A TECH-LUDDITE REMEMERS

WHAT DOES A PART-TIME LUDDITE LIKE MYSELF DO WITH A BLACKBERRY? EAT IT!
WHAT USE WOULD I HAVE FOR AN iPOD OTHER THAN- EVEN THOUGH IT'S ONLY ONE- TO SHELL IT?
IS PODCASTING NOT A SCIENCE FICTION TERM?
DOES E-MAILING REQUIRE A STAMP?
WHY STORE MUSIC ON A DISC IF IT'S ALREADY AVAILABLE ON A SHELF AT HOME?
MODERN TECHIE CONVENIENCES ARE ALIEN AND ANATHEMA TO ME. I RESIDE IN A LOST WORLD. DID THEY HAVE CELL PHONES THERE?
I ANTICIPATED A VIDEO GAME AS A GAME SHOW ON MY VIDEO.
BOOTING UP WAS REQUIRED IN COLD WEATHER AND/OR IN SNOW.
A DESKTOP WAS WHAT WAS ETCHED WITH BOY/GIRL INITIALS
NANO WAS AN UTTERANCE FROM "MORK."
I DOWNLOADED HEAVY BOOKS EACH AFTERNOON ONTO A KITCHEN TABLE.
A NOTEBOOK WAS WHAT I CARRIED TO CLASS UNDER MY LEFT ARM.
MOBILE TECHNOLOGY WAS HANGING FROM THE CEILING IN MY BABY'S ROOM.
SCANNING, COPYING AND PRINTING MERGED-3IN1-AS THE MIMEOGRAPH MACHINE.
HASN'T PC ALWAYS MEANT POLITICALLY CORRECT?
ISN'T A CARTRIDGE FILLED WITH LEAD, NOT INK?
ISN'T WORM A HYPENATED FORM FOR A BOOKWORM, LIKE ME?
A MONITOR STROLLED THE HALLS TO CHECK THE STUDENTS' PASSES.
A PROCESSOR MISMASHES FOOD.
'HARD DRIVE' WAS A VERBAL AND FANTISTICAL TABOO.
A DIGITAL IMAGE PRINTED A SLAP ON MY FACE.
LETTERS OF THE ALPHABET OCCURRED ONLY IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER NOT AS DVD,LCD,VHS,GPS,CDROM,DDR,CX,AMD,DSL,GB,MB OR WHATEVER ELSE MAKES NO UNCOMMON SENSE TO A NERD LIKE ME.
I AND MY SATISFIED SOUL.