AN IMMODEST PROPOSAL

SOME PARENTS LOVE THEIR CHILDREN WHEN THE ARE DEAD BUT THEY HATE THEM OR ARE INCONVENIENCED AND ANNOYED BY THEM... ALIVE.
PARENTS ARE TOO BUSY, WORKING TO SUPPORT THEIR CHILDREN.
CHILDREN ARE TOO BUSY WITH ATHLETICS AND AFTER-SCHOOL PROGRAMS TO STUDY OR READ. CHILDREN ARE TOO BUSY WATCHING T.V. AND PLAYING VIDEO GAMES. CHILD DEVELOPMENT EXPERTS AND EDUCATORS ADVISE THAT PARENTS READ TO THEIR CHILDREN FROM AN EARLY AGE. IN-SCHOOL ACCELERATED READING CLASS PERMITS STUDENTS TO READ BECAUSE THEY HAVE LITTLE TIME FOR BOOKS OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL. CHILDREN AND PARENTS EAT TOO MUCH. AFTER-SCHOOL PROGRAMS FEED SNACKS AND THEN BABY SIT UNTIL 5 PM WHEN A BUS RETURNS CHILDREN TO THEIR HOMES. SCHOOLS PROVIDE BREAKFASTS, LUNCHES, SUMMERTIME LUNCHES AND PARTIES WITH SNACKS. AN EPIDEMIC OF CHILDHOOD OBESITY PANICS THE NATION. 3500 ABORTIONS ARE PERFORMED IN THE UNITED STATES EACH DAY. A LOCAL MURDER/SUICIDE LEAVES 2 CHILDREN UNDER THE AGE OF 3 ORPHANED. THIS AND OTHER 'FAMILY' ATROCITIES MAKE A LIAR OUT OF THOMAS JEFFERSON WHO IN 1824 FELT THAT "BARBARISM HAS BEEN RECEDING BEFORE THE STEADY STEP OF AMELIORATION; AND WILL IN TIME, I TRUST, DISAPPEAR FROM THE EARTH." AT AGE 81, OUR MUCH REVERED PAST PRESIDENT MUST HAVE ALREADY GONE POTTY.

IF THESE GLARING CONTRADICTIONS AND HYPOCRISIES CRY OUT FOR A SOLUTION, I HAVE ONE. PARENTS AND CHILDREN ALIKE ARE TOO BUSY FOR EACH OTHER. THE GENERATIONAL CIRCLE OF LIFE CONTINUOUSLY REVOLVES AROUND NON-EXISTENT, PROPER PRIOR PARENTING. FOR THE BENEFIT OF THE DOOMED IF THEY EXIST AND FOR THOSE DOOMED TO NOT EXIST, I PROPOSE THAT THIS COUNTRY NEED LESS, NOT MORE CHILDREN. LESS CHILDREN WOULD BE DOOMED TO DEATH PREMATURELY. LESS WOULD BE DOOMED TO A BUSY LIFE WITHOUT TIME TO FIND LIFE'S INHERENT MEANING. LESS WOULD BE STARVED OF GOOD FOOD, A GOOD GOD, GOOD BOOKS AND GOOD SILENCE. I PROPOSE THAT AMERICA ENCOURAGE A CESSATION OF CHILDBEARING UNTIL THE DEFINITION OF CHILD AND THE MEANING OF BEARING RESPONSIBILITY ARE CLARIFIED.