SAFE AT HOME

I'M SAFE AT HOME, BEHIND HOME BASE WHERE SANITY REIGNS. THE OHIO STATE VS. MICHIGAN CONTEST RECEIVED NATIONWIDE ATTENTION AND NON-STOP LOCAL MEDIA COVERAGE FROM PRE-GAME HYPE TO POST-GAME MAYHEM. WHY THE HOOPLA? WHAT WAS THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THE MEET? WHY DID I TEST MY SANITY, SAFELY ENSCONCED AS USUAL IN FRONT OF MY BLANK T.V. TO TURN ON THE NEWS? ARMED WITH ZERO INTEREST IN FOOTBALL, I BRIEFLY OBSERVED THE CELEBRATORY MANIA ON THE STREETS AND IN THE BARS OF COLUMBUS AS A SOCIAL NOUMENON. BUT I ADMIT, I DON'T GET IT - THE WORLD OF YOUTH ENJOYING SETTING FIRES, DRUNKENNESS AND VANDALISM. I REFUSE TO GET IT. TO CAP MY DISMISSAL OF ALL FORMS OF, BOORISH, UNACCEPTABLE AND UNJUSTIFIABLE BEHAVIOR, A REVELER PUNCHED A PRETTY POLICE HORSE. HOW LOW CAN YOU GET?