MY RED CAT IN HEAVEN

I WAS LOVED BY A CAT, PHOENIX, WITH NINE LIVES. I BELIEVE NOW THAT HE REPEATEDLY RESURRECTED HIMSELF NOT JUST OUT OF A COMPELLING, FELINE INSTINCT TO SURVIVE, BUT OUT OF DEVOTION TO ME. I REACHED THIS CONCLUSION IN HINDSIGHT. LIVE, I MALIGNED HIM, CURSED HIM, SOMETIMES HIT HIM, ABUSED HIM WITH THE EPITHET, “CAT FROM HELL.” DEAD, HE RESTS IN A HILLTOP GRAVE MARKED WITH A RED CHEETOS BAG CLIP. CHEETOS WERE HIS LATE NIGHT, FAVORITE TREAT. WHEN THE SCRABBLE TILES FELL FROM THE BOARD INTO THEIR BAG, PHOENIX CAME TO ATTENTION, AWAITING HIS SNACK.

I OBSERVED THE LIFE OF PHOENIX AS ONE MANDATE TO KILL - KILL BIRDS, ELIMINATE OTHER FELINES, OCCASIONALLY PUT A DOG IN ITS PLACE, DETER ANY INTRUDERS. MY PALADIN USUALLY BROKE OFF A NOISY ENGAGEMENT WITHOUT VISIBLE WOUNDS. INSTINCT YES, BUT ALSO, I BELIEVE, HIS MISSION WAS TO PROTECT ME.

PHOENIX REPEATEDLY AROSE FROM THE ASHES OF APPARENT DEFEAT. FIRST A CHILD ACCIDENTALLY STRANGLED HIS RED, FLUFFY KITTEN THAT THEN MIRACULOUSLY CLUNG TO LIFE. AFTER THIS INCIDENT, PHOENIX ENTERED MY HOME, MAY 1995, WITH HIS APPROPRIATE NAME. I WAS CONVINCED OVER THE YEARS THAT HE DESCENDED INTO HELL WHEN HIS BREATHING STOPPED AND HE RETURNED TO EARTH AS THE RED DEVIL.

THOUGH NEUTERED AS AN ADULT, PHOENIX NEVER LOST HIS AGGRESSIVE INSTINCT. IN 1996, I RESCUED BLIZZARD, A WILD, STARVING CAT DURING A WINTER STORM. THEREAFTER HE ENDURED UNPREDICTABLE PERSECUTION. IN 1997, ITCHES WAS ADOPTED BUT THE GREY BABY DIDN’T WORK OUT SO HE ONLY BRIEFLY ENCOUNTERED THE WRATH OF PHOENIX. IN AUGUST, 1999, AN ADULT DOG, SAVANNAH, INTENDED TO REPLACE MY BELOVED OLD DOG (WHO WOULD ACTUALLY DIE THE FOLLOWING YEAR.) PLAYED DEFENSE TO THE OFFENSES OF PHOENIX. JOY, A FOUNDLING KITTEN, WAS ADDED TO MY FOLD IN 2004; HE ULTIMATELY PAID THE PRICE OF NUMEROUS RED ASSAULTS. IN 2006, I ANSWERED THE PLAINTIVE MEOWS OF A KITTEN LOST IN THE CITY, BUT LOVABLE, LOVE, DIED SHORTLY AFTER BLESSING MY HOME.

AGGRESSION INDOORS WAS MINOR COMPARED WITH WHAT PHOENIX PROSECUTED OUTDOORS. IT WAS VIRTUALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO PREVENT HOUDINI FROM MAKING A DASHING ESCAPE. ON ONE OCCASION I WORRIED ABOUT HIS SURVIVAL AFTER A SCREECHING, NIGHTTIME CAT FIGHT. I ALSO RECALL AN AFTERNOON CHASE TO RETRIEVE HIM AND BRING HIM BACK HOME. I RAGED TO MY NEIGHBOR (WHO DIDN’T UNDERSTAND THE IMPORT OF OWNING A CAT FROM HELL), “YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO KILL HIM.”


PHOENIX ESCAPED ANOTHER TRAGEDY BY A FLUKE. MY DAUGHTER, FOLLOWING A HUNCH, SEARCHED A NEIGHBOR’S BARN ( A THIRD TIME ) AND FOUND HIM TRAPPED IN THE RAFTERS - STARVING AND WEAK. THE SEARCH FOR MY MISSING CAT HAD ALREADY BEEN CONDUCTED FOR OVER A WEEK. POOR PHOENIX, LUCKILY ESCAPED A LONELY DEATH.

YEARS ADVANCED AND THE CAT FROM HELL SHOWED ME HIS DEVOTED, NEEDY, SHARE-MY-BED, DEEPLY AFFECTIONATE SIDE. BUT TO STRANGERS HE REVEALED HIS ‘DARKER’ SIDE. HE GENEROUSLY GREETED STRANGERS BY PURRING LOUDLY, RUBBING FACES AND HEADS. BUT THEN... CANINES SUNK INTO SKULL. VISITORS WERE WARNED THAT THE CAT WOULD BITE.

EVENTUALLY PHOENIX DISAPPEARED AGAIN. WHEN HE FINALLY STAGGERED HOME, UP TO MY BACK DOOR, HE WAS EXHAUSTED, BARELY BREATHING, DISPLAYING A GAPING BITE HOLE IN HIS THROAT. CARRIED TO A SAFE CORNER UPSTAIRS, I RELEGATED HIM TO A PLACE THAT I THOUGHT MIGHT AFFORD HIM PERMANENT PEACE. BUT PHOENIX GRADUALLY RECOVERED - EXCEPT FOR HIS VOICE. THE HEALED HOLE CONCEALED HIS DAMAGED VOCAL CHORDS; PHOENIX PERMANENTLY LOST HIS MEOW. BY NOW I MARVELED AT HIS COURAGE AND WILL TO SURVIVE AND RESOLVED THAT PHOENIX WOULD REMAIN CONFINED TO THE HOUSE.

I WAGED AN ONGOING BATTLE AGAINST EAR MITES AND FLEAS. FEW YEARS PASSED WITHOUT MEDICATION INFUSED INTO PHOENIX’S EARS TO RID HIM OF THE BLACK CRUST OR WITHOUT INFESTATIONS OF ITCHING FLEAS. THE CRUSADE CULMINATED IN A TWO YEAR SIEGE; BATHS, COLLARS, INSECTICIDE DROPS VERSUS THE FLEAS. CONDITIONS AT ONE POINT WERE SO BAD THAT PHOENIX ACTUALLY ITCHED AND SCRATCHED AWAY MOST OF HIS FUR AND COUGHED UP A HAIRBALL EVERYDAY. WHAT A BALD, UGLY, BUT EXQUISITELY PATIENT CAT.

ON AUGUST 15, 2008, FLEAS FINALLY CONQUERED, I BEHELD A RESURRECTED PHOENIX. HIS COAT RADIATED IN PEAK CONDITION. AT 13, HIS FUR WAS THICK, SOFT, SHINY, HEALTHY, THE BEST OF THE BEST.

PHOENIX’S PENULTIMATE ESCAPE WAS FROM A STROKE. SEPTEMBER 3, 2008, A SEIZURE GRIPPED HIM. HE SUDDENLY LOST EQUILIBRIUM, WOBBLED, BOTH FECES AND VOMIT SHOT OUT OF HIM. IMMOBILE, I PUT HIM INTO A BATHROOM AND SHUT THE DOOR. I WAITED. 3 HOURS LATER PHOENIX APPEARED TO HAVE RECOVERED. HIS NORMAL BEHAVIOR RESUMED THE FOLLOWING DAY.

PHOENIX’S NINE LIVES WERE USED UP ONLY A FEW MONTHS LATER. HE WHO WEATHERED FIGHTS, INJURIES, INVADERS, WHO FED WITH GUSTO EACH DAY, WHO VOICELESS NEVER MISSED A MEAL OR A NAP TIME, WHO PREFERRED TO SLEEP ON MY FACE OR AT LEAST TOUCHING A HUMAN’S BODY - FELL ILL. WHEN PHOENIX STOPPED EATING I WORRIED. I TRIED THE USUAL TEMPTING TIDBITS BUT MY CAT FADED. HIS PURRING SLOWED. WHEN CANCER ATE A HOLE IN HIS BRAIN, HIS EYES BLED. PHOENIX WENT TO BABY JESUS CHRISTMAS DAY, 2008.

RED IS THE COLOR OF BLOOD, OF MY CAT FROM HELL, THE COLOR OF HIS GRAVE MARKER, THE METAPHORICAL COLOR OF HIS PSYCHE EACH TIME HE TRIED TO KILL A TRESPASSER AND OF THE COLOR OF MY ANGER WHEN I COULD NOT QUELL HIS INSTINCTS. NOW THAT HE’S GONE OVER A YEAR, I REGRET THAT I DID NOT ADEQUATELY RETURN HIS LOVE. I REGRET THAT I DID NOT SUFFICIENTLY APPRECIATE THE 13 1/3 YEARS PHOENIX GAVE TO ME AS TIME SHARED WITH A GREAT CAT.

I REMEMBER AN AFTERNOON WHEN I WAS CRACKING BLACK WALNUTS ON A BRICK ON THE FLOOR. SUDDENLY THE HAMMER BASHED MY THUMB CRUSHING FLESH AND SENDING MY SCREAMS INTO THE HOUSE. PHOENIX WAS THE FIRST BODY TO RUSH TO MY DISTRESS, TROTTING UP TO ME WITH EMPATHY. NO, PHOENIX YOUR CONTINUOUS PURRING SHOULD HAVE REMINDED ME THAT YOU ARE NOT A CAT FROM HELL. I LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING YOU, AGAIN, IN HEAVEN.