LONG TIME, NO SEE, MOTHER

UPDATE FROM COUNTRY JAIL, MARCH, 2006
SORRY IT'S TAKEN ME YEARS TO WRITE. NO NEED TO WORRY. SEPARATION ANXIETY IS LONG GONE. I PRETTY MUCH HAVE THE THE HUMANS UNDER COMPLETE CONTROL. WHEN I BARK THEY LET ME IN FROM THE OUTDOORS. WHEN I BARK AND DRIVE THEM CRAZY, THEY ONLY SAY "SHUT UP" BUT DON'T TOUCH ME. WHEN I BARK, THE CATS SCURRY. I'VE BECOME THE BEST CANINE BUMPKIN AROUND.

THE OLD GIRL DIED. NOW IT'S JUST ME!! THE FOOD HERE ISN'T BAD. I JUMP UP AND DOWN FOR IT 2 TIMES A DAY. TREATS ARE DAILY FORTHCOMING. THOUGH MY NEW MOM FEEDS ME CAT FOOD INSTEAD OF DOG FOOD FROM A CAN, IT DOESN'T SEEM TO AFFECT MY WEIGHT AND SHINY COAT.

HERE'S MY TYPICAL DAY: I STILL GET UP BEFORE THE SLOTHS ( TO VIEW THE PORCH SQUIRRELS) AND THEN WHINE NEXT TO THEIR BED UNTIL I GET SOME ACTION. THE TABLES HAVE TURNED, HOWEVER. IT'S THOSE 2 CATS WHO IN THE MORNING, RUN AMOK. MAMA ( REALLY A GRANDMA ) FEEDS ME BREAKFAST INDOORS WITH THE CATS. WHO IS THE SERVANT NOW? THEN I SNIFF OUT THE PERIMETER UNTIL I FEEL GOOD AND READY TO RETURN TO THE INSIDE, AT WHICH TIME I BARK OR TAP ON THE DOOR WITH MY PAW AS A SIGNAL. DAYS HAVE IMPROVED ACTIVITY BECAUSE THEY ARE NOW RETIRED. I CAN RECREATE WITH A WARM SUNBATH OR A HEARTY ROLL AT WILL. TV TIME AT NIGHT STILL CALLS FORTH MY TASTY SNACK.

YOU WILL BE HAPPY TO KNOW I DON'T EVEN CHECK THE GARGAGE CANS ON THE ROAD IN MY SPARE TIME. BUT THE FOOD BIN INDOORS IS STILL NOT SAFE; IT MUST BE LIDDED AND LOCKED UP WHEN THEY ARE AWAY. SPEAKING OF WHICH, I STILL SLEEP ON MY MASTER'S PILLOW WHENEVER I CAN. THEY TRIED TO KEEP ME OUT OF THE BEDROOM WITH A LATCH, BUT I CIRCUMVENTED THAT 'TRICK' WITH A SCRATCHED UP DOOR WHICH GAVE ME PERMANENT ACCESS TO THE BED. OF COURSE, I STILL CAN REST IN MY PRIVATE CHAIR.

THE JAILERS HAVE ABANDONED MY COLLAR TOO. INSTEAD THEY INSTALLED A WOOD 'DOOR' ON THE STAIRS TO PREVENT ME FROM "OFF-LIMITS' SNACKING IN THE CAT BOXES.

YOU WILL BE HAPPY TO HEAR THAT WILD BLACKBERRY PICKING HAS ENDED, THANK GOD, BECAUSE NEWLY PLANTED BUSHES HAVE NO THORNS! THAT VIDEO THEY MADE OF ME CAME TO NAUGHT ANYWAY. MY BALL HAS BEEN RE-INSTATED FOR MY FROLICKING, BUT MY AGE IS BEGINNING TO TELL. HOW OLD AM I? 9 OR 10? IN ADDITION TO MY WIND, MY BACK LEGS ARE GETTING A LITTLE WEAK

I SHOULD TELL YOU ABOUT TWO FRIENDS I MADE OVER THE YEARS. NOT MY NEW MOMMY TO WHOM I AM VERY ATTACHED NOW. IT'S HARD TO ADMIT THAT I MUST CHECK ON HER EACH DAY AND EACH TIME I GO OUT TO 'PLAY' TO MAKE SURE SHE IS WITHIN MY SCOPE. MY ONE FRIEND WAS A PUPPY TO WHOM I BECAME ALPHA DOG. HOW SHE LOVED TO ROMP, SCAMPER AND RACE AROUND WITH ME, EVEN FOR THE TIME SHE WAS ON HER THREE GOOD LEGS AND ONE BROKEN ONE. SHE LIKED MY NEW MOMMY TOO. BUT WHEN SHE GREW UP, THE BROWN AND BLACK BEAUTY (MY COLORS TOO) MOVED AWAY. MY OTHER FRIEND IS THE LADY ACROSS THE ROAD WHO GENEROUSLY REWARDS ME WHENEVER I BARK FOR A BISCUIT. ]

MY SIGHT AND SMELL STILL REIGN SUPREME. I CAN SPY DEER TWO FIELDS AWAY. I CAN CORNER AND AMBUSH A SQUIRREL OR RABBIT WITH A MAD DASH. BUT THEY MUST BE GETTING SMARTER BECAUSE I HAVEN'T CAUGHT EITHER FOR A LONG WHILE. I WOULD LOVE TO! THAT LAST RABBIT WAS TASTY. THAT LAST SQUIRREL DIED.

I WAS NOT FORCED TO DICTATE THIS LETTER TO YOU. RATHER I HOPE IT REASSURES YOU THAT ALL IS WELL AT MY HOME IN THE COUNTRY. I GET FLEA DROPS IN THE SPRING. I HAVE NEVER KNOWN A LEASH. PETA EAT YOUR HEART OUT! I'M A HOUSE PET AND I'M NEEDED. I OVERHEARD THE HUMANS ADMITTING THAT I AM "THE DEFENDER OF THE LANE!"

FINALLY, WILL YOU EVERY GET A NEW POOCH LIKE ME TO LOVE?
SAVANNAH