A MODEST PARODY OF CHICKEN LITTLE

THE KING OF THE FORESTS OF NATIONS, OSO ANONYMOUS, LIVES IN A HIS PALACE CALLED THE UNITED NOTHING. HE IS A RULER IN NAME ONLY, INEFFECTIVE AFTER HE PONTIFICATES.

CHICKEN LITTLE IS WALKING IN ONE OF THE KING'S FORESTS CALLED USA. SHE'S AN EFFEMINATE CHICK, ESPOUSING POLITICALLY CORRECT VIEWS THAT EMASCULATE MOST MANLY MEN. SHE'S ALSO A GULLIBLE, LIBERAL NEOPHYTE ALWAYS ON THE LOOKOUT FOR THE NEXT NUTTY FEAR THAT MIGHT BEFALL HER SUCH AS GLOBAL WARMING, OBESITY, ROYAL SPYING OR BEING LIED TO. HER IRRATIONAL FEARS THEN BECOME CRISES WHICH IN TURN CAUSE A PANIC WHICH IN TURN CAN ONLY BE AMELIORATED BY THE GOVERNMENT'S HELP THROUGH HIGHER TAXES.

KERPLUNK... CHICKEN LITTLE IS HIT ON THE HEAD BY AN ACORN BUT SHE THINKS THE SKY IS FALLING. "WARNING! WARNING! I MUST TELL THE KING," SHE SHOUTS AS SHE WADDLES AS FAST AS SHE CAN IN THE DIRECTION OF HIS PALACE. WHY DOESN'T CHICKEN LITTLE REMEMBER THAT THE KING NEVER DOES ANYTHING ABOUT REAL OR IMAGINED EMERGENCIES?

SHE MEETS HENNY PENNY DIGGING FOR WORMS. "THE SKY IS FALLING," SHE WARNS. HENNY IS NOT A HEN-PECKED PUSHOVER BUT A SUPREMELY SMART JUDGE WHOSE MISSION IS TO LEGISLATE HER AGENDA REGARDLESS OF POPULAR SENTIMENT. HER JOB IS TO MAKE SURE THAT HER LIBERALISM WORMS ITS WAY INTO THE LAWS OF THE LAND AND EATS AWAY AT CONSERVATIVE VALUES. WHY IS CLEVER HENNY PENNY GULLIBLE ENOUGH TO BELIEVE CHICKEN LITTLE THAT THE SKY IS FALLING? BOTH BIRDS HEAD FOR THE KING'S PALACE AS FAST AS THEY CAN.

THEY MEET COCKY LOCKY, A ROOSTER HUNTING BERRIES. "THE SKY IS FALLING, THE SKY IS FALLING," A DOUBLE WARNING. COCKY IS ACCUSTOMED TO CROWING ABOUT NEWS, TRUE OR FALSE BECAUSE HE'S A MEMBER OF THE LIBERAL MEDIA. ONLY RIPE BERRIES WILL DO FOR HIM BECAUSE UNLESS HIS BIASES ARE SUGAR-COATED, THEY WILL NOT BE SWALLOWED BY THE COMMON CITIZENS, WHY DOES HE ALSO FALL FOR CHICKEN LITTLE'S FALSE PROPAGANDA? ALL SIX DRUMSTICKS HEAD FOR THE PALACE AS FAST AS THEY CAN.

THEY MEET GOOSEY POOSEY SEARCHING FOR SEEDS. " THE SKY IS FALLING, FALLING, FALLING,." HE OR SHE HEARS. QUESTIONABLY MALE OR FEMALE AND PROBABLY GAY, GOOSEY POOSEY, NEVERTHELESS IS A IS A 5TH COLUMNIST. AFTER THEY ARE PLANTED, HIS OR HER LITTLE LIBERAL NUGGETS OF FALSEHOOD AND MISDIRECTION ERUPT AS INSURRECTON AND TREASON AGAINST THE POWERS THAT BE. HE OR SHE WOULD LIKE NOTHING BETTER THAN TO GOOSE THE RULER IN USA. SHOULDN'T GOOSEY REALIZE THAT THREE BIRDS ARE PLAYING LOOSE WITH THE FACTS.? THE FOUR FOWL TRAVEL AS FAST AS THEY CAN TO THE KING.

IN THEIR HASTE, THEY HAVE NOT APPRECIATED THEIR ENVIRONS BECAUSE AS LIBERALS THEY ONLY SEE CONSPIRATORIAL TREES WHICH OBSCURE THE SKY, CLEAR BLUE AS TRUTH AND LEAVE THEM SHADED IN PESSIMISM AND PARANOIA.

THEY MEET FOXY WOXY AND SEE RED. THOUGH HIT WITH A VOLLEY OF "THE SKY IS FALLINGS," FOXY WOXY SPEAKS POLITELY TO THE QUARTET SO AS NOT TO FRIGHTEN THEM. HE KNOWS THEY KNOW HIM AS THE BIG, BAD, RED BEAST, GEORGE W. BUSH, LEADER OF THEIR USA. HIS CONSERVATIVE VALUES AND POLICIES THREATEN TO DEVOUR LIBERAL FOWL AFTER WHICH HE WOULD BURP WITH SATISFACTION. "FOLLOW ME," FOXY SAYS PRETENDING TO KNOW A SHORTCUT TO THE PALACE, BUT PLANNING TO LEAD THE FOUR TO HIS DEN AND GOBBLE THEM UP. WHY ARE THE BIRD BRAINS FOOLED AGAIN? TRUE TO THE ESSENCE OF A FAIRY TALE THE FOWL FOLLOW HIM EVEN THOUGH THEY KNOW THEIR LEADER LIED TO THEM BEFORE.

JUST AS CHICKEN, HENNY, COCKY AND GOOSEY ARE ABOUT TO ENTER FOXY WOXY'S HOLE, THAT DEN OF INIQUITY CALLED THE WHITE HOUSE, WHERE HELLISH DEEDS OCCUR, ...
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THE KING ARRIVES IN THE FOREST WITH HIS HUNTING DOGS. HIS THREE GROWLING, HOWLING AND FULL-THROATED, DEVOTED, LIBERAL LAP DOGS WERE BRED AND RAISED - DIPLOMATICALLY - IN SPECIAL PENS CALLED WASHINGTON, BLUETOWN AND HOLLYWOOD. AL GORE, AL FRANKEN AND MICHAEL MOORE DRIVE FOXY WOXY AWAY, NEVER TO COME BACK, WITH THEIR CRIES OF "LIAR, LIAR, LIAR."
THE KING KINDLY PRESENTS CHICKEN LITTLE WITH AN UMBRELLA TO CARRY INTO THE USA FOREST IN THE FUTURE TO PROTECT HER FROM THE ACORNS, THOSE IMAGINARY EVILS THAT MIGHT BEFALL HER SPECIAL, ILLUMINATED LETTERS ARE PRINTED ON THE OVER-ARCHING CANOPY OF FALSE SECURITY THAT CHICKEN LITTLE HOLDS ABOVE HER HEAD. THEY SPELL D.E.L.U.S.I.O.N.

IS THERE A HAPPY ENDING WHEN THE FOXY CONSERVATIVE LEADER IS DRIVEN AWAY AND CHICKEN LIVERED LIBERALS ARE LEFT TO LIVE HAPPILY AFTER?