WOMEN

THE GREATEST STORY EVER TOLD IS THE LIFE OF JESUS. THE GREATEST QUESTION EVER ASKED -I ASK- IS, "WAS MARY NUTS?" WAS MARY, THE MOTHER OF JESUS, THE PUREST WOMAN, NUTTY LIKE ALL WOMEN WHO BEFORE HER AND AFTER HER HAVE INHABITED THIS EARTH? BIOLOGY AND HISTORY TELL US THAT WOMEN ARE RULED NOT BY THEIR HEADS BUT BY DISAPPOINTED AND OFTEN VENGEFUL HEARTS. MEN CAN’T ‘MAKE THEM HAPPY’ NO MATTER WHAT THEY DO OR DON’T DO. THEIR NAIVETE WEARS OFF AFTER FIRST LOVE AND WITCHERY THEREAFTER ENROBES THE FAIRER SEX. TRADITIONALLY, THEY HAVE NEVER BEEN FAIR FOR LONG. THEIR TRAGEDY OF BOTTOMLESS EMOTIONS UNFOLDS AND NO AMOUNT OF TALK OR REALITY CAN ARREST IT.

MARY'S CREDENTIALS ARE IMPRESSIVE. SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF GOD, CONCEIVED WITHOUT SIN AND WITHOUT KNOWLEDGE OF MAN, ASSUMED BODY AND SOUL INTO HEAVEN AT DEATH. WAS SHE TOO NUTS OR IS SHE THE PROPER ROLE MODELS FOR WOMEN? DID SHE HEAR FROM ANNE WHAT A POETESS, SARAH PIATT, PENNED OVER A HUNDRED YEARS AGO?

"MY MOTHER SAYS I MUST NOT PASS
TOO NEAR THAT GLASS;
SHE IS AFRAID THAT I WILL SEE
A LITTLE WITCH THAT LOOKS LIKE ME,
WITH A RED MOUTH TO WHISPER LOW
THE VERY THING I SHOULD NOT KNOW."

I FOR ONE CANNOT THINK OF MARY AS A WITCH OR THAT MODERN RHYMING ASSIGNATION. HAVING BEEN THERE, DONE THAT AND INSTITUTED MY 'REFORM,' I KNOW WHAT NUTS IS LIKE - WRONG. BUT THE SOAP-OPERA LIFE, PLAYED OUT FOR KEEPS AROUND THE WORLD TODAY PROVES THAT WOMEN HAVE FOUND NO ROLE MODEL WORTH EMULATING OR WORTHY OF THEIR TRUST.

AS PROFESSOR HIGGINS SAID IN SHAW'S PYGMALIAN, "WHY CAN'T A WOMEN BE MORE LIKE A MAN?" OR AS I SUGGEST, FAKE IT.