UNCOMMON CENTS 24

"WE RECOMMEND THAT THE PRESIDENT DIRECT HIS WORKING GROUP ON FINANCIAL MARKETS TO EVALUATE THESE KEY LEGAL AND REGULATORY ISSUES AND FORMALIZE A PROCESS OF COST-BENEFIT ANALYSIS FOR CAPITAL MARKETS REGULATION." IF THIS RINGS TRUE WITH YOU - DO NOT READ ON. TO COMPATRIOTS, HOWEVER, WHO HAVE NO ABILITY TO DECIPHER THIS JARGON, I WILL APPLY ITS MEANING SIMPLY TO THE MUCH ANTICIPATED CHRISTMAS SEASON. AT CHRISTMAS, NOT THE HOLIDAY SEASON, THE WINTER FESTIVITIES, THE MONTH OF SHOPPING DAYS, KWANZA, HANUKKAH, GIFT-GIVING TIME, THE TIME OF SANTA CLAUS' COMING OR THE SEASON OF PEACE AND LOVE, BUT THE REAL CHRISTMAS TIME, BUYERS MUST BE WARY WITH THEIR POCKETBOOKS. REGULATORY MATTERS ARE IN ORDER; ALSO THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN COSTS AND BENEFITS.

HINT: WHATEVER KIDS WANT, REFUSE TO BUY IT.

IT - IS PROBABLY EXPENSIVE, UNNECESSARY, FRIVOLOUS, ILLUSORY, TIME-WASTING, TIME-CONSUMING, TRANSITORY, UNINTELLIGENT, SILLY OR JUST PLAIN DUMB. WHICHEVER ADJECTIVE YOU APPLY, PRESENTS THAT ARE WORTHLESS IN THE LONG RUN CAN BE ECONOMICALLY REPLACED BY ONES THAT STILL SHOW A RECIPIENT IT'S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS. I INTEND THIS AS A DOUBLE ENTENDRE ON 'THOUGHT'. THINKING AND INTELLIGENCE SHOULD BE ENHANCED BY BOTH PARTIES INVOLVED IN A CHRISTMAS GIFT. THE BRAIN OF YOUR LOVED ONE OUGHT TO BE EMPOWERED (A BOOK PERHAPS?). THINKING MUST CONTROL THE PURSE STRINGS OF YOUR BUDGET AND SAVINGS PLAN OR THEY WILL UNRAVEL AT CHRISTMAS. SHOPPERS SHOULD THINK ABOUT ALTERNATIVE CHOICES FOR MERCHANDISE THAT CAN BE BOUGHT CHEAPER THAN OVERPRICED 'GOT TO HAVE' FADS ( XBOX360, MP3, CELL PHONE, PLAYSTATION3,Wii, iPOD, FLAT SCREEN TV) OR POPULAR BRANDS (OLD NAVY, DOCKERS, BARBIE, BRATZ, DISNEY, BOD, WWE, NASCAR). KIDS WON'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE. IF THEY DO, THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE PARENT IN YOU. REMEMBER. MARKET FORCES ARE OUT TO UNDERMINE YOUR RESOLVE. WHENEVER I PASS THROUGH THE PORTALS OF WAL-MART, MIND AND EYES SET FORWARD, I SHOP FROM A LIST, BUT I AM EVER ALERT LIKE A SERVAL FOR CLEARANCE, SAVE MORE OR CLOSEOUT SIGNS. THERE'S NO MORE APPEALING SOLUTION TO A GIFT QUESTION THAN A REDUCTION OF A $17.88 ITEM TO $5.00 IF THE VALUE ON THE ITEM AND ITS USEFULNESS WARRANT A PURCHASE.

COST-BENEFIT SHOPPING IMPLIES A SEARCH FOR LASTING VALUE. YOU MUST ENFORCE REGULATORY MEASURES. DON'T ABANDON COMMON SENSE AND GO OVERBOARD OR YOU MIGHT DROWN IN DEBT. JESUS IS THE REASON FOR CHRISTMAS. THE VIRTUE OF SELF-CONTROL IS NEVER OUT OF SEASON.







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