A THAUMATURGE

PRAY FOR A MIRACLE. AMERICA NEEDS ONE. SHE WALLOWS IN AN OBESITY EPIDEMIC NOT FROM OVER-EATING -A SURE SIGN OF THE PROSPERITY OF OUR TIME - BUT FROM OVER-FEEDING EGOS, FROM SELF-GRATIFICATIONS. MY GOVERNOR'S EGO GRATIFICATION TAKES THE FORM OF AN ATTEMPT TO EXPAND HEALTH CARE COVERAGE TO FAMILIES THAT ARE 300% ABOVE THE POVERTY LEVEL. AT PRESENT IT IS 200%. THIS EXEMPLIFIES HIS AGENDA OF UNIVERSAL COVERAGE IN SPITE OF WHAT HIS CONSTITUENTS WANT OR ARE WILLING TO PAY FOR. A CITY MAYOR WANTS THE STATE TO PICK UP MORE OF THE FUNDING FOR HIS SCHOOL DISTRICT, DISREGARDING THE OPINIONS OF THOSE TAXED ELSEWHERE, JUST AS LONG AS HE GETS STRANGERS TO FOOT MORE OF HIS EDUCATION BILL. HIS DISTRICT WILL THEN BE FREE TO DEVOTE MONIES TO ITS SPORTS CURRICULA. A NEARBY CITY CELEBRATING A FESTIVAL BOWED TO POLITICAL CORRECTNESS WHEN IT CROWNED A PRINCESS FOUR TIMES OVER. FIRST, SECOND AND THIRD SLOTS WERE FILLED FOR A PRINCESS, A LITTLE PRINCESS, A PETITE PRINCESS AND A BABY PRINCESS. NO CHILD'S OR PARENT'S SELF ESTEEM COULD BE LEFT BEHIND.

NATIONALLY, SQUABBLING PERSISTS OVER THE IMMIGRATION PROBLEM TEMPORARILY PUTTING ASIDE THE QUAGMIRE IN IRAQ. BOTH DEMOCRATS AND REPUBLICANS EQUIVOCATE ISSUES AND ACCOMMODATE EACH OTHER DEMONSTRATING THAT LUKEWARM SUITS THEM BEST. THEY SEEK A PROPER IMMIGRATION BILL THAT ASSUAGES AS MANY DIVERSE EGOS AS POSSIBLE. YET, AS RUSH LIMBAUGH NOTED, THEY WHO ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD WILL BE KILLED; THEY WHO STRADDLE THE FENCE WILL BE CASTRATED.

NO SHINING KNIGHT, LOOMS ON THE HORIZON, NOT EVEN A BRAVE, EUNUCH. PERHAPS, A BELL, BOOK AND CANDLE COULD PURGE THE CURSE OF SPINELESS, SELF-CENTERED AMERICANS. PERHAPS, A DOSE OF DINOVITE, A CONCOCTION THAT CURES EVERYTHING FROM EAR MITES TO BAD BREATH IN DOGS COULD HELP. AMERICA COULD USE A BREATH OF FRESH AIR PERHAPS, WE SHOULD PRAY FOR A MIRACLE.