UNCOMMON CENTS 97

LIES ARE HOT. AS INCENDIARIES, THEY COULD METAPHORICALLY MELT THE FRIGID, CRYSTALLINE LANDSCAPE THAT TEMPORARILY SURROUNDS MY HOME THIS WEEK. THIS MORNING, ON THE RADIO, I HEARD THE 'GREAT LIE' AGAIN PERPETRATED. IT REFERENCED THAT "TWILIGHT DELIGHT," THOSE "MOMENTS OF TIMELESS PLEASURE," THE "LUXURIOUSLY DEEP AND VELVET MOMENT OF UNRIVALED INTENSITY," TO "SAVOR (AS A ) PLEASURABLE AND RELAXING FINISH TO THE DAY." WHAT "INTENSE PLEASURE" WILL LINGER?" FOR WHAT DELIGHT DOES " TIME STAND STILL?" MY LOCAL RADIO STATION'S INTERVIEW DID NOT COVER GHIRARDELLI'S 72% CHOCOLATE TO WHICH THESE ENTICING WORDS REFER. RATHER PERSONS IN THE DISCUSSION LIED ABOUT THE DANGERS OF SECOND-HAND SMOKE. IT CAUSES CHILDHOOD ALLERGIES, RESPIRATORY ILLNESSES AND EAR INFECTIONS. IT POLLUTES AIR, BREATH, CLOTHES AND CHOKES UP VICTIMS WHO INHALE IT. PARENTS WHO SMOKE ARE GUILTY OF CHILD ENDANGERMENT. 'SMOKELESS' TOBACCO IS EQUALLY BAD. WORSE, FIRST-HAND SMOKE CAUSES HEART DISEASE, MEDICAL PROBLEMS, RAISES INSURANCE COSTS AND KILLS YOU PREMATURELY. SMOKING’S ADDICTIVE; USERS HAVE NO FREE CHOICE. ITS DANGERS HAVE BEEN UNDERPLAYED OVER THE YEARS BY GOVERNMENT AND COMPANIES THAT STAND TO PROFIT FROM ITS USE. THANKS TO THE DO-GOOBERS, IT HAS FINALLY BEEN BANNED IN PUBLIC PLACES.

I HOTLY DISPUTE THE LIE. THE "TWILIGHT, TIMELESS PLEASURE" WON THE WORLD'S WARS AND MADE AMERICANS SAFE AT HOME AND FREE TO SPOUT THEIR EMOTIONAL AND EXAGGERATED PREJUDICES. BILLIONS OF BABIES BORN TO SMOKERS DO NOT DIE. IN FACT, THE BRAIN POWER OF THESE SAME BILLIONS OF BABIES AS GROWN UPS, HAS ADVANCED CIVILIZATION. DO-GOODERS WILL NO DOUBT, INADVERTENTLY, BY THE LAW OF UNFORSEEN CONSEQUENCES, CAUSE CIVILIZATION'S REGRESSION.

WHAT COULD ACT AS A FOLLOW UP TO THE 'BIG' LIE I WAS SUBJECTED TO THIS MORNING? THE SECOND LIE I ENCOUNTERED OVER THE AIRWAYS GAVE 2 OHIO CAREGIVERS A 2 YEAR PRISON TERM FOR PUTTING THEIR FOSTER CHILDREN IN CAGES. THE FACT THAT THEY ARE NOW FREE ON THEIR OWN RECOGNIZANCE AS THEY APPEAL THE VERDICT, IN SOME WAY PROVES THAT THE WITCH HUNT QUALITY OF JUSTICE WHICH WAS SERVED IS QUESTIONABLE. RESTRAINING HANDICAPPED CHILDREN FOR THEIR OWN SAFETY BECAME A LIE.

THIRD IS THE LIE IN THE NEWSPRINT IS THAT AMERICANS ARE CHEAP AND THE RICH ARE GREEDY. THE NUMBERS PROVE OTHERWISE. CHARITY DOES NOT JUST BEGIN AT HOME, IT EXTENDS ACROSS THE WORLD. I READ THAT EXCLUDING WARREN BUFFETT'S 43 BILLION CONTRIBUTION TO THE GATES FOUNDATION LAST YEAR, DONATIONS TO NON-PROFITS BY THE RICH ARE AT THEIR ALL TIME HIGH, UP 63% FROM THE PREVIOUS YEAR, TO 7 BILLION DOLLARS.

A FOURTH LIE IS THAT LIFE IS SO COMPLICATED; BUSY AMERICANS HAVE PRECIOUS, LITTLE, FREE TIME. WELL - 50% OF INTERNET USERS PLAY ONLINE GAMES. THESE ARE NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH VIDEO GAMES WHICH MOTIVATE AND DRIVE THE YOUTHFUL MARKET BETWEEN 18 AND 24. ACROSS THE AGE SPECTRUM FROM 18 TO BEYOND 65, THE ONLINE GAMES HAVE BEGUN AND CONTINUE TO BE PLAYED. MY OH MY, WHERE HAS READING, THINKING, OR QUALITY FAMILY TIME GONE?

A FIFTH LIE I READ ABOUT IS THAT AGING IS BAD FOR YOU AND MUST BE FORESTALLED BY PILLS, DRUGS, THERAPIES AND MEDICAL RESEARCH. NOT ONLY DO YOU BECOME LESS VOLATILE EMOTIONALLY AS YOU AGE, BUT YOU ALSO FIND LESS NEED TO PUSH THE RISK-TAKING ENVELOPE. YES, MELLOWING WITH AGE INCLUDES MATURING IN WISDOM AND TRUTH.

A SIXTH LIE IS THAT WE NEED TO STOP THE WORLD AND GET OFF BECAUSE IT IS DOOMED TO ENVIRONMENTAL DISASTER, POVERTY AND DISEASE. ON THE CONTRARY, THE TREND IS EVER ONWARD AND UPWARD. THE RICH GET RICHER AS ENERGY CONSUMPTION, POVERTY AND DISEASE ARE IGNORED. THERE ARE 10,000 PRIVATE JETS IN THE U.S. USING UP OODLES OF FUEL. THE SUPER RICH (11 SO FAR) ARE DISPLAYING THEIR WEALTH BY ORDERING JUMBO JETLINERS TO THE TUNE OF 150 TO 300 MILLION DOLLARS. OBVIOUSLY, NO EFFORTS ARE ONGOING TO CURTAIL THE PURSUIT OF WEALTH OR THE CONQUEST OF THE SKIES.

A SEVENTH LIE IS THAT INTELLECTUAL EXPERTISE MATTERS. ELEGANT ESSAYS APPEAR REGULARLY IN NEWSPAPERS. THE LANGUAGE OF ELITES GIVES US PHRASES SUCH AS "THE PERDURABILITY OF CULTURE," AND THE "VIRULENCE OF DIVERSITY." NO WONDER ORDINARY CITIZENS HAVE NO INTEREST IN LISTENING TO THEIR BETTERS. WHEN A SIMPLE EXPLANATION IS NEEDED FOR THE ANIMOSITY BETWEEN MUSLIM SECTS OR WARRING TRIBES - STILL PREVALENT 'S WORLDWIDE, HOW ABOUT, ‘THEY HATE EACH OTHER.’ PERIOD. THE QUESTION SHOULD BE HOW TO GET THEM TO SEE THAT CHANGE WOULD BE IN THEIR OWN BEST INTERESTS. ACADEMICS AND THINK TANKS CAN'T PUT OUT THE FIRES OF HATRED.

7 LIES HAVE OCCUPIED ALL 7 RINGS OF DANTE'S HELL FOR ME IN ONE DAY. IF I REVERSE THEIR ORDER, SMOKING WILL APPROPRIATELY OCCUPY THE PITS. THE NATIONAL, NEWS MEDIA PUSH THEIR LEFT-WING LIES BEFORE THEY TRY TO SCARE YOU TO DEATH. LOCAL MEDIA REVERSES THE PROCESS BY SCARING YOU TO DEATH AS PART OF THEIR LEFT-WING LIES.

HINT: TRY THIS QUOTE FROM CHARLES FLETCHER LUMMIS WHO LIVED TO BE 89 YEARS OLD. HIS SHORT POEM "MY CIGARETTE!" BEGINS WITH THIS 1ST RHYMING STANZA.

"MY CIGARETTE! THE AMULET
THAT CHARMS AFAR UNREST AND SORROW,
THE MAGIC WAND THAT, FAR BEYOND
TO-DAY, CAN CONJURE UP TO-MORROW."