Unbelievable

Sunken into sobbing another day, I came to realize that - unbelievable as it is for me a sinner and loser - I was chosen to be the special one visited by my angel Stormy.  Negativity and zero self esteem encased in guilt account for virtually all the choices of my past life. Nevertheless, was struck by a bolt  of  enlightenment that I must be special to God for Him to have chosen me to find Stormy, save him, raise him to adolescence and see him in his perfection of  being as domestic cat.  How wonderful! Could I now feel good about something? No, I miss  him terribly. Everything daily sight reminds me of  white joy. His  endless playing, purring, delight in life. Learning each rule as introduced and enjoying each new act of life - to eat, to nap, to purr, to use the litterbox, to meow to climb stairs, to jump, to find a kitty cave or a husband's face to sleep. To madden to catnip. And the growth of a beautiful personality and body accompanied his endless new adventures (actions) as days went by.  The early bout with violent illness scared me thinking that it might be something lethal and would he would  die. But NO, he bounced back in days. I must see and feel that I have had a rare, miraculous privilege unforgettable and transforming. I must go on...See some light...