THE SUPER BOWL

I CHOOSE TODAY AS THE DAY TO ADDRESS THE UNAVOIDABLE - SUPER BOWL XL - WHICH I WILL AVOID LIKE THE PLAGUE AS IT IS DESCENDING ON AMERICAN HOUSES. FORTY YEARS AGO, WITH A SMALL SCREEN IN FRONT OF ME AND A COMFORTABLE CHAIR UNDER ME I CHEERED FOR OUR FAMILY'S FAVORITE FOOTBALL TEAM - I FORGET WHO - AT THE 1ST SUPER BOWL. THEN I WAS ARMED WITH A COMPLETE UNDERSTANDING OF THE RULES OF ENGAGEMENT. YOUNG AND NAIVE; ENTHUSIASTIC AND ENGAGED, I DUG IT. BUT MUCH WATER HAS RUSHED UNDER THE BRIDGE OF SANITY SINCE THE HEYDAY OF THE GRIDIRON. I DON'T CARE THAT THE SEAHAWKS ARE NOT ACTUAL BIRDS, NOR DO SEAHAWKS EVEN EXIST, BUT THE ALLITERATIVE NAME CARRIES THE TEAM'S SPIRIT. I COULD CARE LESS IF THE PITTSBURGH STEELERS WIN EVEN THOUGH I HAVE MORE FAMILIARITY WITH THE NAME AND PLACE HAVING VISITED THE CITY OF PITTSBURGH ITSELF A FEW TIMES AND EXITED WITH FOND MEMORIES. I HAVE NO CLUE TO THE STATUS OF THE TEAMS OR TO WHICH LEAGUES THEY BELONG. DO NFL OR AFL PERSIST? I REJECT NOT ONLY THE SUPER BOWL, BUT ALSO THE SUMMER AND WINTER OLYMPICS. ALSO MAJOR, MINOR AND LITTLE LEAGUES AND ANY INDOOR OR OUTDOOR EXERCISE. I REJECT ANY EXTREME EXERTION BECAUSE IT PROVIDES AN EXCUSE TO OR SUBSTITUTION FOR ALTERNATIVE THOUGHTS. A POLL ABOUT SPECTATOR SPORTS' ENTHUSIASTS ONCE REVEALED THAT NOT HALF OF AMERICA IS AS SPORTS CRAZY AS THE MEDIA AND ADVERTISEMENTS DEPICT. WHETHER THIS IS TRUE OR CONSEQUENTIAL, INTEREST IN SPORTS STILL WASHES OVER ME AS WATER OVER THE DAM OF SANITY. READ MY LIPS - I HAVE NO INTEREST IN OR USE FOR SPORTS EXCEPT FOR ONE. OH THAT ONE. I WAITED UNTIL THE FINAL DAY AT SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA'S 2004 SUMMER OLYMPICS TO WITNESS THE FINAL, FEW, TELEVISED MINUTES OF THE FINAL, TRIUMPHANT EVENT AT WHICH THE QUINTESSENTIAL OLYMPIAN ATHLETE KICKED ASS. YES, I REFER TO THE GRAND PRIX HORSE, THE GREATEST ATHLETE, RIPPLING OVER THE OBSTACLES FLIPPING HIS FLYING TAIL, AS I A MERE MORTAL, WITNESSED TOUCHDOWNS THAT QUALIFIED AS POETRY IN MOTION.