TO COLLEEN

IT'S MOTHER'S DAY AND TO MY RECENTLY MARRIED DAUGHTER I OFFER THIS BRIEF GIFT OF ADVICE, ALTHOUGH ADVICE IS AN INCENDIARY WORD TO YOUTH.

1. LEARN THE MEANING OF POOR IN SPIRIT, WHETHER THIS BE TRANSLATED AS COMMON SENSE CHEAPNESS AT ALL TIMES OR BE TRANSLATED AS HUMILITY BY YOUR ACKNOWLEDGMENT OF YOUR UNWORTHINESS IN THE EYES OF GOD. GRANTED, THIS IS PREDICATED ON BELIEF IN GOD; NOT GRANTED IS THE CHOICE TO MAINTAIN THIS LOWLINESS AND SUBMISSION TO THE VICISSITUDES OF LIFE.

2. READ DR. LAURA SCHLESSINGER'S BOOK, THE PROPER CARE AND FEEDING OF HUSBANDS. HAD IT BEEN WRITTEN IN MY DAY, AND HAD I READ IT, IT WOULD HAVE HELPED ME TO SAVE A RECIPIENT FROM ALL THE MISERY I INFLICTED OVER THE YEARS.

3. BE HAPPY (YOU CAN'T MAKE IT HAPPEN).
LOVE, MOM