UNCOMMON CENTS 65

'WHY SHOULD I BOTHER TO SAVE? WE ONLY LIVE ONCE AND DO NOT KNOW FOR HOW LONG. WHY SHOULDN'T I SPEND, BORROW, FINANCE - EVERYONE ELSE DOES IT? IT CAN'T BE THAT BAD.' TO BOLSTER THIS PHILOSOPHY I JUST HEARD A COMMERCIAL THAT ENCOURAGED BUYERS TO "PUT IT ON A LOWE'S CREDIT CARD AND ASK FOR SPECIAL FINANCING."

MY ANSWER PERSISTS - PRECISELY BECAUSE ONE HAS ONE LIFE TO LIFE, WE SHOULD LIVE WISELY. WE SHOULD NOT BECOME A BURDEN UPON OTHERS FOR WANT OF SELF- SUFFICIENCY, SELF-RELIANCE, INTEGRITY OR RESPONSIBILITY. THE ALTERNATIVE IS RECKLESSNESS AND VICTIMHOOD IN OUR GOLDEN YEARS. WHICH YIDDISH TERM IS APPROPRIATE FOR ONE WHO WOULD BE FOOLISH ENOUGH TO GO DOWN A ROAD TO PENURY? WHY BECOME A SCHLEMEIL OR A SCHLIMAZEL, AN EASY DUPE? OR A SCHLEP WHO MAKES HIS OR HER FINANCIAL JOURNEY DIFFICULT? WHY ALLOW YOURSELF TO LIVE A SCHLOCKY RETIREMENT BY FALLING FOR THE 'YOU DESERVE IT' SCHMALTZ OF ADVERTISERS? OR THE ALLURE OF POPULIST SCHMOOZE. THE BUY NOW PAY LATER SCHTICK WILL MAKE YOU A SCHMUCK IN THE LONG RUN.

THE AMERICAN COLLOQUIALISM MOST APT TO ANSWER THE ONLY ‘ONE LIFE TO LIFE’ JUSTIFICATION WHICH APPEALS TO THE ANGEL OF OUR CONSUMER NATURE, IS - "SHOVE IT." DON'T IMITATE THE 1950'S CULTURAL DESIGNATIONS OF SCHNOOK OR SCHMO BY BLOWING ALL YOUR INCOME ON ACQUISITIONS. SAVE THAT $50 FROM A COUNSELING SESSION, FINANCE CHARGES, ICE CREAM OR CHOCOLATE CAKE FROM SWANNS' OR FROM ALLEN BROTHERS’ STEAKS. SAVE $50 AS AN INSURANCE POLICY. SAVE 50'S UNTIL THEY AFFORD YOU THE OPPORTUNITY TO INVEST IN A MUTUAL FUND OF STOCKS. DISCIPLINE YOURSELF AND YOUR SCHNOZZLE WILL BE POINTED TOWARD A FULFILLING RETIREMENT DURING WHICH PERIOD YOU CAN RUB NOSES WITH SMART, WEALTHY FELLOWS.

HINT: $50 FOR 50 YEARS MAY MEAN $284 OR $1952 OR ZILCH.