FOLLYWOOD

A CRITIC OF HOLLYWOOD FILMS SHOULD AT LEAST UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT OF FILM MAKING AND RENDER RESPECTABILITY TO THE MEANING OF CRITIC. NOT SO WITH WHAT PASSED FROM A PAID PARTICIPANT IN CONSUMER FRAUD WHO I HEARD BANTERING WITH A FELLOW FOOL ON MY RADIO THIS MORNING. I SAY FOOL BUT ACTUALLY 3 FOOLS PARTICIPATED IN THE INTERVIEWED SEGMENT. THE FIRST WAS THE MOVIE CRITIC WHO NEITHER TOLD ABOUT THE PLOT, CHARACTERS, THEME, SETTING, POINT OF VIEW, COSTUMES, MUSICAL SCORE OR FILM TECHNIQUES OF ANY MOVIE REVIEWED. WHAT PASSED FOR ANALYSES WERE SIMPLISTIC, DESCRIPTIVE ADVERBS, MEANINGLESS REFERENCES TO STARS AND MUCH PERSONAL PALAVER. I GUESS I WAS SUPPOSED TO BASE MY MONETARY INVESTMENT IN A THEATRE’S FARE ON WHAT EMPTINESS I HEARD. THE SECOND FOOL WAS THE INTERVIEWER WHO REACTED AS IF THIS COMMENTATOR ACTUALLY DIVULGED RELEVANT OR VALUABLE INFORMATION ABOUT THE QUALITY OF THE IMAGES PRESENTED ON A SILVER SCREEN. THE THIRD FOOL, UNFORTUNATELY, WAS THE LISTENER WHO WAS GRANTED NO SPECIFIC INFORMATION. THE CRITIC COULD ONLY HAVE BEEN USEFUL TO A MOVIEGOER IF HIS CATCHY COMPLIMENTS OR SNIDE INNUENDOES SPECIFICALLY SERVED AS RECOMMENDATIONS FOR OR VALIDATED FLICS. BUT NO SUCH HELPFUL DATA WAS FORTHCOMING. HOLLYWOOD DIRECTORS AND PRODUCERS PACKAGE GARBAGE TODAY IN WRAPPINGS WITH SLICK APPEAL AND SPECIAL EFFECTS. A PROPER CRITIC SHOULD HELP THE PUBLIC WALK THROUGH THE MINEFIELD OF MEDIOCRITY, SEX AND VIOLENCE. A WISE MAN BORN AT THE TURN OF THE LAST CENTURY WAS PRESCIENT IN HIS ANALYSIS OF AS "HOLLYWOOD ...HOLLYWOOD ...FABULOUS FOLLYWOOD...CELLULOID BABYLON, GLORIOUS, GLAMOROUS." IF A MOVIE OF DRAMATIC AND ARTISTIC SUBSTANCE HAPPENS TO BE OUT IN A THEATRE SOMEWHERE, MOVIE CRITICS - SUCH AS THE ONE I HEARD - WON'T HELP US MOTLEY FOOLS FIND IT.