WHERE'S CONSERVATISM

FINDING WALDO IS MORE ENJOYABLE AND LESS STRESSFUL THAN FINDING CONSERVATIVES TODAY. AMERICAN CONSERVATISM ORIGINATED WITHIN THE INTELLECTUAL COMMUNITY AFTER WORLD WAR II. ITS 5 CRITICAL BELIEFS OUGHT TO BE RESURRECTED IN THIS ERA OF GOOFY PROFESSORSHIPS FOR RHETORIC AND CULTURE WHICH IRONICALLY ALLOW FOR MISUSE OF LANGUAGE AND RE-DEFINITION OF CULTURE AWAY FROM CONSERVATISM.

1. CONSERVATISM POSITS THAT INEQUALITY AND FREEDOM ARE RELATED. WHAT THINKERS COULD AGREE TO THIS TRUISM WHEN EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK AND WITHIN EVERY INITIATIVE THEY DISAVOW THE EXISTENCE OF DIFFERENCES. CONSERVATIVES KNOW THAT EVEN THOUGH LIFE IS UNFAIR AND TALENT UNEQUALLY DISPENSED, OPPORTUNITY IS UNIVERSAL; ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.

2. CONSERVATIVES OBSERVE THAT ATTEMPTS TO REDUCE INEQUALITY WILL REDUCE FREEDOM. WHAT INTELLECTUALS COULD AGREE THAT AFFIRMATIVE ACTION WHICH ATTEMPTS TO LEVEL THE LEARNING PLAYING FIELDS ACTUALLY HINDERS THE CAUSE OF EXCELLENCE? IN REALITY, MANIPULATION OF HUMAN TALENT IS COUNTERPRODUCTIVE.

3. CONSERVATISM BELIEVES THAT FREEDOM WILL DISAPPEAR IF IT IS BASED SOLELY UPON MATERIAL POSSESSIONS. WHAT PHILOSOPHERS COULD REASON THAT SELFISHNESS INHERENTLY INVOLVES GREED AND MATERIAL GREED EVENTUALLY LEADS TO THE SACRIFICE OF THE PERSONAL FREEDOM AND THE FREEDOM OF OTHERS? ADDICTIONS TO DRUGS, FOOD, CIGARETTES, ALCOHOL, GAMBLING, SEX, MONEY, INSTANT GRATIFICATION, MOMENTARY PLEASURES AND SELFISH PURSUITS HAVE ROBBED HUMAN BEINGS OF THEIR GREATEST GIFT, FREE WILL. RATHER THAN CHOOSE MORAL GOODS, PEOPLE CHOOSE WORLDLY ACQUISITIONS.

4. CONSERVATIVES REASON THAT VIRTUE AND POLITICS GO TOGETHER, BUT WHAT THINKERS COULD DEVINE VIRTUE'S PROPER RELATIONSHIP TO POLITICS WHEN POLITICS DEFINES ITSELF BY ITS DEVIANCY FROM DECENCY AND DEVOTION TO DISTORTION AND LIES? CONTRARY TO THE GREAT, QUESTIONING TRIUMVIRATE, PLATO, ARISTOTLE AND SOCRATES, WHO SEARCHED FOR GOOD GOVERNANCE IN THE HIGHEST PLACES, POLITICS' GREATEST VIRTUE TODAY IS MUCKRAKING.

5. CONSERVATISM SEES BEST GOVERNANCE AS PRUDENT, MODERATE AND REASONABLE. WHAT PHILOSOPHERS COULD AGREE UPON THE ARISTOTELIAN "GOLDEN MEAN?" UNWISE, IMMODERATE AND UNREASONABLE SPENDING, FUNDING, BENEFITS, GIVEAWAYS, KICKBACKS, PORK, DEFICITS, REGULATIONS, TAXES, ETC. CHARACTERIZE AMERICA'S GOVERNANCE. HE "WHO GOVERNS BEST DOES NOT GOVERN LEAST" IN THE 21 ST CENTURY.
IS AMERICAN CONSERVATISM DEAD OR JUST SLEEPING? WHAT PRINCE WILL AWAKEN IT WITH A KISS OF COMMON SENSE? WILL THEIR MARRIAGE THEN, BASED ON PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY AND FREEDOM LIVE HAPPILY AFTER?