LUDDITE CAPITALIZED

I HAVE FLED POPULAR CULTURE AS QUICKLY AND DELIBERATELY AS A NATIVE ESCAPES A TSUNAMI OR A BRIT PADDLED AWAY FROM THE HUNS AT DUNKIRK, IN WORLD WAR II. I SHOULD RING IN 2006 WITH A CEREMONY ELEVATING MY LOWER CASE SYNOMYM, luddite, TO JUSTIFIED AND CAPITALIZATED POSITION - LUDDITE. THE MODERN WORLDS OF MOVIES, T.V., SPORTS, BOOKS AND MUSIC ARE AS ALIEN IN PLANETARY POSITION TO ME AS A 'STAR WARS', A 'LORD OF THE RINGS' OR A ' STAR TREK' - ALL BLOCKBUSHERS I HAVE NOT SEEN. I HAVE NOT SEEN TO PARTICIPATE IN ANY OFFERING OF THE MASS MEDIA. NOT ONLY AM I DISINTERESTED, BUT I ALSO THINK DEVILRY ACCOUNTS FOR MOST OF THE DETAILS.

IN THE NEW YEAR, FOR EXAMPLE, THE DA VINCI CODE , 'SUPERMAN' (AGAIN ), 'MIAMI VICE' AND HUNDREDS OF FILMS FOR THE POPULACE WITH SPECIAL EFFECTS AND WITHOUT PLOTS, WILL FILL UP THE BIG SCREENS. ONE OF THE MANY TELEVISION SITCOMS WILL PORTRAY A UTAH HUSBAND WITH THREE WIVES TITLED, 'BIG LOVE'. 'DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES' AND 'FEAR FACTOR' WILL RETURN FOR NEW SEASONS. SPORTS WILL CONTINUE TO BE SUPER-SIZED WITH THE WORLD BASEBALL CLASSIC AND SUPER BOWL XXXX (A LONG THROW FROM THE 1ST MATCH-UP I WITNESSED AS A YOUTH). NASCAR AND WWE (WORLD WRESTLING ENTERTAINMENT), WHICH I GRANT REQUIRE TALENT AND GUTS ON THE SCALE OF HULK, WITH OUR WITHOUT WHEELS, WILL RETURN TO CHEERING AUDIENCES. BEST-SELLING BOOKS WILL TEND TO BE NOVELS FEATURING THEMES OF OVERACTIVE LIBIDOS AND DISSATISFACTION, THEMES WHICH SEEM COUNTER-INTUITIVE AS REWARDING READS. MUSIC WILL SUCCEED BECAUSE IT CHARACTERIZES RATHER THAN SOOTHES THE SAVAGE BEASTS, WHO GO PLATINUM WITH ENGINEERED SOUNDS AND OBSCENITIES. THE REALITIES OF THE COMMON DENOMINATORS OF MOST OF THESE FORMS OF ENTERTAINMENT DO NOT COMMAND MY ATTENTION. GIVE ME A WELL-WRITTEN ACCOUNT OF A GOOD OLD-FASHIONED WAR.

IT'S NO BETTER AT THE TOP, WHERE UPSCALE LIVING SUPPORTS EQUALLY UNAPPEALING AND UNREWARDING PRODUCTIONS AND PRODUCTS. AS A CAPITALIZED LUDDITE, PER SE, I MUST REJECT HOME CLEANING COMPANIES, HYBRID CARS AND OVERPRICED SHOPPING EXPERIENCES SUCH AS AT 'WHOLE FOODS.' A HAPPY REACTIONARY LIKE ME MUST RETAIN MY FUNCTIONAL, VINTAGE HEADBOARD EVEN IF A 'CUTTING EDGE,' PADDED, LINEN OR MOHAIR ONE COMMANDING A $2000 PRICE TAG IS ADVERTISED. I SELECTED MY KING-SIZE HEADBOARD YEARS AGO. ONCE PAID, CONTRARY TO JAMES BOND, IS ENOUGH.