibility was my son taking the cat.