A GREAT PICKLE

THERE WAS A TIME WHEN I SPIED A KLAUSSEN JAR OF PICKLES IN A GROCERY STORE COOLER AND THOUGHT, "THE ONLY GOOD PICKLE IS A KLAUSSEN PICKLE." NO MORE. NO WAY. HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SUCH A YOUNG, NAIVE FOOL? I ALREADY HAD LEARNED - BY TRIAL AND ERROR- THAT NO PICKLE IN A JAR WAS GOOD ENOUGH FOR MY DISCRIMINATING PALATE. BUT OVER THE YEARS, THE KLAUSSEN PASSION WANED BECAUSE: 1. THEY BECAME TOO EXPENSIVE, AND 2. THEY JUST WERE NOT SUFFICIENTLY CRUNCHY OR FLAVORFUL. WHAT HAD I NEWLY WROUGHT? I DISCOVERED MRS. WAGES.

HAVING GROWN SOME GARDEN CUCUMBERS, I NEEDED TO FIND A WAY TO PICKLE THEM. I DISCOVERED A PACKET AT A LOCAL SUPERMARKET WITH WHICH I COULD MAKE MY OWN GHERKINS - FAST AND EASY. FAST AND EASY WAYS ARE MY PREFERRED WAYS. MRS. WAGES KOSHER DILL QUICK PROCESS PICKLE MIX, READY IN 24 HOURS. I FIGURED IT WAS WORTH $1.99. IT ONLY CALLED FOR WHITE VINEGAR AND WATER. MY TWO DOLLARS COULD PROCESS ABOUT 5 JARS (16 OZ. TACO SAUCE EMPTIES WORK WELL).

MRS. WAGES WORKED WONDERFULLY. ONE GARDEN SEASON PROVIDED ME WITH ABOUT 12 JARS OF PICKLES SIMULTANEOUSLY COOLING IN MY REFRIGERATOR. MY TASTE IS SLAKED OFF SEASON BY PURCHASING $.29 CUCUMBERS AT MY LOCAL ALDI'S. THESE GREEN WONDERS ARE ALMOST A FOOT LONG. I AM CAREFUL TO CHOOSE THINNER RATHER THAN PLUMPER TUBES BECAUSE THE LARGER CUCUMBERS HAVE THICKER SKINS AND MORE SEEDS, BOTH OF WHICH DETRACT FROM THE QUALITY OF THE PICKLE. I HAVE EVEN UTILIZED PEELED CUCUMBERS IN MY JARS.

ANYWAY, HERE'S THE FORMULA: BOIL UP 1 CUP OF VINEGAR WITH 2 CUPS OF WATER AND 1/4 CUP OF MIX FOR ABOUT 30 SECONDS.

AFTER PACKING THE PICKLE SLICES OR WEDGES INTO THE JARS I POUR IN THE LIQUID. (AT 2 WATER TO 1 VINEGAR, I MIGHT NEED TO TOP OFF THE JAR). THE COOLED JARS ARE REFRIGERATED FOR 24 HOURS.

FORGET THE RETAIL PICKLE CONCESSION. CONSUME NOT.